View Full Version : Some Thoughts About Frustration
I have been a member of No More Panic for five years and have found it a wonderful support system when I need my spirits lifted and my courage boosted. My particular form of anxiety is agoraphobia and severe social anxiety. I use the chat room a lot and sometimes post when I am about to do something scary such as receive visitors or go to the dentist. It really does help to have people give me words of encouragement and to have them offer me understanding.
Nothing in this world ever stays the same and No More Panic is no exception. In the past year or so we are getting more and more posts about health anxiety, to the extent that these are dominating the site.
Let me state first that I do not suffer from health anxiety myself. I do understand, however that we are all suffering from the same thing on this site and that is fear. If you have health anxiety and I have agoraphobia we may find each other’s phobias hard to fathom. We may even get frustrated by them, feeling the sufferer needs to ‘get a grip’ and ‘pull themselves together’.
Along side actual treatment such as CBT and counselling however, we all need support and understanding and I believe that is what the forums are for. At the top of the health anxiety forum it actually says ‘Post here for some advice’.
If you have a forum entitled ‘Health Anxiety’, people are going to post about all sorts of things, some of which we may find baffling and even ridiculous. But surely as members we are all entitled to the same level of respect and the same consideration. Lately some members have been spoken to a bit harshly. I know that no malice or offence is intended but these comments are born out of frustration. I would like to suggest that instead of being chastised they need to be encouraged to seek therapy while at the same time being let know they are supported.
I know some people who have suffered real physical illnesses feel frustrated when people here keep imagining they have serious illnesses. I guess when we suffer a physical illness we are reminded that life is short and we want to tell everyone to make the most of life and not waste it worrying. However, this IS a forum for worriers, and those who worry or panic about things are going to seek reassurance here.
One thing I think we do have to address is when people ask direct questions, such as ‘Is this a brain tumour?’ or ‘Am I having a heart attack?’ It worries me when people reply and say ‘It’s probably just anxiety.’ As we are not doctors we cannot know that and I believe it is dangerous in these cases to try to diagnose. We can still be supportive, however.
If members are becoming exasperated about the health anxiety posts, maybe the time has come for it to have a completely separate section of the site, dedicated specifically for these problems. I am not trying to sideline it. In fact it would probably be the most popular section of the site.
I have been prompted to write this post by the clashes I sometimes see on threads which makes me sad. Maybe this idea would put a stop to that? We are all here to support each other, whatever our fears. All sufferers of panic should be treated equally here.
Agree with all of that Rain.
Rain. yes i agree, i don't suffer health anxiety either, and don't feel comfortable enough to answer some of the question's members post.
However i do feel sorry for the members that do suffer, but like you have noticed it on the increase recently. hope you are well xx
macc noodle
19-02-12, 16:51
I have been a member of No More Panic for five years and have found it a wonderful support system when I need my spirits lifted and my courage boosted. My particular form of anxiety is agoraphobia and severe social anxiety. I use the chat room a lot and sometimes post when I am about to do something scary such as receive visitors or go to the dentist. It really does help to have people give me words of encouragement and to have them offer me understanding.
Nothing in this world ever stays the same and No More Panic is no exception. In the past year or so we are getting more and more posts about health anxiety, to the extent that these are dominating the site.
Let me state first that I do not suffer from health anxiety myself. I do understand, however that we are all suffering from the same thing on this site and that is fear. If you have health anxiety and I have agoraphobia we may find each other’s phobias hard to fathom. We may even get frustrated by them, feeling the sufferer needs to ‘get a grip’ and ‘pull themselves together’.
Along side actual treatment such as CBT and counselling however, we all need support and understanding and I believe that is what the forums are for. At the top of the health anxiety forum it actually says ‘Post here for some advice’.
If you have a forum entitled ‘Health Anxiety’, people are going to post about all sorts of things, some of which we may find baffling and even ridiculous. But surely as members we are all entitled to the same level of respect and the same consideration. Lately some members have been spoken to a bit harshly. I know that no malice or offence is intended but these comments are born out of frustration. I would like to suggest that instead of being chastised they need to be encouraged to seek therapy while at the same time being let know they are supported.
I know some people who have suffered real physical illnesses feel frustrated when people here keep imagining they have serious illnesses. I guess when we suffer a physical illness we are reminded that life is short and we want to tell everyone to make the most of life and not waste it worrying. However, this IS a forum for worriers, and those who worry or panic about things are going to seek reassurance here.
One thing I think we do have to address is when people ask direct questions, such as ‘Is this a brain tumour?’ or ‘Am I having a heart attack?’ It worries me when people reply and say ‘It’s probably just anxiety.’ As we are not doctors we cannot know that and I believe it is dangerous in these cases to try to diagnose. We can still be supportive, however.
If members are becoming exasperated about the health anxiety posts, maybe the time has come for it to have a completely separate section of the site, dedicated specifically for these problems. I am not trying to sideline it. In fact it would probably be the most popular section of the site.
I have been prompted to write this post by the clashes I sometimes see on threads which makes me sad. Maybe this idea would put a stop to that? We are all here to support each other, whatever our fears. All sufferers of panic should be treated equally here.
Rain as you know, I suffer from HA and have done so quite acutely over the years.
Your post is very powerful and beautifully written, as ever.
However, why do you want to section off a part of the community that exists here in conjunction with other people suffering other mental health issues? The danger with this is that you preclude a balanced approach to the posting of the threads and that those of us suffering health anxiety become partitioned off merrily posting and feeding each other's anxiety. This increases the risk of sufferers mutually offering advice and diagnosis when really it should not happen - mutual support is the only thing that we can offer here.
When I am really bad I do not want to read posts that only actually are replied to by other HA sufferers, I want balance, I want the proverbial "kick up the bum" sometimes.
I will admit here and now Rain, I nearly died once from a REAL PHYSICAL ILLNESS and so have sat on both sides of the fence. Today is the first day that I have mentioned this on NMP and it will also be the last since that part of my life has coloured so much of my HA problems.
Why is HA any less valid a mental health issue than agoraphobia?? For example, you managed to go to the dentist for treatment yet still consider yourself to be a sufferer of social anx & agorophobia - why then is it any different for a HA sufferer ??? Did you only want fellow sufferers to support you with your struggle to get out and get your teeth seen to? Potentially you could have been so freaked out by their responses that you would not have gone but I think that you had balanced replies to your threads which I guess helped you get motivated to get out of the house and get your teeth sorted (well that and the horrible pain too :ohmy:)
You know that I am a fair and balanced person and do try to support everyone as much as I can on here but equally I take no offence at other members posting on my threads telling me to buck up - balance of opinion is an important part of life and sometimes, just sometimes, it sparks personal debate and insight which can help the sufferer.
As a HA sufferer who has had therapy which has helped me enormously in a large part but I still have major wobbles - like my post last night. I need and respect the whole NMP community to help me or not as the case may be when I have to post.
Things change Rain, NMP has changed even in the short time I have been here - but the availability of a support network remains a constant that Nic has provided us with.
I would be very sad to lose the help and support of the community and to be sectioned off as you seem to be suggesting.
I agree Rain. People shouldn't label themselves as HA or Agoraphobic as if anxiety lasts long enough you will travel along the whole spectrum of anxiety. WE ALL HAVE ANXIETY. we are frightened. frightened of one thing or everything.
Everyone needs to remember whatever one person is afraid of and you are not, they still feel the crippling fear and pain you are. Who cares what they are scared of it's still fear.
Even if its a fear of spiders and you can't relate. Remember they wake with the same feelings of doom, They shake from head to foot with adrenalin. Fear is a universal feeling. Your problems are no worse than anyone else's as the outcome is the same FEAR
Be kind and empathize if you don't understand the worries of others we can all relate to crippling fear. Just keep that in mind.
macc noodle
19-02-12, 18:01
Just to clarify the whole point of my reply to Rain's thread which i put up earlier - as in real life, I would like NMP to reflect the diversity of opinion offered by all sections of that community.
As in real life, we will not always agree on the replies received and we may be misinterpreted but on the whole we all get along ...........
As a HA sufferer I do not want to be marginalised into a section of the site that is expressly for us to mutually convene and moan about our worries - I want balance, I want opinion from all aspects of our community.
That is all............................................... ........
I have suffered from health fears and when I've been in full swing I've need to hear its just anxiety
nomorepanic
20-02-12, 00:43
We have had this discussion recently on another thread where I said that I did not want NMP turning into a site all about HA.
I created it as a Panic and Anxiety website and to be honest HA is a completely different ball game like OCD is (for eg) and it does need a specific site for that.
I can see that HA and anxiety do overlap in some areas but on the whole I see HA as a completely different illness to panic attacks and at the moment most of the posts are HA related and I know of several members that have left recently saying it is too depressing to come on here anymore and every post is about cancer, brain tumours, death etc and I do have to agree.
At the moment we have not found a solution so I, like others, try to avoid reading the HA posts as I find some of them frustrating.
This (like Macc) is born out of frustration from neary dying and realising how precious life is.
I have a few thoughts which I felt I ought to share because this links into other observations which have made me think.
I've noticed the "views" in the Health Anxiety section have been on the increase and my feeling is that it could be a symptom of the world we live in. People are feeling increased stress due to cutbacks, losing their jobs, the finances needed to survive and the added pressures they're having to endure in the workplace to keep performing.
When people feel added stress, the stress often makes them feel trapped but they can't run away from it so every worry is amplified. I've often described it like "the parrot in the cage". When the parrot is stressed and feels trapped with nothing to occupy its mind, it turns on itself by pulling its own feathers out. Likewise, whenever we feel stressed in similar situations I think we turn on ourselves and start analysing every little health worry that surfaces until we make ourselves panic at which point we then start looking for reassurance to relieve our fears.
However, the reassurance doesn't last and because we're feeling so stressed, in time another health anxiety will surface making us need to look for further reassurance and so on in a cycle.
