agoraphobic for 30 years

[flossie]

Hello everyone. I have been agoraphobic for over 30 years. I really want to be able to do more with my life and it's time to change things. I'm no longer housebound and can walk for about an hour each day in the neighbourhood as long as I have my dog with me. This has taken 5 years to acheive and is a huge thing for me.
I don't socialise and don't like visitors, no matter how well intentioned they are. They make me feel trapped in my own home.
I also have emetophobia, terrible at this time of year with all the bugs that go around.
I have had help from a psychologist and 2 CPNs in the past, the last about 20 years ago and since then I've been on my own with absolutely no suppport.
I take 20mg Propranolol twice a day for the anxiety.
I hope that as well as learning lots from the forum I may just be able to help one of you one day too.

[diane07]

Hi flossie

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[PanchoGoz]

Hello!
Have you spoken to your doctor recently? Propanalol is fine for panic attacks, but he may put you on something else now that will deal with the anxiety better? You will find a way ot of your agoraphobia one day :)

[flossie]

Thanks for the welcome. I haven't had support from my GP for 14 years. I did phone once but it was made plain I'd picked the wrong time and 'my feelings would pass given time.' Not a lot of help when you can't find the way out of your own muddled head.

[Stormsky]

hi and welcome..
Surely if you are on meds, you must see a doctor, even if its every 6 months for a meds review?

[flossie]

I haven't had a face to face with a GP since 1997 when I was given support after losing my mum. I can't get to the surgery.
18 months ago was the first time I needed a GP visit in all that time and 3 times over a 2 week period I phoned pleading for someone to see me as I was in a lot of pain. The doctor I spoke to made a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis over the phone and said she wanted a blood sample. Because I couldn't get to the hospital I didn't get one until 3 weeks too late when she eventually conceded to asking the community nurse to call. I was made to feel that because I can't get to the surgery then I'm not entitled to the same healthcare as others who can get there.

[william wallace]

Hi Flossie and :welcome:Lots of company for you here darlin, and lots with Aggie Phobia.
See you around the site:)

[pinkdove]

:welcome: to nmp flossie, oh i do feel for you, have you thought of changing your gp, i'm sure there is more help for you if you find a more understanding practice, you have the right to be treated, and not just left to get on with it,

Please think about it, it could just be the turning point , you deserve it. wishing you all the luck, and hope you enjoy your time here, you will get lots of support, and make new friends too :)

[sickandtired]

cannot believe this stupid doctor!!!! surely this requires a home visit?? just beggars belief!!!
you have been left to get on with it....so so wrong!
you are doing so well,acheiving what you have...all on your own........but i think some extra help from your doctor (well a different doctor actually) and you could well be on the way to living a more fullfilling life.
have you ever had any sort of councelling? therapy? other meds apart from propranolol?

[flossie]

Hi. I had counselling from a pyschologist, who did more harm than good. Then 2 CPNs. The first helped me a lot but sadly retired and the following CPN I couldn't form a bond with. Way back in the 80's I was prescribed Anafranil and then Ativan. I have been taking the Propranolol for about18 years.

[keta]

Hi Flossie
Welcome, i'm also agoraphobic but not in as bad situation as you, i hope you find lots of support on here.

[flossie]

Thank you.

[doodah]

Hello there flossie,

Just read your introduction and it could have been me typing! I've been agoraphobic for over 30 years too and have been muddling along without medical support for about 2 or 3 years now. I've developed a sort of health anxiety over the past few years (probably from being my elderly mum's carer until she died in June); I only go to the doctors for a thyroid blood test every 6 months.

I'm hoping you're doing okay - even though I've had this condition for far, far too long, I still haven't given up, and hope you haven't either!

Take care,

Wendy:hugs:

[little wren]

Hi flossie

I think you are doing really well - taking your dog out for an hour. At least you have some 'outdoor' time. He/she seems a real help to you. If your last help was 20 years ago surely you are entitled to ask for help again now. A lot of stuff happens in 20 years and even if it didn't work then (although you say your first cpn was helpful) it seems you are ready to make changes now. Just a thought, you say you don't socialise, but I was thinking because you have a dog you feel comfortable with could you combine the dog with a means to socialise e.g. agility or dog training or something where you already have a common starting point with the people present. x

[tjp]

Hi, ive been agrophobic for 24yrs and i too dont find my docs much help. Ive been taking fluoxetine for atleast 10yrs. I just ask for repeat perscription every 4 weeks. No questions asked. Its rubbish. I do have my hubby who is great but he cant really understand it. I too really hope to find help on here. Xxx

[dally]

Hi, I too am agaraphobic. Started 30 years ago with panic attacks which lead to further and further isolation in my home. However, in the last two years I have had help from my local Occupational Therapist, and am now travelling on a 15 min train journey having a cup of tea in a cafe and returning myself on the train. This was built up gradually, and when the "outing" was first suggested, I totally panicked. I even genuinly wanted to give up the therapy, but after a week of hopelessness, crying and lots of "but what ifs" I forced myself to do the "travelling"

I took a 4 mg of valium and some rescue remedy and had a terrrible frightening time!!
but I repeated this horrible outing about 6 or 7 times with the OT until it became less terrifying. and gradually, I didnt need the Valium. I would even say that on some days I even enjoy the journeys.

However, as part of my "therapy" as soon as I am comfortable with one stage, the OT "suggests" another activity/outing which forces me out of my newly acquired comfort zone and extends my horizons. each new stage is horrifyingly scary, but I just do it.

I am so angry that I wasnt given this help 30 years ago, and I might have had a "liFe"
instead of being shut up in a house 24/7!!!

So my advice to anyone is please dont think you are condemned to agraphobia, you CAN get help and get better!!