So low...

[mabel]

Hi

Feel really low today. :weep: I've been off work with anxiety and depression for a month now. Work is the main reason I've become bad this time and my boss is not helping my recovery. Everytime I get a sick note from the doctor he just sighs and tells me I'm not doing the right thing being off work and how disappointed he is! I can't work at the moment. I struggle to leave the house some days! In tears all the time and very very high levels of anxiety. Feel completely 'out of it' and strange.

It seems I have a few better days when I can go out etc. But then I have a few days where its impossible! Last 2 days have been awful. Tried to go for a walk yesterday as I know I need to get out but felt SO dizzy and unreal I only managed to the end of the close and then had to hold onto a lamp post!! :ohmy: So came home again. I've started seeing a really good therapist but I have to drive there. I'm finding driving really hard at the moment and worried I wont be able to make it to my next appointment.

I'm just exhausted today and sitting here sobbing. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel terrible.

Thanks for listening to my nonsense


Mabel x

[Jenveale]

It's not nonsense and it's how I feel today too :hugs:

[oneofus]

Is there any way you can keep in touch with work? If you can do try and keep in touch with your employer, let them know what's going on. If you keep them in the loop then they may be more helpful. It must be difficult for them as well especially if they're a small company. If you let them know how you're getting on then they'll be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel and see a way of helping you get back into work gradually.

If you don't want to talk directly have you a friend at work who you could talk to and pass messages that way.

You've every right to be angry if your employer is treating you poorly, but don't keep it inside. By writing and calling your employer you may be able to improve the relationship and let some of the frustration out, just don't shout or rant at him or her. It's also important to keep in touch with what is going on at work, to stop yourself becoming isolated.

I hope this helps

one of us

[mabel]

Jenveale :hugs:

oneofus- thanks.

I have been keeping in touch with my boss. I have been updating him on my progress and tried to explain how I am feeling. But I seem very up and down at the minute. Every conversation I have with him makes me feel 10 times worse.
Just letting everyone down.

Mabel

[robinbrum]

Depression is an illness which requires treatment and that's the key issue. Employers being employers will look at your illness purely in terms of how it affects their business or organisation. You have rights but you have to balance your needs against their needs. They will want to know that there is some kind of plan for getting better and returning to work. Maybe you could just go part time for a while?
As regards the therapist, is there any way you could use public transport?

[chelley27]

ditto, i know exactly how you feel. im on my 4th week of sickness and basically my employers are getting annoyed with me because i have been off. what they dont think about is them stressing me and giving me unnecessary worry is making my recovery even longer. why dont they understand?? because we are just a number on a production line to them, thats how i feel, im due to go back week after next and the very thought petrifies me, if i jump at my postbox flapping how the hell am i gonna handle getting or being at work for 10 hours :-(((((((((( i think i will get an extended sick note at the end of the day my health is far far more important than work and if they cant understand that then thats their problem . good luck i hope you sort something out xx

[mabel]

Thanks for your kind and helpful replies x

Part time isn't really an option. I'm a teacher and the Head refuses to have job shares. My therapist will do home visits so I'll ask her about that. Public transport is a nightmare around here. I live in a village and its practically non existent. 1 bus a day. One at 7.30am which comes back at 5.30pm. My appointment is at 2pm.

I too jump at the slightest noise! I dread the postman coming! I was doing well but this last week its all gone down hill. I'm struggling to get out of the house.

Mabel

[chelley27]

your welcome.

oh dear one bus is not really much use to you.

i dread the postman coming , i havent been out the house for a few weeks other than to the doctors.

hope your feeling better soon xx

[pinkdove]

Hi Mabel, forget your job at the moment the dr obviously thinks you are not ready for work, and from your posts i can see you are clearly not ready.

You must concentrate on getting better, not worrying about your boss.....they will survive. I have been where you are now, and there is no way i could have worked, i ended up giving up my job, but should have gone on long term sick, your health is more important than any job, be kind to yourself, and think about you, you will get there, but it takes time. take care and good luck x

[mabel]

Thanks x

I'm not sure I could get on a bus at the moment! Last week I was taking myself out for a drive in the car to help! Can't even do that now!

---------- Post added at 18:52 ---------- Previous post was at 18:51 ----------

Thanks pinkdove.

I'm not very good at being kind to myself! But getting better at it!

X

[LilyPad1991]

Bless you. I hope you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Xxx