I know it is often mentioned on nmp that an anxiety sufferer shouldn't "google" and start looking up their symptoms, and for good reason, because every symptom we feel can be caused by any number of reasons but sufferers will always look for the worst and therefore make their own anxiety symptoms rocket. Also, very often the symptom that has caused the person to worry has actually been caused by their own anxiety so any additional panic will only make their symptom feel even worse.
I know this next bit could be controversial because people will look in the health anxiety section to see if anyone else has suffered the same symptoms i.e. is the symptom being caused by their anxiety. In effect though, sufferers are looking in the health anxiety section just as they would on "google" because they're seeking reassurance. The knowledge they gain from knowing they are not alone with a symptom is fine but there is absolutely no way anyone can tell for certain what is causing their symptom. Therefore, I do feel having the health anxiety section only helps to fuel a sufferers anxiety just as "google" does but there is one very easy answer that would solve this but it could also be the controversial part -
- Remove the Health Anxiety section and replace it with a list of symptoms that are caused by anxiety with a note saying "If you are at all concerned with a health worry that isn't going away, you Must consult your doctor because they are the Only ones who will know what is causing it. People here can only empathise with how you're feeling because we're all purely anxiety sufferers", although I realise that's not entirely true. This wouldn't mean people can't still add health worries into their general posts though.
Personally, I never look in the health anxiety section because I don't want to create lots of added worries which I know will increase my anxiety.
HA is a completely different ball game like OCD is (for eg) and it does need a specific site for that.
I can see that HA and anxiety do overlap in some areas but on the whole I see HA as a completely different illness to panic attacks
Why is HA any less valid a mental health issue than agoraphobia?? For example, you managed to go to the dentist for treatment yet still consider yourself to be a sufferer of social anx & agorophobia - why then is it any different for a HA sufferer ???
I've often noticed on here how anxiery sufferers sometimes can't understand what another anxiety sufferer is worrying about because they've never experienced their particular fear. However, when it comes to anxiety, there are not different illnesses or even an illness as such. What happens when we catch a cold? Some people will get the sneezes but others will get blocked up. They are all just symptoms and coping mechanisms under one "condition" that we all suffer from - "FEAR".
When someone suffers from health anxiety, they feel frightened of dying. When someone suffers from OCD, they are using the coping mechanism because they are frightened of something bad happening to themselves or those they care about. If someone is sufferng from panic attacks, they are afraid of passing out. All are connected by "fear" and "fear" is perfectly NATURAL. We just focus on our fears So much that we make ourselves "FEEL ill" when we're not. If we take our minds off our fears, we would feel fine. Our anxieties are all created by fear that is created within our own minds which is why I say the cure to anxiety is FREE. We have the cure within ourselves. Events have just caused us to lose it so often we need someone to help us find again but we can easily do this for ourselves if we feel strong enough.
The other day I was in a supermarket queue waiting to pay. In front of me there was an elderly woman and beside her was her friend. The friend happened to notice something in a paper about a person who had died due to drug and alcohol addiction. This friend then turned to the other woman and simply said 2 words - "Silly woman". The woman she had spoken to then reached the counter to be served and all she asked for was a packet of cigs.
Don't get wrong, I'm not highlighting the issue about smoking. What I'm trying to highlight is how people in general can understand one thing but not another even though they are connected, in this case the subject of "addiction". You could say that if one was silly, so was the other or you could say neither were silly because they both suffered an addiction.
This is very true about the forum. I've often noticed how people don't understand each others worries even though they both suffer from anxiety. One such case I can remember was the subject on suicide. Sme people thought it was the easy and selfish way out while others thought it took lot of courage or they were simply too ill to think of the consequences.
Does everyone understand why someone self-harms? I doubt it because often people can't until they've experienced it themselves. For me, it was simply a way of relieving emotional pain by making it physical so I could feel something other than emptiness and numbness.
Anyway, I said I can't post in the main part of the forum anymore so I think I've said enough.:hugs:
Well said Bill xx,I am sufferer of panic,anxiety and PTD,I come on site to meet people and take my mind off troubles,we all suffer in our own way.
Petra xx
macc noodle
20-02-12, 07:27
As a long term HA sufferer I have a few viewpoints on this - as I think you may all have already noticed!!
Under normal circumstances, I consider myself to be relatively intelligent and and a balanced member of society BUT when I am suffering with a wobble over my HA worries, all rhyme and reason goes out of the window ............ I fight every inch of the way not to google symptoms, not to constantly check myself etc.
My therapist believes that using a site like this when you are suffering an attack is actually just reinforcing the situation since you are seeking reassurance which is a big no no (sadly) when you are using CBT as a tool to cope with the problem. So, in theory, each time we post about our HA problem, we are actually undoing the "brain training" that the CBT is trying to instil into our memories to make the attacks fewer and fewer.
HA is a horrible way to be and when it is at its most uncontrollable is untenable for the sufferer and those around them.
Generally if we could all consider walking a mile in someone else's shoes then maybe our ability to understand their fears and the root cause of their panics and anxiety would be enhanced although the complexity of mental illness should not be underestimated.
When you suffer HA the blind panic attacks and hypersensitivity to all stimulus about illness around you is heightened and extremely unpleasant. I have to admit I do lose all perspective and ability to listen to a balanced argument about the problems I am experiencing. So maybe there is an argument for trying to reduce the level of posting that goes on in here since we are running the risk of feeding other people's anxiety as well as our own?
