just really confused now

[sickandtired]

Just been to what I thought was my first cbt session....
when i got there,I was asked how i was feeling etc and i thought i was being given the option of having cbt and/or emdr
as usual i listened but my brain at the moment doesnt seem to take everything in...so when i said yes to the emdr...she said ok we can put you straight on the waiting list for that.....nothing else was mentioned about cbt
she just gave me a load of literature on panic etc and sent me on my way.I think i got the wrong end of the stick...and instead of asking her....i went away,got in my car and started crying.i just dont know what to do really.....
sorry,having an off day today :weep:

[nomorepanic]

Why don't you call them and explain this and say that you wanted CBT not EMDR?

[sickandtired]

i dont know what i want,just want it all to stop
dont know whats wrong with me today,ive been doing so well but feel terrible today

[nomorepanic]

Ok well maybe try EMDR - you never know - it could help

[sickandtired]

yes,think i,ll stick with that...god im so indecisive,its pathetic

[pinkdove]

aw i'm so sorry you are feeling so bad today, and such a dissapointment for you, when i had an assesment the same thing happened to me, i really could'nt take much in, and came away with a load of paper and stuff to read, felt it was a waste of time too, so i know how that feels.

That said when you feel better you could ring and find out what your best option's are, hope you feel better soon xxx

[sickandtired]

yeah thats exactly how i felt....
like it had been a waste of time...i,d got all nervous about going,but glad i was finally doing something about it........then to be given leaflets and sent on my way......i felt deflated
she did say if i changed my mind it would be no problem...
i guess im just getting worried about how emotional the emdr would be....i dont want to feel worse
if there was a guarantee it worked i wouldnt be feeling like this,i dont think......think my head's still all over the place tbh
thanks for replying x

[snowgoose]

Hi Sickandtired
I just want to send a hug to you :hugs:

No wonder you feel confused and upset. It was overload of information at the meeting after being hyper anyway my love x ....not nice at all when you are waiting for this appt .

Just take your time now to read the leaflets etc ........go with what feels right for you ...take your time .

I have no knowledge of therapy [doc refused ] .......so cant comment with the choices given to you.

But ...reading your posts here tells me you are doing so much to help yourself and that is brilliant and very brave .

Tomorrow maybe ring and ask some questions ? if not I am sure someone here will help . either way you are going to get support to get a contented life back .
You will do this . :bighug1:

It is support and if one isnt working then you can say so and get the other method once you are in the system maybe .
only trying it will tell.

dont cry ...........you are on the road now to recovery with lots done by yourself and a bit tweaking by the professionals .
You will be well again :yesyes:

[sickandtired]

thanks snowgoose,im not sure i will ever be well again...
i feel utterly empty
my hubby has just come in and ive tried(not succeeded) to hide my tears....he,s getting fed up of my moods
i cant go into too much detail with him,with whats wrong....i feel ashamed,i feel angry.i just want to be able to pull myself together but feel hopeless.
i had 9 hours sleep last night and cant understand why im feeling this way again,im usually great after a good sleep....im bloody crying again now,sorry

[Stormsky]

Sleep on it and if you want to change to CBT call them tomorrow... CBT sounds less evasive...but only you know which is best for you.

[LAURA48]

Hi - oh you poor thing - I think you were obviously referred to the wrong therapist. I work at a medical centre and there arey are graded - one lady comes on a Wed am and (not so good) imo, but there are others who pop in (higher grade) can deal with anxiety related probems, CBT, etc, there are so many therapists who specialise in different areas. I think you must go back to your Dr and asked to be referred to a therapist who specialises in anxiety/CBT and ask him to expedite the matter. Giving leaflets out in just not on! Good Luck and let me know how you get on. Laura x

[sickandtired]

thats the thing,i saw this lady for my assessment and she was lovely,made me feel at ease etc
i think i,d pinned all my hopes on her for cbt and when i realised the emdr was with someone else it was like...omg the unknown again.....
she did say if i changed my mind there would be no problem.....but im just so confused ,i really dont know what i want to do.even just mentioning certain things brings tears to my eyes...how the hell will i go on with the emdr?
i need to really sit down and think this over.wish i didnt have to think - at all

[snowgoose]

oh love :hugs:
the partners do get fed up with us for sure. And it makes things worse .
You need to cry and weep of course you do . Today was a huge undertaking for you . The build up for going and the stress . And being disappointed in the meeting when yet again they ask you what you want and need .
Erm excuse me but you are the ones to tell me and help me so do it !!!

Our partners care for us and no doubt he had huge hope that stuff [ahem ] will be getting sorted . both tired and on edge . You are both suffering .

for tonight maybe just put all this on back boiler . You have choices and control here .Nothing today is set in stone . YOU have help now xx

Have nice long bath and forget today for now ........say to yourself ok I will deal with this tomorrow ......but for now I am going to have bath ,dry my eyes and look in the mirror [hate this bit myself arrgh ] .......and say tonight anxiety and the past can go to hell . then just go with the flow eh ?
and cuddle if you feel able to ........if not remind yourself how far you have come in your life and reward yourself lady....cos you are worth it.
snow x

[sickandtired]

ive just poured myself a large beer,i know it wont solve anything,but im only having one ,xxx
thanks for listening to me moan again,will go and have that bath now x
i,ll sleep on it,might be clearer in the morning

[lizerie]

Hope things seem brighter in the morning! :hugs: