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paulwojnicki
14-02-12, 12:27
Hi guys,
I'm not sure if there's already been a thread on this (probably has) but I'll start this anyway. I'm going to compile a list of things that have helped me over the last nine years and if anyone wants to contribute to the list they can. Maybe we'll give each other a few ideas in the process.

Swimming. There is something calming about water. Just floating in the water on your back feels calming. Try it. Then try swimming, focus on the far side of the pool and take long steady breast strokes, focusing on each stroke as you do so. This helps to develop focus and helps you live in the moment rather than worrying about events that will not happen.

Eating something delicious. Again this is a great way of focusing your mind instead of thinking about catastrophic events that will not happen. I find it good to take a succulent green apple or a lovely peach with me if I'm going anywhere that might make me anxious like a train journey or bus journey. If you feel anxiety coming on, take a bite of the apple, close your eyes an focus on how sweet and tasty the apple is. Savour it. Live in the moment, don't worry about what MIGHT happen, it almost certainly will not.

Pets. Buying a dog helped me enormously. There is something unbelievably relaxing about having a pet. They love you unconditionally and are always willing to cheer you up when you are down. I found that walking my dog on a daily basis made me believe that I am actually a healthy person and that my heart is not going to just stop at any given moment.

Creative visualisation. Almost every self help book I have ever read and I have read a few, boils down to the same thing. Creative visualisation. There is an excellent book called Psycho Cybernnetics in which the author describes exactly how this works on the brain. It boils down to this; mental practice is very nearly as good as actual practice. So if going to the supermarket terrifies you (it did me for a long time), then visualise yourself going to the supermarket and being calm. Imagine yourself chatting idly with the checkout man/woman while you are paying. Imagine it ten times a day every day for a week then try actually going to the supermarket, start by buying just an item or two, pay and leave. Keep up the mental practice, then go in and but a few more things. ALWAYS start with baby steps, just buying an item or two to prove to yourself that you can do it.

More to follow

nomorepanic
14-02-12, 12:29
Hi paulwojnicki

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

paulwojnicki
14-02-12, 12:37
I am by no means a religious man but I found that going to my local cathedral at service times and sitting at the back helped me overcome the fear I had of sitting in offices, cinemas and buses. I'd lost track of the amount of times I had run out of these situations and found the church a completely free way of combating this.

Again I started with baby steps, going in and telling myself that I would last a minute no matter how bad the anxiety got. It was terrifying at first and I didn't think I would make it, but I forced myself. After a few times I stayed for two minutes, then three, then four and eventually the whole service. I even took a wafer from the priest one week and I'm not even a catholic!

---------- Post added at 12:37 ---------- Previous post was at 12:32 ----------

Watching sport and reading sportsmen and women's biographies taught me as much about building confidence as any self help book does. The more you read about sportsmen the more you realise that they have to use the same CBT techniques and creative visualisation techniques as we do to build their confidence.

Sport teaches us that confidence is quickly lost but has to be rebuilt gradually, look at any team on a losing streak, the heads go down and their skills seem to evaporate. It almost always takes time to rebuild this and the way to do it is by focusing on the future and thinking positive things rather than dwelling on the negative things that are now in the past.

Try not to remember that bad things happened before and try to think of what great things could happen in the future.

Good luck and please add your tips.

snowgoose
14-02-12, 20:55
lovely help Paul
I agree with everything you say ....cant swim though :blush:.......but running water ,rivers etc are very soothing indeed from the bank or side of pool.

An animal to walk every day or stroke and care for :ditto

And churches large or small hold peace in their walls for folk on the brink.... any time regardless of religion or not . Sought sanctuary many times in such buildings and grounds ......dont know why or how I ended up there .

Visualisation is a great help for relaxing along with exercises . every night I say to myself before sleeptime ......where shall I go tonight in my dreams and imagine . usually send my other half out fishing so he gets peace too :winks:

nice post x

swanlinnet
15-02-12, 05:21
Great post Paul. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

Have a good day

Vince :)