When alone

[thebe]

in some situations i can cope alone with the kids and in some others i cant, my husband is now working about 46 miles away from home and leaves at 6am from the moment hes gone toi getting the kids up dressed and ready for school, i simply justt cant do it unless ive got my eldest daughter whos 20 to rely on (she doesnt live with me) she doesnt have to be up and around, simply by just being in the same house suffices
if my husband is working in the city i dont need my daughter here with me, he can come home within say 10 minutes
why is my anxiety and panic attacks reinventing themselves in this way?
T :(

[Stormsky]

Its just your fears of what might happen that keeps the anx/panic alive...
When your hubby was 10 minutes away, you knew IF you couldnt cope that you had help within 10mins.... but its the fear that he is now an hour away that causes new fear and anx.... the more you tell yourself you cant cope, the more you wont be able to cope!
im sure you actually cope every day without having to call him, even when he was 10mins away...
if you fear something, then you live the fear all the time..
whats to be afraid of? you need to break the cycle...
I used to get in a right state being alone, but not anymore, my hubby goes away for days on business, and i am alone, just 2 dogs... but we are never completely alone, you can phone people, there are neighbours etc...

[thebe]

its fear of having an anxiety attack and not been able to come out of it and rendering me useless to see to things, kids school run etc..
t :(

[Stormsky]

Like i said its your fear of it that keeps it alive... while you are afraid , it will never go.
How many times have you actually been rendered useless though? im sure you manage every morning in doing what you have to..
When you are busy in the morning, you probably find you actually dont have time to panic...
The thing with panic attacks is, you have an attack and THEN you panic...you cant stop an attack, but you can choose not to panic... an attack being when you start to feel anxious, heart racing.... at that point if you start saying what if im going to pass out, what if im going to lose controll...etc... its the what ifs that start the adrenaline, and lead to full panic...without adrenaline you cant panic....
If i have an attack, i just say yeah whatever, not bothered, you cant hurt me....and it just dies off... I havent had a panic attack in years.... i get the odd attack but i never panic.

[thebe]

thanx stormskie, you are 100% right, im going to do this cbt thing adverised on here, im sure the affirmations of what youi have said and what they say should help this Fear of fear i have
T X :)