Maybe I am somewhat of a conundrum in this since I do not fit neatly into the box marked HA sufferer (as perceived by non sufferers). I have suffered depression in my 30s which I have successfully dealt with (but had a complete breakdown first of all), I did nearly die from peritonitis but thankfully survived that and I have suffered GAD for more years than I care to remember, suffer claustrophobia majorly (I think I am the only person I know who hyperventilated when her central locking locked all by itself and all I needed to do was press the key to release it but no I had a full blow panic attack !!!) and then can add HA to that triggered by ...... well who really knows - triggered by whatever expert I am talking to about my situation at any given time.
Do I get a sense of relief (ie., that there are lots of people in the same boat as me) when I look at the overwhelming number of HA posts on NMP ?? No not really, I actually despair that there are so many people suffering what is really horrible and am saddened that it appears to be so widespread.
Do I feel frustrated by the number of people who post and repost and just do not listen to the advice that is being offered? Yes I do - because I can see myself in each and every one of them 12 months ago. Because if nothing else, I think I have now learned if you can find one glimmer of hope to release you from the chains of HA then you need to grab it and see where it takes you.
Would I miss the ability to post in here when I am at the end of my tether ? Hell yes I would !!! Despite doing it flying in the face of the therapy I have embraced :( and am still trying to practise.
As an HA sufferer I will admit that I rarely visit Chat anymore simply because I cannot cope with trying to support someone in a deep crisis and they are not listening to what you yourself would be trying to do if you were experiencing that fear/anx/panic etc We are not experts just sufferers and all bring our own life experiences to the table but at the end of the day there is only one way out of HA and that is via the medical community with support and counselling or CBT or meds or whatever works for you - in just the same way as any other illness.
NMP provides a temporary prop which is much appreciated but should never ever be taken as a substitute for genuine medical or mental health support.
Macc Noodle
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS Do I value all the help and support I have been offered in here by so many people - ABSOLUTELY
paula lynne
20-02-12, 12:49
"You are unique. Just like the next person"
I try to live by that mantra. I dont come on here much these days for various reasons, but like all of you, Im glad NMP is available to us, and have made lots of good friends along the way as I progress on my journey with anxiety and panic.
We all have our demons, and are all here for the same reason.....support. If we repect each other, we wont go far wrong. Have a good Monday everyone x:)
speckles69uk
20-02-12, 13:32
Excellent post Bill, I think you've hit the nail on the head with those comments. x
WhichCancerThisTIme
20-02-12, 14:26
I dont "imagine" my symptoms i actually physically feel the pains. I turned to this site for company from other people in similar situations and try and empathise with everyone. If you look at the number of people viewing the ha section then you will see its more than all the others. I have enjoyed coming on here and trying to offer help and support to others regardless of what their anxiety may be. I now feel cornered and scrutinised about what i might post and i will now delete all my posts and cancel my account. When i thought i had found a community to help me it looks like i am just back on my own. Thanks nmp!
speckles69uk
20-02-12, 16:10
WCTT, nobody is saying you are "imagining" your symptoms at all, far from it. I have Panic attacks and those symptoms are very real. We're all here on a common ground, we want support and it's comforting to know that other people are going through similar situautions. I think the main issue of concern that has been raised with the HA section is that sometimes it can be seen as a 'trigger' or exasperate our symptoms in that it can actually do more harm than good and hinder our recovery, we all want help and support otherwise we wouldn't be on this site. Maybe there could be a 'sister' site so that the community of HA sufferes does not feel threatened. Nobody wants to seclude anyone. Please stay with us WCTT. Wishing you all the best. x
eeyorelover
20-02-12, 17:20
Believe it or not, every member of this site has suffered from health anxiety at least once! I know this because it's part of the process in dealing with anxiety. There isn't one of us here, when we first started having symptoms, that didn't swear it must be something else! Who in the hell could believe that anxiety can cause all the physical symptoms that come along with anxiety!!!
I think the difference is that some of us never get over that feeling that there has to be another underlying condition that is causing all that we are experiencing.
I've been there and I can't tell you how many times a simple headache caused me to worry I had a brain tumor....
Or that my IBS (diagnosed several years after anxiety symptoms) HAD to be colon cancer or an obstruction....
Blurry vision.....I SWORE I was going blind.
Extreme?? Absolutely!!
But no different than any other anxiety sufferer who goes through test after test KNOWING that something will be found that can be treated with a pill or procedure to get rid of the symptoms that are plaguing them!
We have had this discussion recently on another thread where I said that I did not want NMP turning into a site all about HA.
I created it as a Panic and Anxiety website and to be honest HA is a completely different ball game like OCD is (for eg) and it does need a specific site for that.
I can see that HA and anxiety do overlap in some areas but on the whole I see HA as a completely different illness to panic attacks and at the moment most of the posts are HA related and I know of several members that have left recently saying it is too depressing to come on here anymore and every post is about cancer, brain tumours, death etc and I do have to agree.
