How long does an episode of anxiety last for you?

[StressCase]

I find that when I have a health worry, it's always there in the back of my mind until it resolves or until I am convinced that the diagnosis of something minor is correct.

But during the time when I have a health worry, I will have lots of moments when it comes from the back of my mind to the front of my mind and dominates all my thoughts. At this point, my heart starts racing, my body trembles, I feel close to tears, I feel unable to cope and just generally awful. My thoughts are all over the place and I feel I have to say things to myself to reassure myself but other thoughts fight these thoughts. It's really exhausting. (I've never had a full blown panic attack, however.) This can last for an hour or so and then if I can try to distract myself I find that I gradually calm down to a state which is reasonable - i.e. not the full blown panic. Is that similar to how other people experience the panic? I just wish I could stop myself entering the state of very high anxiety. I'm waiting to start CBT, I expect it will be a long wait, but I'm very ready for it - I've got to do something about this.

[robin321]

I am the same as you.
When I have a health worry (as I do now) the anxiety is pretty much always there. It might range on a scale of 3/10 to 5/10
But occasionally I get waves where it hits a 9/10 or 10/10. I think this is what you are referring to.
These waves can be as short as 5min or as long as 2hrs or so. The avg is about 1hr.

It actually happened this AM. I went to the shower, and this bring on my HA for some reason. Anyway, my wife noticed and said I looked like a switch went off.

When it happens I feel extreme anxiety, scared, and all over the place.

I am in CBT, but have only just begun. It has taught me so far to notice what brings on these big panics. They usually happen once or twice a day.

I noticed the following
- Usually brought on by symptom checking or internet checking
- Usually on more stressful days (i.e. something else happening that day that is unnerving me)
- Usually made worse when I let my thoughts go to worse case scenerios and I imagine them
- Made better by forcing myself to do something different (i.e go on walk, talk to somebody about something - not my symptoms but something normal)

[iluvstaffies1]

This is just how I am and I am awaiting cbt. Does cbt teach you to stop the checking?

[robin321]

it teaches you that checking only increases the anxiety

it teaches other skills to reduce the anxiety - like being more realistic, changing your thinking patterns, accepting that the worst case isn't the only case, etc..

and it teaches you to accept that you cannot control everything, so to live with that uncertain feeling...

[iluvstaffies1]

If I never checked my mouth then I know I wouldnt feel anxious. But then I think to myself that I HAVE to check it before the dentist does because when the dentist then tells me he has found something I will be more prepared for it.

[robin321]

You just hit on something when you said you wanted to be prepared.

Same thing with me. I actually see an ENT this week.
I have thought, why not leave them alone and see what he says.
This is what a normal, reasonable person would do

But, like you I want to be 'prepared'. So I check and check.

Would I really be prepared? I dunno. But I don't think it is worth the daily anxiety and checking I have endured for 3 months

[StressCase]

robin, thanks for talking about your experience of cbt. Just reading the words 'accepting the worst case scenario isn't the only case' was really helpful. I don't think I've ever thought about it like that, although I know have a tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusion.

I'm really keen to learn how it teaches you to accept that that you cannot control everything, and how to live with that uncertain feeling. It seems hard to believe that I will ever learn to live with that feeling, although I'd really like to.

It's interesting to read your triggers as well. Symptom checking and internet checking are definitely triggers for me too, but my worries don't seem to be triggered by stressful days. Instead, I find other stressful events distract me from my health anxiety or help me to put it to the back of my mind. But when everything is going well in life, or I've had a really good day, I get a feeling of 'something isn't right, what is it? Oh yes, I remember, I'm probably going to die soon. This might be the last time I have a good day, I'll probably be diagnosed with something awful soon because I've got x,y and z symptom and because etc etc' And, then I can start to experience the panic, but the intensity will vary (not sure what effects the intensity of it, though).

[iluvstaffies1]

I am also like that. Its almost like I feel I dont deserve to be happy when things are ok, so I check my mouth in the mirror, find something and then say to myself "told you so. Dont you dare let yourself be happy" and then the anxiety returns.

[StressCase]

I'm totally with you on the 'don't deserve to be happy/healthy'. A lot of the time I convince myself that I actually deserve to get something awful because of things I've done in the past. It's like I see it as a punishment that I deserve. But, from reading about cbt, I think these are just warped thoughts and you can change them, it's just learning how to.

[justina]

Oh this is so interesting to read. I recognize everything you all say.
I know by now that I have to avoid dr Google, but I am just not strong enough to do so. I always have that feeling "it is better to be aware, it is better to know about all possible causes to the symptoms, also the worst is important to keep in mind, because what if the doctor is stressed or tired and doesn't examine me or my kids carefully...then I need to know what to look for myself"
AAAH it takes so much energy to be like this. When I have health anxiety about something I am so tired in the evenings...because of all the tension I am building up.
This CBT thing sounds to be exactly what I need, but what if I get too relaxed and undervaluate symptoms after the CBT? I worry about this, too!
:blush:

[StressCase]

I used to worry about that too, Justina. I thought that my anxiety was actually kind of keeping me safe. But I am beginning to realise that I've got to do something about this. I was scared of talking to the doctor about it in case every time I went to see the GP, they just dismissed whatever I said and then I would feel no reassurance. However, I have to say my doctor has been great. She is very thorough (I've actually just had a range of tests) but at the same time she knows what I think and so she does her best to reassure me by saying she's not too worried, but is just doing the tests to cover everything.
SC

[justina]

I used to worry about that too, Justina. I thought that my anxiety was actually kind of keeping me safe. But I am beginning to realise that I've got to do something about this. I was scared of talking to the doctor about it in case every time I went to see the GP, they just dismissed whatever I said and then I would feel no reassurance. However, I have to say my doctor has been great. She is very thorough (I've actually just had a range of tests) but at the same time she knows what I think and so she does her best to reassure me by saying she's not too worried, but is just doing the tests to cover everything.
SC

Oh yes! I don't want to let doctors know about my HA, because I feel they will never ever take me seriously again:lac:
But of course it would be better to be open with it, so that I can be helped...:wacko:

[Carmeld14]

My worry with going to the doctors, is that they will confirm my worst fears. However if I delay going, I begin google searching and panicking to the point that I have a panic attack. So it becomes a vicious circle which feeds my health anxiety. I did this last week and now I'm so tired !