why... why... WHY???!!!!

[AdamJLeigh]

WHY do I let this disease (anxiety, depression, etc.) hang onto me so tight?

WHY is it SO probable that I have a horrible disease when in all actuality what is wrong is completely related to anxiety?

WHY do I always start symptom searching at the drop of a hat... even when I feel fine?

Why do I allow health anxiety to take away valuable time I have with my friends and family?

WHY do I make my wife crazy with constant "do you think I am ok?" or "Should I be worried about this?" questions?

WHY does this happen to me when others lead a perfectly normal life?

WHY do I cause myself to be up half the night some nights by tossing and turning while wondering if I will wake up in the morning with a horrible disease?

WHY do I constantly believe that a minor symptom is the "beginning of the end"?

WHY? WHY? WHY???

It's because I have a health anxiety... and frankly, I can't always help it. Even with medication, therapy, help, etc... it doesn't always go away.

I am writing all of this tonight because for an hour, I have been symptom searching. I decided to come to the boards and try to get my mind off of my current "episode". My 18-month old daughter is dealing with a mild case of Roseola... and I have made myself convinced that I have a weakened immune system and I will catch it... :( I feel fine. I have no symptoms... I know in my heart that all is fine... but my head doesn't listen.

I also posted these thoughts because I wanted anyone else out there who feels the same way I do to know they are not alone. Sometimes HA sufferers just need to know they are not alone, and that becomes enough to get through the day.

Well... thanks for listening... and thanks for being here - everyone on these boards help!
-Adam

[nomorepanic]

Adam

You need to turn the Why's into Why not's to be honest.

You also need some professional therapy like CBT for the thoughts etc

[Beyonderz]

Hey Adam,

Even though sometimes it seems to be impossible to get over with, it is actually possible to deal with anxiety and health concerns. IT IS POSSIBLE! Never forget this.

We all are experiencing it this way or that way, but we know that it will not go on like that. Try to catch those thoughts when you notice they are coming, before they grow more. First few tries might fail, but you will eventually success getting control over your thoughts. There is no other way. Calm down, give yourself some time. Don't feel guilty and know that it is going to be fine someday. Try not to (I know it's so hard) check every inch of your body for symptoms. Or try to debunk your bad thoughts with logical explanations.

We are not crazy, we are not sick! We know that it's not easy, we know one has to fight for it. There is no other way!
Feel well soon.

[Dremo]

Hi Adam, you know, you come across as an intelligent and eloquent person and shouldn't underestimate yourself. You clearly have well-refined instincts which I would say are probably right. You know your own body better than anyone. Don't be fobbed off by others who may be uninformed...you could be tragically misled. A diminished immune system can be a direct consequence of something much more sinister. Ignore it at your peril.if you contract something as a result and became seriously ill you might not be there to care for your daughter. Incidentally she may not have rosella....has it been diagnosed properly? This was the situation with a friend's child and they left her too long before acting and is now under the care of a cosmetic surgeon. They feel so guilty. Anyway, Adam, do the right thing and consult an expert as soon as you're able. If you don't we'll all be worrying. Take care and keep us posted.
(Can't sleep now!)