Anxiety over the way I look

[GirlAfraid23]

I am pretty obsessed with looking a certain way.

I wear makeup everyday and normally straighten or curl my hair before going anywhere.
My friends are all the same but never seem to look ugly - I have alot of "beautiful" friends.

Now I was taking a photo of myself (as you do) and looking at myself in the mirror today and my roots are coming through quite badly, I also realised just how ugly I really am. Compared to my friends I am the "ugly" one. Someone once said to me "It must be difficult having friends like *** and *** as you're always over-looked.

I am becoming even more obsessed by the way I look and also feel very fat (have put on weight recently) but I tend to comfort eat. I also used to suffer from acne so have scars on my face....
God the whole thing is making me feel quite sick.

[Stormsky]

Our body is just a house for our soul to live in... People that just live a physcial existence ( based on their looks, obessed with looks) dont live a full life in my opinion... they wont be beautiful for ever... age gets to us all !! its the person you are inside that matters.... looks fade when you get old, and what are you left with if you are superficial?
Loving kind people are beautiful... and people that make comments just based on peoples looks are werent taking any notice of anyway!
You can do things to make yourself feel better, and for one stop telling yourself you are ugly!!

[Munki]

It's sad to read this and I know only too well how it feels. I suffered with anorexia for years and now at 36 I still have major issues relating to my appearance. Firstly, whoever said that to you is obviously either jealous or just cruel as you would simply never say such a thing to anyone unless you had a motive. In your mind, do you honestly think a decent person would ever say such a thing? I can't help but think that they must have had a reason to say this and it could well be jealousy. Secondly, looks are a matter of opinion. Some think Angelina Jolie is the most beautiful woman in the world, others think she's freaky looking. And thirdly, if you're unhappy about the way you look then do something about it. If you want to feel better for YOU then lose weight, start exercising, eat healthily and do everything it takes to make yourself happier. I've had friends that have been overweight and somewhat plain and now they look better than the rest of us!
Looks really are second to everything else but I understand the feeling of wanting to be the best you can. As a result, I work out, I eat healthy food and do all that I can to raise my self esteem. Anyone can do it and if it's really what you want then you can too. If, however, its because you feel under pressure to then maybe it's time to find some new friends who don't make you feel as self conscious. xx

[theharvestmouse]

You have to learn to love yourself and be happy with who you are, and not listen to whatever anyone else says.:)

[hoshi]

this also makes me sad to read because i can so relate to it all. for years the obsession to look 'a certain way' consumed my entire life. even if my hair had been blow-dried in the wrong position and i asked people if it looked weird, they would say i look the same as i always do. but in the mirror i can clearly see i look like a totally different person. it bothers me so much i can't stop thinking about when i can just go home and fix myself. it puts me in an 'off' mood the whole day and then people notice i'm not myself, it just makes me feel pathetic.
sometimes from one day to the next i can see so many different appearances of myself in the mirror. it makes me feel like i can't control my own body even with all the time and effort i put in to make everything right. and that's what frustrates me and puts me down. i still don't think my self-image is anywhere near being stable yet although i've been working on it for a while.

i do know that it helps me to avoid mirrors as much as i can. i make myself up to a point of being 'comfortable' rather than basing it on my actual appearance, and then just go through the day knowing i've done what i can. xx

[william wallace]

I am pretty obsessed with looking a certain way.

My friends are all the same but never seem to look ugly - I have alot of "beautiful" friends.

Now I was taking a photo of myself (as you do) and looking at myself in the mirror today and my roots are coming through quite badly, I also realised just how ugly I really am.

Well I dont have a clue what you look like but I'm sure that you're spankin gorgeous:hugs:

[Munki]

I like it William. And I'm sure you're right :)

Thing is, it's so easy to say, 'learn to love yourself' and all that. It's a bit like saying, 'learn to stop stuttering!' These things are very much a part of our lives and although they CAN be overcome, they take a huge amount of work. It's not easy to love yourself and I know very few people that do.

[theharvestmouse]

Loving yourself is just about being happy with how you are as a person, its not just about looks. There are people of all shapes and sizes who are happy with how they look. But its about being happy with the person inside, and that can take time to figure out.

I think most people look in the mirror sometimes and would pick things they want to change, but its when it becomes obsessional that it can take over your life and make you unhappy.

I've seen people completely change though, for examples, watch Gok Wan's programme.

[Haybee]

i know exactly how you feel. my mind changes about the concept of beauty all the time- sometimes i think "looks arent important, why does society reward people just because their genes have happened to combine in a way that is currently considered by society to be attractive"... and so on. and then other times i look at pretty girls and think "gosh i wonder what it's like to wake up and be that person, and look like that". and then there are other times where i feel guilty for thinking that, because frankly i have good health (apart from the anxiety!), my face is at least working and normal and i wasnt born with some kind of serious, uncurable facial defect like some people have to put up with.

i've kind of come to terms that i'm plain (at the very least) and no matter how much makeup i put on, i will always be a 5.5 out of 10 at my very, very best. i would like to be pretty. however, i have a partner who says they think i'm pretty, and most of the time, for me that is enough. at the end of the day i think we are all just brains walking around in jars- some peoples' jars are more attractive than others, but it's the brain behind it that matters, that is actually "us" :)

[william wallace]

i know exactly how you feel. my mind changes about the concept of beauty all the time- sometimes i think "looks arent important, why does society reward people just because their genes have happened to combine in a way that is currently considered by society to be attractive"... and so on. and then other times i look at pretty girls and think "gosh i wonder what it's like to wake up and be that person, and look like that". and then there are other times where i feel guilty for thinking that, because frankly i have good health (apart from the anxiety!), my face is at least working and normal and i wasnt born with some kind of serious, uncurable facial defect like some people have to put up with.

i've kind of come to terms that i'm plain (at the very least) and no matter how much makeup i put on, i will always be a 5.5 out of 10 at my very, very best. i would like to be pretty. however, i have a partner who says they think i'm pretty, and most of the time, for me that is enough. at the end of the day i think we are all just brains walking around in jars- some peoples' jars are more attractive than others, but it's the brain behind it that matters, that is actually "us" :)

After reading the above very honest and frank post, I'll give you a 10:)

[Stormsky]

After reading the above very honest and frank post, I'll give you a 10:)

WW - my hubby tells me im an 11 ! thats good enough for me to feel good!

[william wallace]

Just had a look at your avatar pic and gave you a 12:D

[Stormsky]

Just had a look at your avatar pic and gave you a 12:D
:yesyes: