msadmn
12-02-12, 21:31
basically ive had a really horrible past 2 years due to my father dying of esophogeal cancer at 52, then i had to contest his will. these last few months ive had this unshakable feeling something isnt right, at first i thought i had lung pain/pleurisy and had a chest xray at a and e which they said was normal. i tried to ignore the pain which they said was muscular and it has mostly gone
But then i started getting a stabbing pain on and off around the front of my neck. the anxiety built up and up until i went to the out of hours doc. he felt my neck and said it felt fine throat a little red but but to go see the gp ( i wasnt registered as i had just moved ) he said my anxiety was really a problem and i needed to deal with my bereavement and get help asap
the next day i went to the drs and got some diazepam and mentioned my neck to the drs. she also checked my neck and my throat declated me fine but offered an ultrasound to make me feel better
i have private health so went the next day. the scan showed enlarged lymph nodes and a multinodular goitre, with 2 dominant nodules, 2cm and 1cm. he also tested my thyroid levels. They came back normal but he also mentioned some things were " a little high " but didnt say what. but he said i dont have any inflammation in my body and my thyroid is normal. however normal isnt good in this case because toxic goitres are almost never cancerous. cancerous nodules are normally euthyroid. So the endo recommended i go straight to biopsy and also meet with an ent surgeon next week so he can check everything else.
after spending 2 days dropping my bndle and googling furiously, i am kind of ok about thyroid cancer, its kind of treatable, and i shold be ok, even if they remove my thyroid.
however then i looked with a torch down my throat as ive felt one of my tonsols was biggee than the other. and it looks different, its lumpy while the other one is smooth. more googling and i cant find anything to make me feel better. i do smoke ( i did quit for a while ) and i plan to give up again but its a real crutch for my anxiety. i also have a scratchy back of my tongue/throat but my tonsils arent sore. im also getting freqent headaches and ive eaten hardly nothing since this all started with the ultrasond and stuff.
im taking 3x diazepam a day (2mg) and some days i am ok and i dont need it, other times i am double-dropping.
i just feel like something is wrong and has been with my health for a while. i should be happy and planning my future as i got paid my inheritance the day this all kicked off. but it all feels wrong and really i was going through the motions. other than paying my debts i havent touched the money. could this be depression?
ive also had sinus pressure for the past few weeks, i can breathe fine, tho i am sometimes swallowing a little bit of snot, none comes out of my nose. when i lay down the pressure is worse and i can feel the gunk move from one side to the other when i am asleep.
Also when i am almost asleep, i wake up with a big gasp and my heart goes fast. ive had palpitations for years but mostly have learned to live with them. i have a diazepam nearby if its really bad.
the anxiety goes in peaks and troughs... sometimes i just feel like i want to crawl out of my own skin asap and my body is dying.
has anyone been through this kind of health anxiety and reassure me?
But then i started getting a stabbing pain on and off around the front of my neck. the anxiety built up and up until i went to the out of hours doc. he felt my neck and said it felt fine throat a little red but but to go see the gp ( i wasnt registered as i had just moved ) he said my anxiety was really a problem and i needed to deal with my bereavement and get help asap
the next day i went to the drs and got some diazepam and mentioned my neck to the drs. she also checked my neck and my throat declated me fine but offered an ultrasound to make me feel better
i have private health so went the next day. the scan showed enlarged lymph nodes and a multinodular goitre, with 2 dominant nodules, 2cm and 1cm. he also tested my thyroid levels. They came back normal but he also mentioned some things were " a little high " but didnt say what. but he said i dont have any inflammation in my body and my thyroid is normal. however normal isnt good in this case because toxic goitres are almost never cancerous. cancerous nodules are normally euthyroid. So the endo recommended i go straight to biopsy and also meet with an ent surgeon next week so he can check everything else.
after spending 2 days dropping my bndle and googling furiously, i am kind of ok about thyroid cancer, its kind of treatable, and i shold be ok, even if they remove my thyroid.
however then i looked with a torch down my throat as ive felt one of my tonsols was biggee than the other. and it looks different, its lumpy while the other one is smooth. more googling and i cant find anything to make me feel better. i do smoke ( i did quit for a while ) and i plan to give up again but its a real crutch for my anxiety. i also have a scratchy back of my tongue/throat but my tonsils arent sore. im also getting freqent headaches and ive eaten hardly nothing since this all started with the ultrasond and stuff.
im taking 3x diazepam a day (2mg) and some days i am ok and i dont need it, other times i am double-dropping.
i just feel like something is wrong and has been with my health for a while. i should be happy and planning my future as i got paid my inheritance the day this all kicked off. but it all feels wrong and really i was going through the motions. other than paying my debts i havent touched the money. could this be depression?
ive also had sinus pressure for the past few weeks, i can breathe fine, tho i am sometimes swallowing a little bit of snot, none comes out of my nose. when i lay down the pressure is worse and i can feel the gunk move from one side to the other when i am asleep.
Also when i am almost asleep, i wake up with a big gasp and my heart goes fast. ive had palpitations for years but mostly have learned to live with them. i have a diazepam nearby if its really bad.
the anxiety goes in peaks and troughs... sometimes i just feel like i want to crawl out of my own skin asap and my body is dying.
has anyone been through this kind of health anxiety and reassure me?