panic caused break up now have depression and anxiety

[lizzie_beth]

hello, it's been a relief finding this website especally with understanding my panic attack. my story is..i went travelling and my boyfriend joined me for part of it. i woke up one day and just felt a bit low then had a panic attack and then had sever anxiety for the remainder of the holiday. the only way i could alleviate the anxiety was to break up with him. i'm now in counselling and on citalopram and have cut my travels short. i have broken up with my boyfriend who doesn't understand, we lived together so he's moved out. i think he is amazing but i can't be with him, i can't even talk to him, i just have nothing to say and end up hysterical on the phone. i am having anxiety attacks daily. also i don't have a job and don't want to go back to what i was doing before but don't know what else to do. i'm not coping with my situation and the feelings that have come from it. any words of wisdom why i might have had a panic attack that then caused the break up?

[mmb]

Hi lizzie_beth,
First of all, :hugs:I'm sorry you are not feeling well... anxiety and depression can make you feel numb and feelings for other people are hard to read and explain... how long have you been suffering from panic attacks? Have you talked about it with him? I know is hard to explain and sometimes very hard for our loved ones to understand... I'm still trying to understand why I suffer from it and it's not an easy journey! Take some time to recover, be kind to yourself and I hope you feel better very soon... I'm sorry I haven't got any answers for you but I just wanted to say that you are not alone and wish you the best x

[lizzie_beth]

hey, thanks for the kind words and taking the time to post back. i have only really ever suffered from them in break up situations but this was the worst one ever, and it's been me doing the break ups which is by no means fun. my boyfriend knows everything about how i felt but that doesn't really help him understand nor me. i'm in counselling now so i'm hoping i will get some answers.

[Patrick Michael]

Lizzie

All I can say is good luck to you.Break ups are pants. You have awareness that this has happened in the past, you're aware this is an issue for you and you are seeking help with it, not running away.

I suffered a break up a couple of years ago. I went very into myself and spent a long time in denial. I was still in love with that person, but to me she just ended things point blank and 'ran away'. I loved her completely truthfuly and honestly. On some level she was lying to me, and more importantly to herdelf. I now recognise her behaviour as part of a pattern.

But for myself, it - the break up - or I - it has caused tremendous pain. Anxiety, depression . One's feeling of love for another person does not just switch off. I've had to come to terms with that. Now I have to relearn how to trust another human being if I am to have the kind of relationship that I want to have.

And for me, that requires I relearn how to trust myself and put myself in healthy positions, and equally to recognise places that are not healthy for me.

God bless you, and god bless me.

Patrick

[swanlinnet]

Space is the one thing we all need. And having to explain ourselves to anybody when we are 'wired' so to speak causes anger.

I used to dread being on my own. But when I was with my partner I experienced exactly the same things you say in your post.

Space is so important. Maybe see your boyfriend on your terms ...that is ...explain you are convalescing and that from hereonin it will be you who says when and where we go out .

I know it might not be ideal. But if we are convalescing then we do need our space and people in our corner who understand.

Hope this helps, Vince:)