GT
18-02-12, 19:13
Currently i am having real trouble with high anxiety to the point of nearly being sick.
My scary thoughts started 3 years ago i was so convinced i had cancer. I would have intrusive thoughts about every twinge then i was obsessed i had aids. and the list goes on.
I thought i would share while my mind is clear what i go through and what i have learned through a lot of research and talking to others.
Firstly it is very common with anxiety to have very scary irrational thoughts. They can be from the basic worries like paying bills (although when anxious feels huge) right down to the worry you might hurt someone.
I want people to remember that these thoughts are normal for anyone, just with an anxious mind they stick like glue and seem like you are losing your mind.
I have panic and anxiety attacks just by even a word popping into my head.
The other day i saw a thing on the news which upset me. I went into a panic and thought god imagine if i did something like that?
What i have come to learn and am still having trouble coming to terms with is everyone has these thoughts but brush it off and say. Well i'm not a bad person so why would i do it. But as an anx person we think i thought it it must be true it must be me.
Try to remember that if when we see something horrible on the news unless you think about it and have a reaction which everyone has even 'normal people' how do we know its wrong? how do we know you shouldn't do these things?
Please remember that panic and anxiety is kind of like a gift in a way. It proves to us that we are more sympathetic and are more empathetic as we understand the horror of these actions and how wrong they are. just we react so hugely we exhaust our minds and become very upset.
Do you think serial killers and murders have anxiety attacks? I don't think so. These people are predators and have no empathy or guilt.
Sadly as people with anxiety we don't let our worries and thoughts just fly by like everyone else. we hold onto them for dear life trying to understand them and keep watch just incase we are crazy or psychotic.
I read an article about a psychologist that got his students to fill out a form on the weirdest thoughts they have ever had. They ranged from thinking they 'might drive there car off a bridge', down to 'kicking a baby in the head.' (WTF?) and these are 'normal' people.
so remember any thoughts you have no matter how weird or scary they may be. Everyone has them, EVERYONE, we are just so in tune with our thoughts that we remember every single strange weird thought. This is not just an OCD thing this is the product of an anxious mind tired and confused.
When i slow myself down when i panic i then realize my mind is searching for a reason for this panic. It has to find something to justify this fear. so we create the weirdest and most bizzare things.
I tested myself today as i had to prove to myself that when highly anx anything can set you off. i thought of a cushion. just a cushion. then my anx mind went into overdrive. and i thought of all the terrible things that could happen with a cushion. i came up with i could suffocate someone with it. (OMG PANIC) i could trip over it and crack my head open and bleed to death (OMG PANIC) and this was over a cushion?
I have also contacted a CBT specialist as i am going to get private therapy for these thoughts. In her description she said she sometimes works at the local hospice with patients and families. My first thought because of anx was. if i see her will i get cancer because she works at a hospice. Now how irrational and strange is that? Well it actually isnt. as hospices have cancer patients in. i'm scared of cancer so the thought poped into my head. i know i wouldn't get cancer from seeing her. but the word cancer is enough to send my anx mind on a mission to scare me.
Just remember anxiety is a hightened sense of awareness. we are exactly the same as everyone else. our thoughts just stick like glue. and can even become delusional because of the fear.
We are not weird or strange we are just more aware. The only people we cause pain is ourselves.
I will prob have anxiety over writing this but i needed too. I hope it helps other people. As we are not alone x
My scary thoughts started 3 years ago i was so convinced i had cancer. I would have intrusive thoughts about every twinge then i was obsessed i had aids. and the list goes on.
I thought i would share while my mind is clear what i go through and what i have learned through a lot of research and talking to others.
Firstly it is very common with anxiety to have very scary irrational thoughts. They can be from the basic worries like paying bills (although when anxious feels huge) right down to the worry you might hurt someone.
I want people to remember that these thoughts are normal for anyone, just with an anxious mind they stick like glue and seem like you are losing your mind.
I have panic and anxiety attacks just by even a word popping into my head.
The other day i saw a thing on the news which upset me. I went into a panic and thought god imagine if i did something like that?
What i have come to learn and am still having trouble coming to terms with is everyone has these thoughts but brush it off and say. Well i'm not a bad person so why would i do it. But as an anx person we think i thought it it must be true it must be me.
Try to remember that if when we see something horrible on the news unless you think about it and have a reaction which everyone has even 'normal people' how do we know its wrong? how do we know you shouldn't do these things?
Please remember that panic and anxiety is kind of like a gift in a way. It proves to us that we are more sympathetic and are more empathetic as we understand the horror of these actions and how wrong they are. just we react so hugely we exhaust our minds and become very upset.
Do you think serial killers and murders have anxiety attacks? I don't think so. These people are predators and have no empathy or guilt.
Sadly as people with anxiety we don't let our worries and thoughts just fly by like everyone else. we hold onto them for dear life trying to understand them and keep watch just incase we are crazy or psychotic.
I read an article about a psychologist that got his students to fill out a form on the weirdest thoughts they have ever had. They ranged from thinking they 'might drive there car off a bridge', down to 'kicking a baby in the head.' (WTF?) and these are 'normal' people.
so remember any thoughts you have no matter how weird or scary they may be. Everyone has them, EVERYONE, we are just so in tune with our thoughts that we remember every single strange weird thought. This is not just an OCD thing this is the product of an anxious mind tired and confused.
When i slow myself down when i panic i then realize my mind is searching for a reason for this panic. It has to find something to justify this fear. so we create the weirdest and most bizzare things.
I tested myself today as i had to prove to myself that when highly anx anything can set you off. i thought of a cushion. just a cushion. then my anx mind went into overdrive. and i thought of all the terrible things that could happen with a cushion. i came up with i could suffocate someone with it. (OMG PANIC) i could trip over it and crack my head open and bleed to death (OMG PANIC) and this was over a cushion?
I have also contacted a CBT specialist as i am going to get private therapy for these thoughts. In her description she said she sometimes works at the local hospice with patients and families. My first thought because of anx was. if i see her will i get cancer because she works at a hospice. Now how irrational and strange is that? Well it actually isnt. as hospices have cancer patients in. i'm scared of cancer so the thought poped into my head. i know i wouldn't get cancer from seeing her. but the word cancer is enough to send my anx mind on a mission to scare me.
Just remember anxiety is a hightened sense of awareness. we are exactly the same as everyone else. our thoughts just stick like glue. and can even become delusional because of the fear.
We are not weird or strange we are just more aware. The only people we cause pain is ourselves.
I will prob have anxiety over writing this but i needed too. I hope it helps other people. As we are not alone x