Just need some hope.

[AlexShenker]

A couple of weeks ago I had a panic attack completely out of nowhere. I used to get them occasionally when I smoked marijuana but they stopped when I quit. Ever since the panic attack i've felt very strange and not my self at all. Like my brain can't make connections with what i'm seeing and experiencing and i'm perceiving everything very differently to how I did before all of this. I had another panic attack last sunday and it has felt so much worse since then. I have trouble sleeping getting jolted awake often and when I do manage to get to sleep I always wake up around 8 or 9 regardless of what time I get to sleep and I find it impossible to get back to sleep after that. I've been to see my gp and have been prescribed some beta blockers but don't feel any less strange. I also have lost my appetite. I have arranged to go for a consultation about CBT on monday but I just keep worrying about never getting better and never feeling like myself again. I have read about depersonalisation/derealisation as a result of anxiety and think that may be what is happening but i'm finding it very hard to cope with and am constantly worrying that I may not be myself ever again. I just want some hope that I can get back to normal as I have no idea why this is happening. Sorry for the wall of text and if it's worded badly. Finding it very hard to type about but any responses would be greatly appreciated.

[Ingenious]

The short answer is yes, you will get better :) The problem at the moment however is you're stuck in a bit of a dark place where hope is in short supply, so it's normal to think you might never get better. However your post is actually very encouraging because you mention you have already seen a GP and are therefore getting help. I won't lie to you, these things can take some time to sort out, and you might go through some rough bits before then. But really what is happening is something in your mind, body or life is not right at the moment and now this has been brought into view you have an opportunity to fix it.

CBT can be very effective in challenging the beliefs and thoughts that have become part of your life, so with that and medication I'm sure you're on the right road.

It's important to be kind to yourself. You've hit a bad patch and what you are going through would challenge even the strongest person. Give yourself some slack to feel rough, to feel low. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way if you are unwell.

This forum will be a good place to chat with others who have been through the same.

[AlexShenker]

Thank you so much for your reply! I really hope that between the medication and cbt I can get back to myself.

[robinbrum]

If you are new to panic attacks they can be very frightening because you just can't understand why or where they come from. The more you have them eventually the more you will learn to accept or even ignore them altogether - to the point where many of them, if not all, completely disappear.
I still get panic attacks now but they are nowhere near the intensity that they used to be.
I would be a bit concerned about the cannabis use, particularly if you were smoking skunk rather than weed. You did the right thing quitting.

[theharvestmouse]

Anxiety is a c*nt. I'm sorry but it is. Apologies for the language but I've had a bad few days and I'm fed up of it.