Bad day: coincidence?

[Lost_L]

Hey all,

I'm due back to see the GP tomorrow to discuss medication and if I feel that it's the step I want to take. I've been on the fence since my appointment two weeks ago, weighing up all my options.

Yesterday I felt really good, I managed to overcome a 'turn' in a supermarket and carry on with my shopping (would normally just give up) and also it turned out that my libido may have returned briefly (something that has been lost with all the negativity and anxiety I've experienced recently!) However, I got up this morning to a not so good day! Really bad sleep (constant nightmares and shouting out in my sleep, was terrified and just wanted morning to come). I felt more down and less motivated than I had in a while, think the impending GP appointment might have something to do with it. Not being bothered to do anything I knew I'd have to so I turned on my laptop to do some research for a uni essay and it died. I've lost links to important documents, uni work and research as I hadn't backed up for a couple of weeks. With a dissertation to write and various other essays to do it felt like the end of the world and the tears started. I know it sounds silly but when it's a bad day everything is a disaster. The silliest bit is I can still use my boyfriends laptop so it's not like I'm completely without.
All this stress also caused my IBS to appear with a vengence like I haven't seen in a while.

Anyway, sorry for waffling! The thing that I think I've learnt from today and the difference between my past two days is that I probably do need the medication, I can't go on with this up and down (mainly down) life. I need something to help me move on to a better place. It just so happens that it's taken until the day before my appointment to totally realise this.

[Stormsky]

hi
if you feel medication is the way to go, then you should try it.
I was on meds for 9yrs, been off them 6 months, and whilst im not better, im glad to be off them... i never felt that well on them ! and they only mask problem, dont cure it, so when you come off, you can be back at square one... so i decided to tackle this without meds... i have good and bad days... we all do...
Im glad youve come to a decision and good luck.x

[flossie]

Hi Lost L. Just an idea here - keep a diary of when you feel OK and can cope with going to the supermarket and you fancy a bit of hanky panky. Then note when you go straight back to feeling down in the dumps, have more trouble with your tum. I'm wondering if maybe you are having hormone swings.
I was like that, a short time on a high and then a couple of weeks really down, upset stomach and always on the verge of tears. It is incredibly draining on your emotions.
It might be something to mention to your GP and keep in mind.
Good luck tomorrow and with your essay.

[Lost_L]

Thank you both for your advice.

Stormsky - that's one of the things that worries me about tablets, coming off them! I'm going to be having therapy as well so hopefully this will help ease everything for when I do stop them in the future. Got a lot going on in the next few months with graduating uni and having to find myself a career so I just need to get in a better place to achieve this, even if it isn't forever!

Flossie - that's a good idea, thanks! It might help with motivation too. If I could look back and remember a day when I felt good/achieved something!

[mmb]

Hi Lost L,
I know exactly how you feel!! Taking or not the medication is a big thing for me!! On my good days I think I can do this without the meds but not long the bad days come and I feel stuck and desperate and willing to give the meds another go... people say you have to be patience with the meds but I find really hard and I'm also very scared about being stuck with them... all the "what ifs" come to mind: what if they don't work, what if they are not enough, what if I have to keep upping my dose, what if I can't exist without them!!!!! Argh, it drives me insane!! But I'm also tired and sad most of the time... sorry I can't be of much help, just wanted to say that I feel the same as you and I hope you can find your solution and move forward :) Good luck !!!

[Stormsky]

I did CBT and to be honest didnt get much out of it...
Without meds for 6 months now this is what ive been doing....
I take Jarrows B Right Vits... a high quality strength vit b complex...
drink lots water too.... But the biggest thing you have to do, is POSITIVE thought statements...mine are automatic now, i dont have to try and come up with one...as soon as i get any sympton or negatives thoughts, i automatically have positive statements that just pop in... I distract myself by doing anything , cleaning, ironing...whatever it takes.... but to be honest although i have bad and good days, even the bad days are only say a couple of negative things in a day, i dont feel bad all day....but thats because the positive statements work.... i mean we've been telling ourselves we are ill, we are losing it, we wont ever be better, believing the scary stuff... and how does that make us feel?? yes rubbish, and we get panic.... so it stands to reason if i tell myself, i am happy, its just anx, theres nothing wrong with me, i am calm, i goiing to have a great day...then i get the feelings that those thoughts bring!!! simple, but hard i know!!!! even when your mind answers back and says 'yer right who you fooling' i just again ignore that and keep with the positives!!