Petrified of parents death

[ellie_C_mason1990]

The minute I start feeling a bit down my thoughts divert to my parents dying; i feel impending doom and work myself into a state.
I have had CBT and sometimes I can use this to help, but I just feel so tearful and that its out of my control. It doesn't help that I am at Uni so can't see them.
Does anyone else get this and/or have any tips to deal with this?

[K1rsty]

Yes I get this quite a lot. I can be ok then almost be in tears thinking about it. My dad is going to be 60 this year and when I think about it too hard I start to think 60 is near 70 - 70 is near 80 ............... My mum was really ill last year and I was sent home a few times due to vomiting with the worry.

[bignik]

My elderly father lives with us and wheelchair bound , sometimes when he falls asleep and Im down I look at him and think of him dying , and it makes me worse. Im currently getting CBT and I love my father dearly , he has always been there for me, he brought me up from the age of 10 , picked me up and dusted me down in my moments of need , as well as a good father hes been a great friend also so I can understand how you feel about your much loved parents.

My wife and I have looked after him for nearly 5 years now , and he very much appreciates it , so I try to dismiss such thoughts by balance and keep supporting him best I can even though Im unwell. I couldnt even think of putting him into a home it would make me even more distraught.

I think all you can do is keep loving them and support them the best you can, Im sure they know how much they are loved and sadly death comes to us all at one point.

When your thinking about it why not just pick up the phone and remind them how much you love them , Im sure it will bring a smile to all faces concerned and when you get a break from Uni give them a surprise visit.

[K1rsty]

He is lucky to have a son that cares so much for him bignik. I have met many people who do not care about there parents -Parents who have been wonderful and caring.
I think you are right by advising Ellie to call them. It must be very hard being at uni - I now I would find it very hard being away from my parents too.

[ZD]

I can relate to that hun my mum was ill for a very long time in and out of hospital and every day she was constantly complaining about pain and she was the reason my anxieties started , one day some one asked me a question and that was what can you do to stop anything happening to your mum , I knew the answer and didntbwant to say it but I did the answer was nothing I can do nothing to stop anything happening to her . 3 years ago she passed away and I was the only person to deal with it better than the rest of my family . So you see enjoy them and stop worrying because you can't stop something happening to any one we love . Xxxxx

[Stormsky]

Enevitably we are all going to die... my parents are 74 and 76, both have serious health, heart problems.... i moved to Somerset 2 yrs ago to be nearer them, as before only saw them twice a year.... you have to make the most of the time they are here... create lots of good memories.... not much more you can do.....

[theharvestmouse]

I get this as well, I hate it.

[ellie_C_mason1990]

thanks everyone!
yes i suppose its about the little things, enjoying my time with them etc
It's so horrible when something is beyond your control..