Terrible anxiety

[Fedex]

Hey I'm fedex! I'm an 18 year old male! I was diagnosed with depression 6 months ago and have been on celexa (citralopram) forb5 months! The reason I went on the meds was due to unwanted gay thoughts! I have been going to cbt and these thoughts have got a lot better! I have been with my gf for 10 months through all the hard times and she is great!
Recently however I have begun to panic that I can't remember her or picture her when shes away from me! She's up at uni and only home at the weekends! When's she with me it's ok cos I can see her!
The thing is if I forgot or couldn't picture a family member or friend I wouldnt worry however it's a real stress when I can't picture or Remember my gf! I then question my love for her etc! :(
The mess have also given me terrible dreams like violent dreams and dreams that I might cheat on my gf! I'm scared of this! What do you think the problem is? Pls anyone reply with any advice or answers ASAP! Thanks

[Horse]

Speaking as someone who has suffered from Anxiety for over 45 years, I can assure you Fedex that these symptoms you are experiencing are quite typical.

I think you may find that many 18 year old heterosexual guys will experience 'gay thoughts' (although they won't probably openly admit it).

It would appear to me that you are suffering from nothing more than the 'What if' syndrome.

I'm not a Doctor but in all my ignorance, I would question being prescribed medication for getting thoughts about relationships with members of the same sex, but as I said, I'm not a GP.

Have you not considered that you may be experiencing some degree of Separation Anxiety when you are apart from your girlfriend? Which is also a form of insecurity.

Remember that Anxiety will hit you where it will hurt most, and confusion and lack of concentration play a big part in one of its weapons.

Your fear that you may cheat on your girlfriend would probably also be due to the 'What ifs.'

Don't forget, it's easy to panic when you're panicking!!!

Horse.

[LAURA48]

Hi Fedex - you poor thing - what you are suffering is bad anxiety and it's horrible. Can you speak to your GP about this - as think you should be on some medication for it to calm you down a bit - keep posting as someone more experienced than me can help. Have you spoken to your mum and dad or gran, etc, but they sould purely thoughts of anxiety and frightening you. God bless Laura x

[Fedex]

Thanks horse and Laura! That has comforted me a bit! It's not nice at all! Very confusing and scary!

ANY MORE ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT THANKS

[Stormsky]

Fedex, you keep reposting the same thread over and over... perhaps youd get more replies if you changed what it is your asking...
people can only answer the same question so many times..

[sjp]

Hello, I suffer from panic disorder& write my diary on a blog called confessions of panic disorder . blogspot . com :) without the spaces. I have been on medication such as citalopram, fluxotine, propanolol and now go to counselling. I write the diary so that other sufferers of panic do not feel alone&can see someone else's personal journey through treatment and life. I hope this is helpful to you! xxx