keta
04-02-12, 19:02
sorry everyone I just need to off load tonight, i feel like i'm in relationship which just brings me pain most of the time. Today is one of them days. My BF works away during the week so we only get to see each other at the weekend and in the beginning i really felt he was just using me for one thing hence we broke up few times. But he always begged me back saying that he loves me and doesn't want to be without me. We had major fall out at Xmas but since then he tried harder to come and see me every weekend. (He also lives hour drive away from me) Last night he went out with his friends and he does goes on some Fridays for few i know blokes just need that kind of thing, but today he rang and told me his friends wants to go to IOW for some birthday celebration, i got upset about it as i suffer with anxiety and some agoraphobia and i couldn't cope with a boat trip right now so i get depressed and upset about it as i wish i could come with them at times, never the less he said he will come and see me tonight as it was just a day trip, got phone call this evening that he had too much to drink and can't drive to see me now which ended in me being in floods of tears. I feel like i'm wasting my time now with him I don't feel like he cares that much, he says he does but i feel like his friends and drinking take first place in his life. I just feel rubbish about the whole thing . Am i just being deluded about him?