Lost_L
09-02-12, 16:29
Hey all,
I'm due back to see the GP tomorrow to discuss medication and if I feel that it's the step I want to take. I've been on the fence since my appointment two weeks ago, weighing up all my options.
Yesterday I felt really good, I managed to overcome a 'turn' in a supermarket and carry on with my shopping (would normally just give up) and also it turned out that my libido may have returned briefly (something that has been lost with all the negativity and anxiety I've experienced recently!) However, I got up this morning to a not so good day! Really bad sleep (constant nightmares and shouting out in my sleep, was terrified and just wanted morning to come). I felt more down and less motivated than I had in a while, think the impending GP appointment might have something to do with it. Not being bothered to do anything I knew I'd have to so I turned on my laptop to do some research for a uni essay and it died. I've lost links to important documents, uni work and research as I hadn't backed up for a couple of weeks. With a dissertation to write and various other essays to do it felt like the end of the world and the tears started. I know it sounds silly but when it's a bad day everything is a disaster. The silliest bit is I can still use my boyfriends laptop so it's not like I'm completely without.
All this stress also caused my IBS to appear with a vengence like I haven't seen in a while.
Anyway, sorry for waffling! The thing that I think I've learnt from today and the difference between my past two days is that I probably do need the medication, I can't go on with this up and down (mainly down) life. I need something to help me move on to a better place. It just so happens that it's taken until the day before my appointment to totally realise this.
I'm due back to see the GP tomorrow to discuss medication and if I feel that it's the step I want to take. I've been on the fence since my appointment two weeks ago, weighing up all my options.
Yesterday I felt really good, I managed to overcome a 'turn' in a supermarket and carry on with my shopping (would normally just give up) and also it turned out that my libido may have returned briefly (something that has been lost with all the negativity and anxiety I've experienced recently!) However, I got up this morning to a not so good day! Really bad sleep (constant nightmares and shouting out in my sleep, was terrified and just wanted morning to come). I felt more down and less motivated than I had in a while, think the impending GP appointment might have something to do with it. Not being bothered to do anything I knew I'd have to so I turned on my laptop to do some research for a uni essay and it died. I've lost links to important documents, uni work and research as I hadn't backed up for a couple of weeks. With a dissertation to write and various other essays to do it felt like the end of the world and the tears started. I know it sounds silly but when it's a bad day everything is a disaster. The silliest bit is I can still use my boyfriends laptop so it's not like I'm completely without.
All this stress also caused my IBS to appear with a vengence like I haven't seen in a while.
Anyway, sorry for waffling! The thing that I think I've learnt from today and the difference between my past two days is that I probably do need the medication, I can't go on with this up and down (mainly down) life. I need something to help me move on to a better place. It just so happens that it's taken until the day before my appointment to totally realise this.