At the moment we have not found a solution so I, like others, try to avoid reading the HA posts as I find some of them frustrating.
This (like Macc) is born out of frustration from neary dying and realising how precious life is.
I find this very odd. No matter what the cause OCD, HA or any other kind of fear its Anxiety and panic. Anxiety and panic stems from fear. Anxiety is fear no matter what the cause. I find it very strange the concept of what is true anxiety and what is not. Anxiety is a reaction to a fear no matter what it is. If people find it too depressing they shouldn't look at the HA section. If the chat room is all HA make more rooms one for 'Just Anxiety' whatever that is and one for HA.
Anxiety is Anxiety even OCD its in the spectrum of Anxiety. If you start saying to people sorry we don't want your fears and worries that trigger your anxiety here I find that shocking.
This is a brilliant site purely because there is something for everyone with Anxiety.
I say keep up the excellent work and keep it for everyone.
nomorepanic
20-02-12, 18:41
GT - the way I view the forum is Active topics not by reading each forum. The active topics are predominantly about death and severe illnesses.
We do not allow multiple rooms in chat as it cannot be moderated.
Maybe I shouldn't have worded it that I do not want HA posts on here - maybe I should have said I don't think we should allow so many posts about illnesses that people clearly never get and very unlikely to.
I am not sure of a solution as yet. I am not perfect so I am thinking things through. All I am saying is that more and more members/ex-members/current members/friends etc are telling me they don't come on NMP as much now as it is too depressing and it never used to be like this.
People are using it more like a medical site and wanting answers about medical conditions and problems that we cannot give.
miss polly
20-02-12, 18:56
Surely this site is a reflection of what the majority of people want and suffer from? If the majority of posts are now about HA then it's either because there are an awful lot of HA sufferers (who up till now have suffered alone) or HA is a major component of panic and anxiety.
As an HA sufferer I've found NMP to be invaluable. Firstly it's made me feel less alone and secondly it's a place I come to when I'm feeling desperate. Sometimes it simply helps to air your fear. Keeping it locked inside makes it fester and grow into something all encompassing, but by letting it out here it seems to lessen the fear somewhat. I do hope NMP continues to support all us HA sufferers.
I do agree Nicola, being new to the site and in fear of getting my head ripped off.
Anxiety is fear whatever the reason, but different people suffer different symptoms, HA, never had a problem with dispite dispute, but on the toss of a coin I have a panic disorder, possibly caused by various things, but not my health.
Being a new member I dont feel that Im justified to have much input, but I do feel there are some very caring people here and that has helped me.
I do have to say that reading some threads and even chat to be quite traumatic, how far does a panic site go into mental illness, because actually reading some threads and what people are 'feeling' scares me.
People who have mental health issues that perhaps are to much for others to read, sets their own panic situations higher.
I'm not the easiest of people and I have my many and long list of faults, but as a new comer, I have found this site quite scarey but have made a few good friends in my short stay.
Macc is right, the site you use wisely,my Doc has also told me not to use it as its 'not theraputic' to a healthy recovery, I'll sit back and watch, take care all
It's the ontological argument of anxiety disorders...
I don't mind the odd post just to ask "do you reckon I should visit the doc", it's when people repetetively ask and nag for answers and post about more and more different things or even the same thing over and over again...
My comments got a negetive response on the other thread but I still reckon an informal limit on these kinds of posts would help someone know when they are starting to feed their own problem. Like, I an HA allowance. Not to sanction the person of course, just to point them back towards the path to betterness, but that's only my thoughts. No one can ever be right about stuff like this :-)
I'm pretty new to the site and feel that as much as people with health anxiety need support some people rely on the site and others to diagnose or cure their issues and I think that's where it becomes unhealthy and a problem. It could be hard though for the people who run the site to draw a line as isn't neccesarily the HA threads that cause the problems it's the results that people expect from the other members.
I personally joined this site to know that there are other people that feel like me as I don't know anyone in the 'real world' who suffers and understands. I have asked questions to get other's opinions and given my advice on topic but that is all we can give - advice.
It is good to know that people are likeminded as in 'life' people carry on with theirs lives and forget you. Its good to know that others have problems, but and dont take this as nasty but self pity is a distructive thing, perhaps its just my read on it. I have tried to help others on here and its just round and round in circles, they dont want to hear, Im happy to take advice, work on it and move on, others just seem to want to wallow in pity and do nothing, I have times when I get so low, when I havent left my house for a few days and have met some great people on here who have given good, sound advice, as with my brother and his addiction, you can only help them that will accept it, as earlier stated, we aint the doctors we are the sufferers, no site offers a cure,only you can make it better
---------- Post added at 19:46 ---------- Previous post was at 19:43 ----------
very true Lost
I am not sure of a solution as yet. I am not perfect so I am thinking things through. All I am saying is that more and more members/ex-members/current members/friends etc are telling me they don't come on NMP as much now as it is too depressing and it never used to be like this.
I understand and do sympathise. It must be a huge job and i and many are so greatful for all you do. Perhaps a call out in the forum for suggestions on how people think the threads should be managed and such. Alot of very intelligent people use the site. I bet someone could really help out with an excellent solution.
