Arousal problems

[PanickyPolly]

I suppose this could apply to either men or women but I'm a woman so if any of you ladies have or ever had this probem would love to hear from you.

For as long as I can remember i've never had a real sex life. Sex is always uninteresting and uncomfortable because I can't get aroused. I desire sex but my body doesn't respond. I feel the odd twinge but that's it. I'm sure it must be the anxiety that's doing it. The only time I've ever felt aroused is in a dream.

[clickaway]

Hi Polly,

This problem is shared between both sexes, and one that I can relate to.

You are probably not relaxed enough in the first place, but maybe there is a psychological problem also in that your anxiety and the thought of your anxiety is preventing arousal. Maybe something deeper?

Have you an understanding partner and have you considered going to a counsellor or sex therapist?

Take Care,

Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[Two heads]

Hi polly!Have you thought may be its the citalopram your taking, as ive always had a high sex drive but have been taking meds for 3months and its gone!Just a thoughtxxx

[PanickyPolly]

Hi Bong and Click (lol what a pair of names :D)

Could be something deeper Click (Ray) indeed. Luckily my partner is very understanding and says he's not withme for sex aloneso that's ok but I don't feel like I'm functioning properly which I'm not. It's horrible. Am seeing a counsellor but just feel too embarassed to bring it up to her really.[:I]

Not Citalopram Bong as the problem existed before I started taking it also I do still have a strong desire for sex. So am feeling very :(

[PanickyPolly]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hi Polly,

This problem is shared between both sexes, and one that I can relate to.

You are probably not relaxed enough in the first place, but maybe there is a psychological problem also in that your anxiety and the thought of your anxiety is preventing arousal. Maybe something deeper?

Have you an understanding partner and have you considered going to a counsellor or sex therapist?

Take Care,

Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers


<div align="right">Originally posted by clickaway - 18 June 2006 : 15:53:47</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Ray can I just ask when and for how long you had that problem and how you got over it? Sometimes I feel liek I never willa nd it's taking over my life.

[PanickyPolly]

You telling me out of the 107 people you have read this only one has had the same problems as me?

[Phill2]

Hi Polly
I developed the same prob when my anxiety started and it got worse on meds.
I'm still quite capable but just not interested. It takes a LOT to get me in the mood and even then I can't say it's anywhere near as enjoyable as it used to be.
You are definately NOT alone
Phill

Don't believe everything you think.

[PanickyPolly]

Nobody seems to get what i'm talking about here. I don't have problems with my sex drive. I have a very hight sex drive and not a day goes by when I don't want it. Trouble is I can't do it as I'm not physically aroused. Surely someone out of teh hundred and odd poeple that have read this post has experienced this?

[PanickyPolly]

I told her!!! I spoke to my councellor about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! It wasn't so bad! She didn't get embarassed and neither did I. It wasn't easy but I did it! I sort of built up to it. Hopefully ths is the strat of healing for me so I can be a fulfilled human being.

[Eclipse]

Have only just become aware of this thread so, to me, all the posts ran like a mini soap........
AND THANK GOD I WAS THERE FOR THE HAPPY ENDING & DIDN'T MISS AN EPISODE!!!!!!!!:D:D:D
I'm really glad you've got it sorted and that your latest post is such a happy one!
Good on you girl!!;)
B Wolf
XX

[PanickyPolly]

LOL...there's not been a happy ending yet..I'm still yet to experience a real 'session' in all it's glory but hopefully I've turned the corner today :)

[ISABELLE]

Hi PanickyPolly

My name is Isabelle and I've had problems all my adult life as I was damaged at the age of 7.

Counselling was the first thing I did and just talking about it was extremely helpful.

I also take anti-depressants and I feel that this has an affect on my personal life.[:I]

I believe it is a psychological problem and you must keep talking through all your memories, thoughts and feelings to your trusted counsellor,believe me it does work.

It does take time but with continued effort and letting go of your past hurts you will heal.

Writing a journal is also useful as is talking into a Camcorder when you are on your own.

My thoughts are with you and keep up the good work.

Keep going forward and keep me posted.

Isabelle xxx

[PanickyPolly]

Thanks Isabelle. Sorry to hear you've had problems too. It's horrible that people can do stuff to us either emotionally or physically and it effect our whole life. We have the right to be loved and feel happy yet we can't. Well maybe we will one day. It's such a simple, basic need that we can't even achieve. So many people are out there taking for granted that they can feel what we can't. Also I think it doesn't help that there is so much ignorance about female sexuality and a woman's sexual response cycle STILL. It's like the dark ages. I spoke to a so called sex therapist online and even she didn't know that a woman's bit's need to get bigger inorder for her to have sex. It's shocking...so many ppl don't know that a woman when she's aroused reacts in the same way a man does...it's the same priciple I mean. But most people think it's all about lubrication. Sorry don't want to get too graphic but I think we're all adults on here and I'm just so incensed about the lack of knowledge of female anatomy.

It's so unfair and degrading that we're in this situation. I hope you get better Isabelle. If you ever want to PM me feel free xxx

[PanickyPolly]

this is strange...I dreamed I got aroused again lst night and Im sure I really did but this time it hurt and actually gavw me stomach ache!

[PanickyPolly]

Well it hapenned again! This time I didn't get stomach/uterus ache.