Here I am again - about to go on holiday

[panicdiva]

As many of you know I have been nervous about my upcoming holiday. Well now it is only 12 days away & since Sat. I have been feeling awful!!! The depression & anxiety have hit me hard!! I have been tearful, have pains in my chest, in my stomach & numbness in my gums. I have been walking around in a daze, can hardly eat, been going to the toilet all the time!!! All the usual suspects!!! I feel like I will never be ok again.

I feel like I am completely back to square one!!! Every single time I go on holiday I am like this - & the times that I fly to America are the worst yet. Last Easter, I was like this too & I swore I would never, ever put myself through this again. But no, here I am again!!!! I have been getting Reiki Healing, Hypnotherapy & have read all the books again - but no, even though I was feeling quite positive, no, here I am again, in the same state that I always get myself into. I just cannot turn the what ifs off, the what ifs on the plane & on the holiday. The fear & anxiety have engulfed me yet again. I feel so weak because I am allowing myself to be engulfed. I know all the sayings : panic can't hurt you, you will cope, blah blah blah - I just am not able to believe them - why? why? why? why?

Flashes of being trapped on that plane keep coming up - I do send them away - yet I still feel great anxiety. I keep doing what Dark Angel said & try to switch the thought around & say out loud that I am really excited about the flight - I look at my list about all the positive's about going on holiday. I read this forum, I even pray - yet for 3 days now I have been feeling like hell, & I am losing sleep which does not help either.

I did get diazapam from Dr. (2mg tabs) but have not taken one yet for fear that I will have a panic attack.

I have been taking my rescue remedy & herbal tabs. but yet I am still like this.

I have even said to myself - right - this is the last time you go away on a flight - you just cannot go through this everytime - I say this so that I can feel better & to make myself go through with it (which I know I will - staying at home would be worse than having to go through it). Yet - the fear of freaking out & losing it on the plane is still sooooooooooo scary.

I just needed to get all of this of my chest to others who know exactly what I am talking about. Thanks for reading.

[Wannabeloved85]

I feel for you hun, i really do. its a little {little!} like my position of having to go out for my small walks, but cant/wont due to this 'monster' anxiety.
Instead of reading your positive list, have you tried writing a new one? sometimes it helps to just refresh the thoughts and start again. Have you tried challenging your thoughts on paper? like the ones you get from a therapist. Maybe write a list of the positives you experienced the last time you went?
I really wish i could come up with a great idea that would just send the anxiety spirraling out into space,never to return!
Weird you mentioned the gums thing, ive had gum pain all day! sure theyre swoellen, i think my wisdom teeth are still pushing through and pushing my other teeth forward!
Have you tried relaxation cd's? i have one i listen to all the time, theres a certain track i have on my mp3 player, cos it just gets me calm and all cosy! i went a bit mad buying relaxation cds. got a lovely box set called relaxation and healing :).
Hope ive helped just a little bit.
Becci x

[Keitharcher]

Hi

Sorry to hear you are in such a state over the holiday, have you tried to turn it around the other way, instead of looking with dread at what is coming, try looking with enthusiasum and longing, Just think of the good times you will have, the plane ride will like floating on a cloud being whisked away to your destination. all the fun and interesting things you wioll do once you get there. I would suspect that if you can turn your thinking around this way you will soon be itching to go on holiday. Hope things work out for you


Keith

[tamla]

hi hun i just want to say wot your going thru now i felt the same way a couple of months ago i went away with a few friends to spain and just like u i got myself in a terrible statr before i went i really didnt want to go and i was so anxious i just didnt want to go anyway i did go and ive got to say it was fine but ive got to admit i couldnt wait to come home i really got myself in such a state i was convinced i was goina loose control and go crazy while i was out ther anyway all i can say is go for it yes you might feel anxious but at the end of the day there only thoughts not nice ones i no but take it from me your safe and nothink is goina happen your goina go and enjoy yourself by the pool and them awful thoughts can be put on hold until you come home your in control i didnt think i was but its three months sinse my hols and guess wot im still here anxiety is a terrible thing and yes it interfers with are everyay life just think theres thousand like us we just think that nobody in the world can possibly feel like the way u do just go with the flow and when your on that plane just think wot ive told u it will be fine and you will to.just let us all no how your hols went and i bet u say it was great just have a good time and remember we,ve all been there x