The Ultimate Phobia-please help me!!

[ClaireW]

Hello, I am new here but have had health anxiety since a cancer scare 10 years ago. I lost both parents as a teenager, numerous aunts and a sister last year, all to cancer. I also have a sister chronically ill with kidney failure.
I had a rare benign tumour ten years ago which took months to diagnose and in the meantime I suffered a breakdown with anxiety :(
As a result I am terrified of visiting the Dr. for the last 8 months I have had the following: Tinnitus, dizziness, headaches and blurred vision. Also bruising, hives and itching. Managed to get to optician and got glasses but darent go to dr as I know I need referral to either ENT or Neuro ( I used to be a nurse which makes it all far worse)
In addition my husband is being evaluated for heart problems which may jeopardise his job and his mother and sister are both schizophrenic, another thing which terrifies me.
Basically, I am slowly suffocating and cant even pick up the phone to call dr as I am convinced I have a brain tumour. I am at my wits end.
Thank you for listening xxx

[Stormsky]

hi
i am sorry to hear of all your family troubles and for your loss...
Firstly its not your immediate family that suffered schizophrenia, so dont worry about that..unless your are worried your hubby will get it? He would be suffering it by now if he had it, as its starts in youngsters mainly i believe..
As for your current symptons, i get those, caused by anxiety.
Im sure you dont have a brain tumor, but dont be afraid to go to GP, if its the only thing that will reassure you, then go.

[ClaireW]

thank you, Stormsky.
I am actually scared by my schizophrenic in laws as they turn up whenever and say all kinds of stuff in front of my children and I feel threatened by them.
My GP is lovely and has worked extensively with me in terms of my anxiety but I cannot see her for this as I know it warrants referral, I find myself even unable to dial the number. I am just scared of everything as whenever anyone in my family gets something it always ends up being terminal :( I spend all my time trawling symptoms on here :( CYBERCHONDRIA!!!!

[Stormsky]

But surely if you had a brain tumor, youd want to get the referrel ? to find out one way or another?? if you go and you dont have it, then you are reassured and can move on... if you go and you do have it, then you get treatment straight away... So by doing nothing, do you assume that your just going to die soon then? and thats ok? ( i mean as you are convinced you have a tumor that is)

[ClaireW]

I just remember how it was last time, 4 months of tests, scans and xrays being prodded and poked as a rare medical specimen. No one could give me an answer, I had to be referred out of area to a specialist and totally lost my mind. I think I would rather die at home than put myself through that again. I just keep hoping the symptoms will go away.

[Stormsky]

When you say how it was last time, Was the benign tumor you had then in the brain?
I can understand you not wanting to go through those tests... but asked because if it was a different area of your body last time , then the tests would be different for brain tumor?

[ClaireW]

It was above my collar bone but the local hospitals had never seen anything like it (it was a benign Lymph tumour called Cystic Hygroma). I am just such a pessimist that I am almost certain I'll get the answer I fear. The only good thing is that I done get morning headaches nausea or vomiting, my headache comes on during the day but I do get dizzy everyday and constant tinnitus but if I dig about on Google...well I'm sure you know what comes up! Thank you for discussing this with me, I cannot talk to anyone.

[Stormsky]

I have constant tension headaches, probabably every other day at least... tension caused by over thinking and worry and anxiety!
Used to suffer the dizzyness alot too, not so much now though... another anxiety sympton , im sure you know this !!
But like you say your not vomiting and alot of brain tumors involves no headaches..or the opposite , and is constant headache... and you are getting ones coming on during the day, so very doubtful its a tumor...xx