Please dont take my post the wrong way i appreciate you and this site so so so much x x x x
---------- Post added at 20:07 ---------- Previous post was at 20:03 ----------
HEY NICOLA I HAD AN IDEA!
OH I JUST THOUGHT! (i know i was shocked too) perhaps if there are threads that you feel are very good you could pin them and the rest could disapear after a month or even less time, Could you set that up as if something is a good and useful thread pin it, and if its a rehash or repeat of another it could after a month or less disapear as the sufferer would have got there answer by then and its removal wouldnt matter as the info on good threads is there and the worried party has there answer. maybe?
X X X X
Hi everyone,
I've been reading this thread with interest and thought I'd share a little of my take on it.
I certainly don't think there's a right or wrong answer as anxiety is too complex a beast to be neatly categorised. Having said that, I don't suffer from health anxiety. I've suffered from general anxiety most of my life with irrational and debilitating worries about anything from work and my personal life to why did my car make that funny noise this morning (doubtless a £1000 bill coming my way as well as another sleepless night). You get the picture! My anxiety causes real, impairing symptoms from the mild to full on anxiety attacks. When some of these symptoms become persistent, I find myself worrying if it's something more serious. Here lies the crossover with HA and why it's hard to label.
I understand the frustration with the 'have I got cancer' questions, especially when asked repeatedly. Obviously, no-one on here can answer these; all we can do is to guide people to make logical decisions about their own health.
I'm not sure there's a clear solution. I use a lot of PC forums and there are strict protocols about starting threads similar to previous/recent ones. Threads are frequently closed and posters pointed to others. I'm not necessarily saying that would work here and it could be a pig to manage. Just an observation.
One final point, I agree with GT above; Nicola, what you've achieved is inspiring and has helped thousands of people. There'll always be difficulties but never forget what a star you are.
Take care all
Pip x
WhichCancerThisTIme
20-02-12, 21:26
I've had to come back on here to put in my final 2 cents worth before my account is closed tomorrow. Who is qualified enough to rank the anxiety spectrum? Why don't you then put them in decreasing importance on the forum main page..obviously with health anxiety being the lowest one. If you don't understand health anxiety...why look in that section. I dont browse the ocd part or whatever because i dont need to. What next, tell us we can't use the NHS to have tests done because we may use crucial resources? People with health anxiety might have other issues. Like myself, i had a lot to bring to this site and advice or an ear to offer people. I've had bulemia, depression, attempted suicide, panic attacks, self harm, anxiety stemming from childhood...but i came on here to get help with what is currently my main problem which is health anxiety. This came about also because i almost actually died too. This resulted in me becoming anxious over every pain because the hospital failed to help me when i was not well and it resulted in almost complete organ failure. This then has knock on effects as i dont like going out of the house....but i HAVE to..i have to work, i dont want to be a burden and i have a child who needs me to be the best human i can be.
I fear that people with HA are going to get pushed aside because forum moderators only have had general anxiety or a bit of social phobia etc and cannot relate to what a HA sufferer might actually be going through. Its not just a case of 'which cancer this time'. I really wish all the HA sufferers love and my thoughts are always going to be with them with this debilitating problem. I wish everyone with anxiety problems the same.
Anyway, I hope you have felt a sense of achievement as I am now back on my own. Just remember your solitude as what goes around comes around.
macc noodle
20-02-12, 21:34
I've had to come back on here to put in my final 2 cents worth before my account is closed tomorrow. Who is qualified enough to rank the anxiety spectrum? Why don't you then put them in decreasing importance on the forum main page..obviously with health anxiety being the lowest one. If you don't understand health anxiety...why look in that section. I dont browse the ocd part or whatever because i dont need to. What next, tell us we can't use the NHS to have tests done because we may use crucial resources? People with health anxiety might have other issues. Like myself, i had a lot to bring to this site and advice or an ear to offer people. I've had bulemia, depression, attempted suicide, panic attacks, self harm, anxiety stemming from childhood...but i came on here to get help with what is currently my main problem which is health anxiety. This came about also because i almost actually died too. This resulted in me becoming anxious over every pain because the hospital failed to help me when i was not well and it resulted in almost complete organ failure. This then has knock on effects as i dont like going out of the house....but i HAVE to..i have to work, i dont want to be a burden and i have a child who needs me to be the best human i can be.
I fear that people with HA are going to get pushed aside because forum moderators only have had general anxiety or a bit of social phobia etc and cannot relate to what a HA sufferer might actually be going through. Its not just a case of 'which cancer this time'. I really wish all the HA sufferers love and my thoughts are always going to be with them with this debilitating problem. I wish everyone with anxiety problems the same.
Anyway, I hope you have felt a sense of achievement as I am now back on my own. Just remember your solitude as what goes around comes around.
Dear WCTT
Sorry that you are leaving - your posts are very powerful and will be missed - this is an important debate right now for HA sufferers and their future on NMP.
I do think that HA is very very hard for anyone to understand unless they have suffered it themselves. People who have not experienced it just don't get why "we do this to ourselves" which is quite laughable really since the same can clearly be applied to other forms of mental illness if we are going to treat HA in this way.
