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[SickOfThis]

Hi everyone

I'm new to forums but thought it might provide me with some extra support.
I am in my final year at university and am not doing good academically and mentally at the moment. My family has fallen appart (My mum sold the family home and has gone traveling with her new boyfriend and my dad is doing his own thing) after my parents split up about 4 years ago. I am not doing well at university either.

A few years ago I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist as having major depression and a year later got borderline added to that. I am not currently seeing a psych but I see a counsellor who is very helpful. I was put on 60mg of citalopram back then which really helped but went cold turkey and here I am now...relapsed and back on citalopram (20mg)

Last week I self harmed really badly and could see the tissue in my arm. Its healing nicely now but will probably be a nasty scar. I've been trying to get an appointment to see my gp but shes really popular so its a nightmare.

Anyway Im not doing well at the moment and having a lot of trouble with life.

Thanks for reading.

[diane07]

Hi SickOfThis

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[bignik]

Hi sorry to hear your not doing so good , re the self harm whilst appreciating perhaps a form of release , please dont try fall into this trapped mindset , it can be very difficult one to get out of. Perhaps attending A&E and asking to speak to someone from their mental health team would help you in your crisis moment. Alternatively explain to GP recepyionist you need urgent appointment , my GP if I call any morning will automatically see me before noon , hes very good , normally its 3 weeks for an appointment , taking your fears of deteriotation and last weeks incident they will take you seriously.

Meanwhile search the forum Im sure you will find some good advice or very least understand your not alone in your depression. Secret to success is be open and honest . its the only way to find the solution.

regards nick

[will this end]

morning.
like yourself i am new to this forum,dont really know what to expect.but willtry anything once.sorry to hear your situation its the worst feeling in the world isnt it? all i can say is try be positive i know its hard! talk to people if you can you are not on your own in this. any advice on citalopram? dave.

[becksi2006]

Hi Dave and "sick of this", I'm Hayley, I am currently on citalopram 30mg reduced from 40mg yesterday, I was the same as you just before xmas although I didnt self harm, as I was feeling so unwell both mentally and physically I took myself to A&E and was assessed there and put in touch with the mental health crisis team,they were really good and managed to stabilise my meds and perscribed others for the aggitation and thoughts, please go and get checked out and hopefully they can get you back on the right track. As for the citalopram I havent had any issues with it apart from when i was on 40mg i was possibly having too much, the side effects were a little unpleasant at first but did pass, the only thing is they seemed to take a few weeks to feel any effect which is normal anyway, like i say the crisis team can arrange for other meds to help until the citalopram starts to kick in. Hope this helps and look forward to hearing back from you x

[LAURA48]

Hi to you all - Hayley - would you mind telling me was meds you are on - I am on a rocky road at the moment - especially agitation - thanks Laura - ps hope you are feeling a tad better - Laura x

[becksi2006]

Hiya Laura, I am on the citalopram 30mg tablets, Promazine liquid 50mg 3 times daily and just been perscribed diazepam as and when required up to 3 times daily as I have had a really bad week, I am feeling a little better today but I just take it hour by hour lately. I really hope you are feeling better soon hun, its a horrible road to be going down, let me know if I can help at all xx

---------- Post added at 08:57 ---------- Previous post was at 08:56 ----------

Laura the Promazine is specific for aggitation xx

[LAURA48]

Hi Hayley - thanks for that - I am on Lorazepam 1mg - but when that agitation creeps on - well - my Dr put me on it in the early 80s when I was bullied at work - not much was spoke about it then but have never got away - my Dr now - said that I cannot increase it! You get desperate don't you - I did before Xmas Dr put me on 40mg Prozac - well - horrific! was normally on 20mg which had served me well for 15 years but had a bereavement in Oct and got breakthrough depression - which was natural I suppose - I don't think people understand that awful agitation and so the thoughts come along - damned horrible! Thanks Hayley - feeling alittle apprehensive as starting Prozac 20mg tomorrow after feeling as flat as a pancake on Mirtazapine - speak to you soon Luv Laura x

[becksi2006]

Glad I could be of some help to you Laura, anything is worth a try! I hope you get the help that you deserve its not fair to suffer like this, please keep in touch and dont be afraid to ask xx

[LAURA48]

Thanks Hayley - you poor thing you have been through it - bless you x This is a useful site - as I am sure people do not know how to go about things. Hopefully things won't get that bad - do you feel alot better now? Laura

[becksi2006]

I feel so much better than I did, but I know I have a hell of a way to go, the main thing is I am getting the help that I need and never in a million years would I wish this on my worst enemy! I have been reading other peoples posts and its as if I have written them, its a very difficult thing to deal with but we will all get there in the end, I just wish I had been diagnosed sooner so it hadnt got to the stage it did but hopefully I will learn to recognise if I am getting too far pulled down, my mood is still quite low and the aggitation and worrying thoughts are all still there but my meds do dampen them so they are easier to cope with, hopefully my therapy will have a positive effect on me when I start that on tuesday xx

[SickOfThis]

Thanks for the replies :)
To everyone who wants advice on citalopram...
A couple of years ago I started it after a failed attempt on fluoxetine and after a few months, and gradually increased it to 60mg, I felt amazing. It was a very high dose but it was the one that worked for me. Other people stop at lower ones but it depends on the person. I can't remember the side effects I had the first time but since starting back on them a few weeks ago I have had some. More anxiety (Ironic really), loss of appetite, loss of libido and jaw clenching. To be honest the worst one was the jaw clenching because its more of a physical affect, and i can cope better with the mental ones. Although these are my side effects, you may not have the same so try not to worry. Just think that it will be of benefit in the end.

Although im in a tough place at the moment, knowing these things makes it easier for me.

If you have any more questions on it just ask!
x