Help me-dont think i can take it anymore

[chl_hobbs]

Please help me.
I still have this pain inbetween my breasts in my chest and it's driving me so mad that i really dont want to live like this anymore. After all ive been through with the operation going wrong in August, me losing half of my blood and being in intensive care and being told i might not make it and now constant panic attacks and me getting so worked up about the simplest things.. HOW am i meant to live this kind of life?? It's my daughter's 2nd birthday today and all i can do i worry about myself and whether ill be here for her next birthday :weep:

I dont want to be here anymore. I wish i could switch off because HOW am i meant to live this life? This pain between my breasts is so sore and sharp and makes me feel sick. Im convinced im having a heart attack, a blood clot or gallbladder stones or something bad. I can just about cope with abdominal pain (to some extent) because Im used to it after the operation, but CHEST? Why? The dr at a+e on tues did an ecg and a d-dimer test and listened to my chest and all was ok, but im convinced something is seriously wrong. Might go to my gp today, if i can get in, but i know ill leave feeling even worse. It's like i WANT to be in hospital so they can keep an eye on me... but then when im there i get even more anxious.

Please what could this pain be? its inbetween my cleavage in the bone/ribcage in between the breasts and is so sore. It is almost constant and its been on and off until monday, since monday is been constant. My heart rate is 100+ and my BP is around 120/78 (its usually lower for me).

I hate my life right now, when i know i have so much to live for, i just hate my mind and my body.

Charlotte

[Acidomoduso]

Charlotte,

It's is just anxiety and probably residual pain from your Op i expect. You DO have everything to live for, you WILL get over it and it WILL get easier. Anxiety does many a strange thing and you are feeling some of those things. Your BP sounds like the perfect level (120/80 is the optimum BP for a healthy young adult).

I have pain in my chest and ribcage and had x-rays. They said there was nothing there and that my Xiphoid may have damaged some nerves. Could this be the case from your operation? I think it might be. You've had tests that came back clear. ECG is pretty good at finding problems.

If you are going to hate anything, hate your imagination for conjuring up the anxiety and making those symptoms real! Go and hug your family and feel safe with them; protect them and, please, just try and take your mind off it for a while - watch a funny movie or take your little one to a play area.

You'll be fine. :bighug1:

[bottleblond]

Hiya

When we suffer anxiety and panic attacks, we get into this awful habit of not breathing correctly. Rather than breathe into the stomach, we tend to breathe into the chest. This can cause a build up of excess wind which can cause great pain and discomfort. Also our chest muscles work harder with can be painfull too.

For a quick solution you could try some antacids to see if they bring you any relief but i think long term, maybe a counsillor could help with what you have gone through and help you get back on track.

Take care

Lisa

[screwpanic]

Did your local hospital offer you a follow up following your icu admission? I know that some units do offer this and it can be an excellent way for patients to discuss everything they have been through and also check how they are getting on. They will also be able to refer you if problems are ongoing. It can act as a huge boost in terms of physical and psycological support and may help you to move on. Do you feel your problems started as a result of this admission?

[chl_hobbs]

I wish they had, im slowly finding out what happened to me bit by bit as so many people were involved that it's been hard. Plus i wasnt ready to hear some things all at once. For example i only found out that id lost HALF my blood that night. I knew id had 2 blood transfusions but i didnt know how much.

The pain is STILL there, and is spreading all around my back. Its so sharp, almost 'stinging' pain. I went to the gp today (not my usual one but a locum). She was nice, and told me that the d-dimer blood test would be in its thousands if i had a full blown clot in my body. She had a listen and said my chest sounds very clear. She did my sats (98%) and Heart rate was 108...

She thinks its where the ribs and cartillage are rubbing together causing inflammation and pain. Its called Costo... something... She gave me some nexapro to take and said come back if it gets worse. (i hate it when they say that, its like theyre not sure theyve got it right).

Ive taken one and its made little difference. Oh and to add to the anxiety, the pharmacist told me to watch out because nexapro and escitalopram (my anti-depressant) can cause bleeding in the stomach..GREAT.

The gp said she is worried about my mood etc and wants me to come back next week...

So,so low. its like im living each day waiting for the moment SOMETHING bad happens and i die :( Im only 28 and since the op went wrong and he cut my spleen, ive had severe HA since.

[j2]

Charlotte,

I am so very sorry for all the trauma you have had to endure. As a parent and HA sufferer, I know how low one can get when you are consumed by your own fears and then guilt riddled by feeling like a poor parent.

First off, how you are feeling is very common after a traumatic experience. Don't be ashamed, you survived and will eventually be stronger for it. The doctors have ruled out the major worries for your chest pain so please take solace in that. You probably know this but the word hypochondria literally means below below the cartilage in Greek. The ancient Greeks noticed that people who worried, developed chest pain but didn't die. I am not a doctor but I have spent the last 20 years trying to learn about my anxiety and I can tell you that if the doctors are not worried about the chest pain then you should not either. Please don't think I am dismissing you as silly. I truly know the anguish you are going through. In fact I was on the board today to post a concern that only someone with HA could have. I wish I had a silver bullet fix for your problems but I don't. I do yoga, watch funny movies, exercise, play with my kids and pray. Some days are better than others but your life and you have value and meaning. You may have lost your way but try counting your blessing and distracting your mind and of course post here as much as needed because we are here for you and will never judge.

Take care,
J2

[chl_hobbs]

j2 - thankyou so much for your message. It really helps knowing that there are people who are supportive and who understand how im feeling when im so low. Ive been 'ok' for the past two days, but still getting the pain -despite the painkillers. I saw my consultant on friday and he has referred me to a clinical psychologist after what ive been through - it's all been too much obviously.

Thankyou again. xxx

[S.dee]

I get pain there wen im stressed/tense, cz theres muscle between ur ribs x

[lisad1977]

i know how u feel because i suffer this every single day. today i have it and i have numbnessand tingling in left side of body. feel so so sick of balance just like im gona drop down dead or summit. i have 3 kids and i worry every day that im having stroke heart attack or blod clot. its horrible hun. but u not alone here if u need a chat u can email if u like.