Terrified of going back to work

[millym]

Ive been off with work related stress for 10months after being talked to like a piece of crap from guy at work. Employer says that 'they've come to end of line' with what they can do - which was basically listening to the guys story and deciding that it was a 'my word -v- his situation despite me having witnesses - he liked having an audience :weep: however, I don't want to drag them into it. I've sorted myself out a bit with counselling, exercise,et etc but feel I HAVE to go back because I've lost so much confidence that I'm at rock bottom and don't feel I've anything to offer to a new job, never mind even going to interview. The upshot is that, as my employers have done nothing, then I just go back to work - with same person - and get on with it. I feel sick at thought. Don't even think I can go in front door, I can't even walk past shop front as it is. But I feel I have to do something, and its this or nothing. Sorry if this is a bit muddle, I just DON'T KNIW WHAT TO DO :weep:

[kittikat]

Hi millym, sorry to hear you are in such a dilemma. The thought of going back to work is daunting enough when you've been off for a while but for you much worse as it has involved a colleague. It's no wonder your confidence is at rock bottom. But it's good that you are thinking about going back, a step in the right direction.

Did your employer send you to Occ Health during your absence? Obviously you have been seeing your GP, can you discuss a phased return with them? This will allow you to get back into the swing of it without too much pressure, doc can add some notes to your fitness for work cert ie, reduced days and hours due to stress. My understanding is that if your employers don't agree, you can stay signed off until an agreement is reached or you feel better about things. How long have you worked there/is it a big/small company, all have an impact on your approach. Maybe also talk to Citizens Advice or ACAS before deciding next course of action.

I was recently off 11 weeks and I am on phased return. It was hard enough for me to go back, although work load stress (and other things) caused my breakdown, I never had any issues with colleagues so I can only assume how much worse that would be.

Good luck, one small step at a time eh? :)

[millym]

Hi millym, sorry to hear you are in such a dilemma. The thought of going back to work is daunting enough when you've been off for a while but for you much worse as it has involved a colleague. It's no wonder your confidence is at rock bottom. But it's good that you are thinking about going back, a step in the right direction.

Did your employer send you to Occ Health during your absence? Obviously you have been seeing your GP, can you discuss a phased return with them? This will allow you to get back into the swing of it without too much pressure, doc can add some notes to your fitness for work cert ie, reduced days and hours due to stress. My understanding is that if your employers don't agree, you can stay signed off until an agreement is reached or you feel better about things. How long have you worked there/is it a big/small company, all have an impact on your approach. Maybe also talk to Citizens Advice or ACAS before deciding next course of action.

I was recently off 11 weeks and I am on phased return. It was hard enough for me to go back, although work load stress (and other things) caused my breakdown, I never had any issues with colleagues so I can only assume how much worse that would be.

Good luck, one small step at a time eh? :)

Hi, thanks for that. Work has @ 150 people, have agreed to a phased return but not a change in days to allow me to work 2 days together rather than 1 day start of wk and 1 day end. They've sent me to OH 3 times, last time they said it would be 3 months till I was ready - I'm half way thru that. Union have ignored my phone calls so have been no use and CAB won't help me as I'm in a union :shrug: Tbh, I would for sake of my health, rather that they just paid me off, but very much doubt they will/ or that I could broach it with them?? :huh:

[kittikat]

If your GP deems you unfit for work and it's ongoing ie past the date you are due back, they may eventually approach you regarding termination of employment on grounds of ill health. Do you take any meds, previous history of anxiety or related illness? You could be covered by the DDA due to mental health but it's a bit of a grey area tbh. Tell your GP you are unhappy about the phased return and cannot agree a suitable programme with your employers. They still have a duty of care and your health and safety should come first.

I personally wouldn't broach the pay off business with them, stay off sick if you're not ready to go back and see what happens. They can't just sack you (unless you worked there less than a year) you have rights!!

[letsheal]

sorry to hear about your dilemma, have you ever considered a therapy called EFT, I went for a session once and it helped me quite a bit, in fact the person I saw often does free events where he helps others... not sure if it's something you might be into?

[millym]

sorry to hear about your dilemma, have you ever considered a therapy called EFT, I went for a session once and it helped me quite a bit, in fact the person I saw often does free events where he helps others... not sure if it's something you might be into?

No, I've never heard of it :blush: can you fill me in please?