911 Help ASAP

[anx2005]

I had an affair 7 years ago. At the time I just told my husband I had kissed the guy. I have been guilt ridden and made a promise to God that if my husband ever asked about it again I would tell the truth. he asked tonight. I tried to lie but eventually the truth came out. My husband left and started walking and I aven't seen him in an hour. I think my marriage is over.
We have 2 kids and i have destroyed all their lives.
Can this cause me a nervous breakdown? OMG I don't know what to do. I took a 1/4 of my 0.5mg ativan because that's all I ever take. Its PRN only and I am not on any other meds.
I know I deserve for it to be over. I am not worthy of his love. Please help me!!!!! I don't want to have a nervous breakdown.

[thebe]

stressfull yes but nervous breakdown, i dont think so, what do you define as a nervous breakdown?its the way you handle the situation you are in,undoubtably stress levels will be very high and if your prone to panic it may cause you to panic but not a nervous break down,give your husband some time to take it in, it was 7 years ago, some marriages survive thesde things, think of you and your children in the here and now and talk to someone close a friend or a rellie, try to talk to your husband when you next see him, good luck and take care
can some one else comment?
T xx

[flossie]

Recognise that this will be an extremely stressful time for you and that your anxiety levels are going to be high, the same as for anyone finding themselves in the position you are in at the moment. You are extremely unhappy, don't confuse that with having a breakdown.

[anx2005]

Just wanted to update you all.
We had a rocky night and then a long talk. I was in a very bad place when I had the affair. Very bad- panic 24 hours a day with no relief. I mean miserable panic. On clonidine, ativan, and a sleeping pill. We had a very bad marriage back then and he was very emotional abusive. I know that is not an excuse. I was leaving him anyway and he knew that.
Here we are
So we talked about all of that and I told him everything and answered every question he had very honestly.

It has been 3 months now and we are still together and a weight has been lifted. All this time I had held it in because a minister, my psychologist, and family had told me that it was my cross to bear. That telling my husband only caused him pain and relieved my guilt. That it was selfish to tell him. Whatever- it may be true but he asked and I told him. I wish I would have told him years ago. For years I have lived in this protective wall that I built because I knew that once he found out he would leave me. So I could never truly be open or free to love him. He had changed in 7 years and so have I.
I will say that the torment made me realize that I would never cheat again. I couldn't handle it. It would never be worth it.

[Beckybooboo]

Hi,

I just wanted to say I absolutely admire your courage of posting on here and also keeping us updated - if anything I can say that I'm truly happy for you that you and your partner are finally able to find peace.

My father had an affair for three years after being with my mum for twenty one years, I found out in a bad year (2008) when I was 15, I had my exams, I cheated on my ex boyfriend, I was unemployed and my uncle unfortunately committed suicide. Not a good year! My parents tried to make it work but couldn't, but I do take some warmth that there are happier stories out there.

I really do wish you the best of luck in your future.

All the best,
Becky