panic/anxiety for months - can't eat

[cairojones]

I have been suffering panic attacks and anxiety constantly for 8 months. When I say constant I mean every day, 24/7. I hardly sleep, getting about 4 hours a night and can't eat a thing hardly. I now weigh about 7.5 stone, have lost about 1.5 stone. Every day I wake up between 4 and 5.30 and immediately go into panic mode with a burst of diarrhoea, have all the symptoms and they don't stop until about 10pm.

I have been to the doctor loads of times, firstly got Mirtazapine which worked for a bit then all symptoms came back. Then got Paraxotine which was awful and made me worse. Now taking Propanolol and Amitryptiline and have got Valium but know how addictive it is so am trying really hard not to take it unless I really need it. I have been to a homeopath which was no help at all and I'm thinking of trying a herbalist but I'm short of money with not working.

I live on my own, am 58, and have nobody except my sister who lives 200 miles away. I went to stay with her for a week which was lovely, I felt much safer with people around me although the condition still persisted, but I had to come back 'cos of my pets. I've got a dog and two cats and I'm finding it really hard to walk the dog as I am so weak from not eating. My neighbour is lovely and helps out when she can but she has a small child and my dog isn't good with kids. I spend every day living in my bedroom, can't go to work, constantly in tears, terrified of everything. I haven't washed my hair for weeks and wearing same clothes every day.

I feel like I'm going insane, losing my mind, and frequently have suicidal thoughts. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again. I just don't know what to do and I'm at my wits end. I can't go on like this, it's just unbearable. The worst thing is not eating, all my clothes are hanging off me.

I think I have Adrenal Fatigue but my doc says I can't have because it's extremely rare?

Please can somebody give me some advice or help, please?

[thebe]

youve made a start and found this forum, go into the chat room too and talk theres also a facebook page, you also imo need to go back to your doctors and ell him/her how you are feeling exactly how you wrote your post, i think you need more help than you are getting
read the articles on this site about coping with anxiety and remember those panics will NOT harm you they are symptons of anxiety we all get them, let the fear wash over you when they come dont try to fight them, say so what and you will find that they dissapate, soon as you arnt scared of the fear you dontget panics, theres a wealth of info on this site please read it
in the meantime try to get something down you even in liquid form like vita food or nutriment drinks they are packed full of vitamins and calories, you will be feeling super crap at the moment if you are not eating and makeing everything worse
(the car is out of petrol you need to put some in other wise it wont go=YOU)

take care we are here for you on NMP
T x

[mistymoo]

oh im sorry your suffering so much, try to persevere with the tablets as they can take up to six weeks to work, regarding your dog, the http://www.cinnamon.org.uk/ have dog walkers who can walk your dog for you, try and eat even if its snacks every couple of hours, this feeling wont last forever, although you think it will when your in the midst of it, when you feel better, would you consider moving nearer to your sister, maybe social services could help, i hope you perk up soon, take care Angie

[rocklover]

I have been suffering panic attacks and anxiety constantly for 8 months. When I say constant I mean every day, 24/7. I hardly sleep, getting about 4 hours a night and can't eat a thing hardly. I now weigh about 7.5 stone, have lost about 1.5 stone. Every day I wake up between 4 and 5.30 and immediately go into panic mode with a burst of diarrhoea, have all the symptoms and they don't stop until about 10pm.

I have been to the doctor loads of times, firstly got Mirtazapine which worked for a bit then all symptoms came back. Then got Paraxotine which was awful and made me worse. Now taking Propanolol and Amitryptiline and have got Valium but know how addictive it is so am trying really hard not to take it unless I really need it. I have been to a homeopath which was no help at all and I'm thinking of trying a herbalist but I'm short of money with not working.

I live on my own, am 58, and have nobody except my sister who lives 200 miles away. I went to stay with her for a week which was lovely, I felt much safer with people around me although the condition still persisted, but I had to come back 'cos of my pets. I've got a dog and two cats and I'm finding it really hard to walk the dog as I am so weak from not eating. My neighbour is lovely and helps out when she can but she has a small child and my dog isn't good with kids. I spend every day living in my bedroom, can't go to work, constantly in tears, terrified of everything. I haven't washed my hair for weeks and wearing same clothes every day.

I feel like I'm going insane, losing my mind, and frequently have suicidal thoughts. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again. I just don't know what to do and I'm at my wits end. I can't go on like this, it's just unbearable. The worst thing is not eating, all my clothes are hanging off me.

I think I have Adrenal Fatigue but my doc says I can't have because it's extremely rare?

Please can somebody give me some advice or help, please?

Hi Cairo, just wanted to let you know not to give up, whether you are able to believe it or not, you WILL recover. I'm a 37 year old mum of two and I've suffered two major anxiety bouts in my life so far, the first 3 years ago and the second very recently.

I was exactly the same as you from May last year until last month. I had all the same symptoms including hardly eating due to constant, severe nausea (I lost well over a stone). I woke up every morning between 3.30am and 4.30am and had stomach pains, upset bowels, instant anxiety and panic attacks and that's how it was all day, every day until about 8/9pm. I suffered up to 3 full blown panic attacks a day and had sky high anxiety in between.

