When to help?

[MargaretHale]

I've been suffering for two years with Anxiety which turned into Agoraphobia and I've always hated anyone making a fuss, 'are you alright...breathe into a bag' etc etc...

But last week as part of my recovery I braved a trip out with my parter to an auction. As we were looking around the items outside I noticed a lady who was very obviously distressed. She was quite young (20s) and had a child with her. She walked away from the crowds and was hyperventilating. It was fairly obvious to me that she was having some sort of panic attack or anxiety. I watched to see if she was alone, and she seemed to be except for a toddler in a pushchair. After some minutes she didn't seem to be any better and had sunk onto the floor sobbing.

Despite me hating fuss, I felt that I couldnt leave her alone and walked over to her. At first she was embarrassed, but then she grabbed my hand and said that she suffered from social anxiety. I told her that I had agoraphobia and anxiety and asked if she wanted anything. My other half got her a bottle of water and we stayed with her.

How do you feel about people helping? To be honest, when I panic I want to be left alone, but my other half makes me chat about stuff to take my mind off it..it annoys me, but it works. :mad:

I'd love to know what you think.

MH x

[thebe]

some people like the help, in away you distraced her from her fear and it also helps to know that someone understands, my daughter has anxiety like me and likes to be alone, where as i dont, believe me, o think in that instance you are what thet woman needed at that time IMO
T x

[snowgoose]

Hi Margaret :)

I think as we are sensitive people, that we know instinctively if support is welcomed or not. we KNOW .

That was so kind of you to help that young mum .....She will never forget that kindness and gentle useful support . She reached out to you . I guess we all get embarrassed dont we ?

I have gone up to strangers before who look ill and have never been knocked back .......but realise that it may well happen of course . If ill outside on your own it is terrifying no matter if psychological or physical . I would want some kind person to look out for me . At home like you peace and no fuss is the best .

Funny enough the one time I was alone and feeling as if the ground was coming up to meet me was in an auction house !
I was sat on the stairs reeling ....and two kind ladies stopped and asked if I was ok with such concern on their faces ........I have never forgotten them .
it kind of made me realise that there is always someone who will help if panicky and ill and alone . if you believed the papers no one would care .
You helped that mum and child so much ......made a difference .
:hugs:

[Lost_L]

Hi Margaret,

That was such a kind thing to do.

I'm like you in some respects, if I am in my own home and panicking or feeling anxious I need space to calm down. It's also the same if I am in the car on the way out and I am feeling anxious, I need no noise/music just silence and a few minutes to try and relax. However, one of my major fears is going out, alone especially. The main thing that scares me is if something was to happen to me or I was feeling ill and no one helped me. If I was feeling this way and a kind person approached me it would be a big help/relief.

You did a good thing, it's comforting to know that there are people about who will act in that way. I would like to think I would!

x

[MargaretHale]

Thanks for the replies, it was difficult to decide, purely based on my own preferences.

I guess it's like this place, some times I just pop on to make sure I'm not alone and not totally nutty.

:D

[haz]

I think you did the right thing on this occasion. The woman was clearly distressed and had a young child with her. You acted on a "takes one to know one" basis and the fact that you could identify with this woman's feelings would have been a great comfort to her.

I bet she thinks you were a godsend and is praising you to everyone she knows right now.

Good for you!

Haz.x

[speckles69uk]

A few months ago when I had a really bad panic attack in the middle of the city centre, nobody stopped to help. At the time I didn't know I had a panic disorder and thought I was dying and felt all alone in what I was experiencing. All I wanted at that time was for somebody like yourself to help me.

When I have them now, I know what they are and feel like I should be alone as I get embarrassed, but part of me does want people to be around, it reassures me and makes me feel safer if that makes sense.

I totally understand what you meant with the whole chatting thing, my partner does it too to try and distract me, sometimes it works, but it often annoys me and all I want is quiet as I can't focus on any conversation.

[MargaretHale]

I'm glad its not just me. Sometimes I want to say 'oh stop bloody waffling!' but he's been such a rock and I love him to bits, so I just grunt!

:D