At the end of the day, if we had a broken leg the doctor would fix it with tried and tested methods, mental illness on the other hand is not so easy to repair - it requires understanding, patience and hard work. EVERYONE who suffers with a mental illness, and Health Anxiety is most definitely in that category, deserves a voice that can be heard ...........
I am 100 times better than I was a year ago........................ but yes I do still have major wobbles ..................... I am a work in progress and probably will always have a propensity to panic at every little twinge and ache................... but I am hopeful of continued improvement and wish the same for all on here :bighug1:
bottleblond
20-02-12, 21:36
I am a forum administrator and i suffer with HA. I have done since i was a teenager and i am now 40. I haven't been around for a bit as i didn't have computer access but if you have a problem then please pm me as this is not the proper complaints proceedure.
Regards
Lisa
NMP administrator
Hey guys anxiety is anxiety no matter what form in manefests itself. we are all members of this site for the same reason....to get help and support, and to give it when we can.
We should not seperate one problem from another, nor think one is more important than another.we are all in the same boat here, and i for one find this site very helpfull, and have made many friends here, but we all have different issues.
i do not suffer health anxiety, but i still need support, i feel for anyone suffering anxiety of any kind, and will continue to give support where i can
nomorepanic
20-02-12, 22:40
I think some people are missing my point here.
I am not saying that HA sufferers are not welcome on here I am merely saying that I created a site called "No More PANIC" and it was for panic attack sufferers.
If you have OCD then you would probably go to the site "OCD UK" as you know that it will be with like minded people.
Why would I continue to run a forum in such a way that it makes me not even want to read the posts anymore?
I am looking at options including the possibility of members being able to put some forums on an ignore list but I have no idea if such a thing can be done as yet.
Thanks to those people that posted and can actually agree with me and see my side of things as well.
I also am a member of Anxiety Zone's Health Anxiety forum.. They are very welcoming on there. Just a thought for those who are looking for an alternative health anxiety forum. This is a great site, but it's upsetting that HA suffers are made to feel that we are somehow ruining this website/forum. Makes me very sad as I've found it an invaluable tool in the past. :(
nomorepanic
20-02-12, 23:06
I am only saying it like it is luv2teach. People are leaving NMP because it is depressing.
I am NOT blaming this on HA sufferers I am blaming it (as I said before) on all the depressing posts and not all of these are from HA people.
I have also noticed that I need to move the male/female personal issues from underneath the HA forum as that implies they are related to HA which they are most likely not.
I will move that to the symptoms forum I think.
I will look at that site - thanks
Hi nicola.. I totally understand that it can seem very depressing but sadly many of us wih HA are at a loss and have lost so much due to this illness that we are desperate for answers. And sometimes that desperation comes out as cries for help with brutal honesty on what we think we have or illnesses we are obsessed with. I am so grateful to you and this amazing site, it has comforted me on so many occasions. Whatever you decide to do, I will respect your decision. Thank you for all you do.
nomorepanic
20-02-12, 23:16
Thank you luv2teach - these things are never easy to sort are they lol
william wallace
20-02-12, 23:39
This can of worms could easily be closed.
If you don't suffer with HA, and you get frustrated by folks that have it, don't look at the posts, and don't make comments:)
Hear!Hear!. Will I agree with you:)
nomorepanic
21-02-12, 00:22
You are missing the point William but hey ho
william wallace
21-02-12, 00:40
You are missing the point William but hey ho
I don't think I am Nicola, if folks are leaving the community because they don't like reading stuff from HE sufferers that's their problem. They don't need to read it:)
nomorepanic
21-02-12, 00:44
Do you ever look at active topics? Just read down the titles and you will see what I mean
nomorepanic
21-02-12, 00:45
I am not going to carry on debating this. I have said all I want to on the matter and am now looking into solutions that will suit people I hope!
william wallace
21-02-12, 00:57
Seems to be about 20% of all posts are on the HE page. NMP gave them that page to post about HE issues, they're using it:)
First time I've clicked on active topics. I generally look at the pages that relate to my own issues Nicola, and only comment if I'm sure that I know what I'm talking about:noangel:
nomorepanic
21-02-12, 01:08
You mean HA not HE
I am perfectly aware of what I did Wiiliam and this is what I am now trying to sort.
Keep up the good work Nic.
miss polly
21-02-12, 12:06
Totally agree with you william! I don't read the posts that don't correspond to my issues ~ the clue is usually in the thread title. I do however understand that it must be a nightmare to keep everyone happy and Nicola does a great job. It's not her fault that people aren't able to distinguish the posts that are appropriate to them.
Just wondered Nicola, if this site was only intended for panic sufferers then why was a HA forum created? I'm not trying to debate just curious.
nomorepanic
21-02-12, 16:55
Mainly because all the posts went under the symptoms forum but these were not always Health Anxiety sufferers as such.