I lived with my fiance 200 miles away from my family and had to move back home as I could not cope with my two kids (a 6yr old and 5 month old at the time). I would shake all day, would get unbelievably hot and had to have fans on or doors/windows open constantly as being hot made me panic even more. I would cry uncontrollably, my mum had to get my daughter to and from school, I even missed her Christmas nativity play (I was so ashamed of myself).

I too tried Mirtazapine which did nothing except knock me out at night, I tried Citalopram (which I have had before and it worked great) but it made me worse. I tried Sertraline, but the side effects were awful so I gave up. I thought I would never get better and would have to be hospitalised, BUT the Dr in the mental health clinic to which I was referred; saved my life. He prescribed me an old tri-cyclic anti-depressant called Imipramine and I can honestly say it has given me my life back.

I have had no painc attacks for at least 3 weeks, I can sleep, I don't fidget or shake, I can take my daughter to and from school, I go grocery shopping and even visited my sister and nephew which is a good 40 minute drive from where I live. I could barely leave the house at my worst.

My partner has just moved up country to be with me and we will be moving out of my parents house as soon as he has a job as I now feel able to cope without the aid of my mum. My advice would be to go back to your GP and ask for more help, tell them exactly how limited your life has become, they should refer you to the local mental health team (if your area has one) and they can definitely put your name down for some free CBT sessions. Also, discuss alternative medications with the Dr as there is always something out there for everyone.

I completely understand how terrifying each day seems at the moment, I remember vividly that knot of dread in the pit of the stomach the moment you wake, the frustration and even guilt at not being able to get better. Believe me I battled these demons every second of every day, but eventually they did lessen and disappear. I wish I could give you a big hug because I know how awful all this feels. :hugs:

As a final bit of advice, try and get into some sort of routine, have a shower regularly, launder and iron your clothes, eat (yes I'm afraid you need to force something down in the morning, at lunch and dinner or you'll feel even more unwell). You need to start proving to yourself that all you are suffering from is anxiety and panic, conquering the small things (baby steps) will help with this, but it takes time, don't expect to get better immediately as there is no magic cure (I hated everyone telling me that, but it's true).

Please PM me if you would like to know anything at all, or if you just want to chat.

Sarah

[thebe]

brilliant post sarah, i too ended up on an old trycyclic and it worked for me, but again so much words of comfort
T xxxxx

[flossie]

Hi Cairo. I just wanted to say hello and let you know that you need not go through this alone. We have all been where you are now and it will get better. I remember the waking up early and having to run to the loo. I cried with hunger but was frightened to eat. If you are having to get up with a poorly tum without eating you may as well have something to eat any way. At least with food in your system your body will be stronger to deal with it.
It doesn't matter what you eat to start with just get something inside you.
Try bland foods like toast or mashed potato to get you going. A baked potato is simple enough to cook when you're not feeling up to much. I used to eat Cornish Wafers all the time and when I was feeling daring I'd put honey on them.
Be kind to yourself. I know you don't feel like it at the moment but you really do need to start moving. Go and wash your hair and have a soak in the bath. Get some washing going round the washing machine and put the radio on.
There are helplines you can call for support and advice. Please take advantage of them. Have a look at the left of the page and click Finding Help under Self Help. No Panic helpline is 0808 808 0545 and Anxiety UK 08444 775 774.
The Samaritans UK 08457 90 90 90 and ROI 1850 60 90 90

Please call someone. I think it would be very helpful for you to talk to someone and have them respond to your concerns.
I called the NoPanic helpline myself a couple of weeks ago and they were extremely nice.
Please don't disappear. Keep in touch.

[cairojones]

Thank you to all who have replied for your kindness and advice.

Does anybody know how long it will take for Amitryptiline to kick in and for the side effects to wear off?

I started taking it 3 weeks ago and my doc told me to take 1 x 25g tablet at night and to increase it by 1 per day up to 6. I got up to 4 and felt terrible so stopped taking it for a week. I started again with 1 for 4 nights, then 2, then 3 the day before yesterday. I had terrible anxiety yesterday when I wrote the original post but feel a bit better today. However, I'm very tired and trembly, have shaky legs, no appetite still and been having brief dizzy spells. This morning I woke at 5am with panic/anxiety then slept again from 10 till 12 and woke up feeling very groggy and thick headed. Is this normal on this drug?

I so just want to have a day feeling alert and confident like I used to.

[thebe]

when i was on lofepramine (same stuff) i took one in the day and 2 at night cant remeber what mg it was though as it was over 20 yrs ago,, it took about 10 days to kick in, i think its trying to find out the correct doseage for each person as it varies, suddenly stopping taking any anti D has its withdrawel effects
id go back to doc and re evaluate what dosage suits you, not sure 6 tablets aday of these is right or is it? can someone else comment?
your feeling light headed i suspect because lack of food, get somethinmg in you ebven if its a norishment drink
go back to the docs
T x