JoC93
16-02-12, 17:17
Hello this is the first time iv posted.
Im 18. iv had a lot of family and health problems. I seemed to come out of the whole thing with depression, manily around my permanent health condition. I always worried how people viewed me, and if the condition will worsen.I recieved counselling and medication and now feel i am better. But to cut a long story short, my medical condition got better but then a few months ago i have fell very ill again. from lots of help from my doctor i feel i am on the mend. A few weeks ago i started to notice i was panicing when i went into town. A took a bus with my boyfriend to a town about an hour away, suffered from really bad travel sickness and the panic feelings carried on from that. In the end we had to get the bus home (after me having anouther panic attack from fear of getting back on a bus) and i finally collasped into my bed. Ever since that day i have really struggled going into town, even the ones close by. Then it started at college and i can no longer make it. I have missed almost 3 weeks and am really behind. i believe these panic attacks where from fear of being ill in public and not being able to get home.
However a few nights ago i suffered a huge panic attack which lasted all night and day, resulting in me ending up hospital and having valium and diazepam to calm me down and eventually rest that night. My heart was beating so fast, i was shaking, i felt trapped wherever i went, i was incredibly emotional and no matter what i did i could not calm myself down no matter how hard i tried. it was a terrifying experience which i NEVER want again. I was convinced i was going crazy and had no good reason for the cause.
The next day i was still on diazepam but felt better. A few days on im still quite stressed and panicy but have calmed down and managed to make it out to town with my family, to my brothers house and my grandmas. I feel im doing really well.
Im in a relationship with an incredibly supportive, loving boyfriend. weve been together for a year and a half. (which is very long for me!) im completely inlove with him. Hes my best friend. But when he came over a few days after the panic attack i felt so sick. I didnt want him to touch me, sit near me or even be in my house. i was so relieved when he was gone. This is a boy i usually spend 24/7 with. I love being with him, im usually so relaxed and he can get me through anything. But now i cant bring myself to see him. I miss him so much, its horrible. I feel like im never going to stop feeling this trapped and panicked. Im not sure wether to push myself and see him again, take it in small steps to build up to spending long amounts of time together or just stop seeing him altogether? which is the last thing i want to do.. I feel like iv lost myself. This is just horrible. Im sorry for the long post & hope it all makes sense. Please say if you dont understand and il explain a little better. any advice would really help. thank you!
Im 18. iv had a lot of family and health problems. I seemed to come out of the whole thing with depression, manily around my permanent health condition. I always worried how people viewed me, and if the condition will worsen.I recieved counselling and medication and now feel i am better. But to cut a long story short, my medical condition got better but then a few months ago i have fell very ill again. from lots of help from my doctor i feel i am on the mend. A few weeks ago i started to notice i was panicing when i went into town. A took a bus with my boyfriend to a town about an hour away, suffered from really bad travel sickness and the panic feelings carried on from that. In the end we had to get the bus home (after me having anouther panic attack from fear of getting back on a bus) and i finally collasped into my bed. Ever since that day i have really struggled going into town, even the ones close by. Then it started at college and i can no longer make it. I have missed almost 3 weeks and am really behind. i believe these panic attacks where from fear of being ill in public and not being able to get home.
However a few nights ago i suffered a huge panic attack which lasted all night and day, resulting in me ending up hospital and having valium and diazepam to calm me down and eventually rest that night. My heart was beating so fast, i was shaking, i felt trapped wherever i went, i was incredibly emotional and no matter what i did i could not calm myself down no matter how hard i tried. it was a terrifying experience which i NEVER want again. I was convinced i was going crazy and had no good reason for the cause.
The next day i was still on diazepam but felt better. A few days on im still quite stressed and panicy but have calmed down and managed to make it out to town with my family, to my brothers house and my grandmas. I feel im doing really well.
Im in a relationship with an incredibly supportive, loving boyfriend. weve been together for a year and a half. (which is very long for me!) im completely inlove with him. Hes my best friend. But when he came over a few days after the panic attack i felt so sick. I didnt want him to touch me, sit near me or even be in my house. i was so relieved when he was gone. This is a boy i usually spend 24/7 with. I love being with him, im usually so relaxed and he can get me through anything. But now i cant bring myself to see him. I miss him so much, its horrible. I feel like im never going to stop feeling this trapped and panicked. Im not sure wether to push myself and see him again, take it in small steps to build up to spending long amounts of time together or just stop seeing him altogether? which is the last thing i want to do.. I feel like iv lost myself. This is just horrible. Im sorry for the long post & hope it all makes sense. Please say if you dont understand and il explain a little better. any advice would really help. thank you!