nichole123
18-02-12, 08:11
This is my first post so forgive me if I ramble on...
I've always been very shy and I am not comfortable talking to people I don't know. I am at a point where I am a little more relaxed when it is at my house or at work, mostly because it is my comfort zone and people are coming to me. I just start panicking when I feel forced into making small talk with people I barely know or don't know at all.
Tonight was my boyfriends birthday and we had made plans to go out to a bar. I have been to a bar once and only because I had already been drinking beforehand. All day I have been dreading going out. We never go out anywhere because I don't like being around people I don't know. I get this thought in my head that everyone is judging me at every second and the more people I am around the more people are looking at me. About half an hour before we were going to leave I decided that I wasn't going to go. I had been shaking the whole time I was trying to get ready which then turned into dizziness and then throwing up. Of course his brothers had already showed up at our house because one of them was driving so not only did I disappoint my boyfriend by saying I wasn't going to go but I also embarrassed him in front of his brothers by having a break down in front of them.
I used to be able to go places and be perfectly fine sitting outside most of the night by myself. Now I have gone from that to having to be glued to my boyfriend or else I feel completely helpless in social situations. I feel like my anxiety is ruining my relationship. My boyfriend has no problem meeting and talking with people. Usually when we go to a party or some other awkward gathering he is always trying to send me off with people I don't know so he can hang out with his friends. I only have a couple of friends so usually when we go anywhere it is for someone he knows.
I don't know if I am actually asking for any type of advice. I just had to get it out somewhere because there is no one I can talk to about this.
I've always been very shy and I am not comfortable talking to people I don't know. I am at a point where I am a little more relaxed when it is at my house or at work, mostly because it is my comfort zone and people are coming to me. I just start panicking when I feel forced into making small talk with people I barely know or don't know at all.
Tonight was my boyfriends birthday and we had made plans to go out to a bar. I have been to a bar once and only because I had already been drinking beforehand. All day I have been dreading going out. We never go out anywhere because I don't like being around people I don't know. I get this thought in my head that everyone is judging me at every second and the more people I am around the more people are looking at me. About half an hour before we were going to leave I decided that I wasn't going to go. I had been shaking the whole time I was trying to get ready which then turned into dizziness and then throwing up. Of course his brothers had already showed up at our house because one of them was driving so not only did I disappoint my boyfriend by saying I wasn't going to go but I also embarrassed him in front of his brothers by having a break down in front of them.
I used to be able to go places and be perfectly fine sitting outside most of the night by myself. Now I have gone from that to having to be glued to my boyfriend or else I feel completely helpless in social situations. I feel like my anxiety is ruining my relationship. My boyfriend has no problem meeting and talking with people. Usually when we go to a party or some other awkward gathering he is always trying to send me off with people I don't know so he can hang out with his friends. I only have a couple of friends so usually when we go anywhere it is for someone he knows.
I don't know if I am actually asking for any type of advice. I just had to get it out somewhere because there is no one I can talk to about this.