In hindsight I created too many forums and sub-forums but thought it was a good idea at the time lol
william wallace
21-02-12, 17:14
The HA page seems to be the most popular one on the whole site with 313 viewing at the moment. The panic page however only has 20, while general anxiety has 49. The symptoms page has 215 but that's spread over 5 pages. HA is definitely the most popular page on NMP:)
How many posts are made on top tips though? Tops Tips and Success Stories should be surrounded in little hearts and stars I reckon, bump up the popularity factor :D
Mainly because all the posts went under the symptoms forum but these were not always Health Anxiety sufferers as such.
In hindsight I created too many forums and sub-forums but thought it was a good idea at the time lol
As William said there are loads of people viewing the HA forum, so I guess you 'gave the people what they want' so to speak, but of course that comes with some negatives such as people wanting instant diagnoses and others being put off by morbid topics.
I for one have been grateful for the HA section on many occasions, its been a real help and also its been nice to help others.
The popularity of the HA section is mainly due to the nature of the illness. There are members that have made over 2500 posts in a year, and not ones helping other people, just restating their symptoms and looking for reassurance.
This is part of the problem, people with anxiety will often ask for advice, which is given, and they then act on it, so the threads tend to be shorter, they also dont repost the next day with the same question. HA sufferers often tend to ignore any advice given, and carry on with the same posts with the same worries.
Not saying this is their 'fault' it is just how the illness effects a lot of people.
The danger is that what was once a more general anxiety site will get swamped by the HA aspect.
People also need to realise that every post on this site costs Nicola money in server space. Having a large part of the server space filled up with what are basically duplicate posts from people that cant be easily helped, and to be honest, would probably be better served with a dedicated HA support forum, isnt going to help NMP to continue in the future.
eeyorelover
21-02-12, 18:20
I'm wondering if there is a way to help those people who are stuck in the thick of HA to make some sort of progress with it.
If there are that many members viewing and posting in the HA section, and since this is a support site, I'd like to find a way to help. I'm sure many others who have been there would too.
Perhaps that is a discussion worth having since it would benefit both HA sufferers and the one's who don't by helping fight HA and decreasing the number of posts in that section.
Anyone with any thoughts on this please PM me.
xxx
Sandy
macc noodle
21-02-12, 19:04
The popularity of the HA section is mainly due to the nature of the illness. There are members that have made over 2500 posts in a year, and not ones helping other people, just restating their symptoms and looking for reassurance.
This is part of the problem, people with anxiety will often ask for advice, which is given, and they then act on it, so the threads tend to be shorter, they also dont repost the next day with the same question. HA sufferers often tend to ignore any advice given, and carry on with the same posts with the same worries.
Not saying this is their 'fault' it is just how the illness effects a lot of people.
The danger is that what was once a more general anxiety site will get swamped by the HA aspect.
People also need to realise that every post on this site costs Nicola money in server space. Having a large part of the server space filled up with what are basically duplicate posts from people that cant be easily helped, and to be honest, would probably be better served with a dedicated HA support forum, isnt going to help NMP to continue in the future.
I was not going to post any further on this matter out of respect for Nicola's request earlier in this thread that she be allowed to figure this out for herself BUT I simply cannot ignore the comment posted by Mike, who is effectively one of her foot soldiers!
If you do not want any HA sufferers to post on here then simply close it down to them - do not allow any HA posts - they will then find other outlets to get support. It has already become very apparent that the level of threads being started is becoming too onerous and that it would appear that the preference is to exclude HA sufferers from having a voice in here.
If Mike wants the server space reserved exclusively for those anxiety sufferers who listen to the advice given, then that is the obvious solution since clearly we HA sufferers are not very good at that !!!! (I actually take exception to this sweeping generalisation and personally I only post when at my wits end - and each time I have and have received fantastic support from the NMP community at large for which I shall be eternally grateful)
If you are leaving the HA sufferers on the site, then the other solution may be to only leave their posts on the server for a limited period of time ?? I do realise that this then creates the scenario that repeat threads will be made but in all honesty, it may be healthier for these posts to be deleted within a short time frame given the general nature of the posts. Since I do fully understand how there is the real propensity for increased anxiety for sufferers when reading about other people's problems.
It does not really matter what you decide to do in the end because it is Nic's baby and she will do what she feels it is necessary to do, but please take some decisive action soon because in my opinion this discord is not what was intended when the site was created.
:D
I do agree with Nicola, this site states its a site for people with panic disorders, thats not mocking anyone who has other mental health issues, far from it.
I came here after I was told by my doctor I have a panic disorder, thats not making my condition anymore serious thatn anyone elses, but its a site I kinda felt was set for that kind of illness.
I have had to stop reading various threads as I find them disturbing and raises my panic, I dont think Nicola is pushing anyone out I think, I could be wrong, that this site is for panic sufferers, perhaps general mental health issues is to braod a stream for a panic site?
Im not going to comment on HA as im not interested in getting caught up in all this .Its been said many many times before on here .BUT AS FOR THE DUPLICATE POSTS .The same could be said about the Meds posts .Most of them are just repeats of someone elses questions .People need to look before they post a new thread .I doubt very much they will thou ...Fact of the matter is .YOU CANT PLEASE EVERYONE ALL OF THE TIME . Im sure Nic will do what she see,s is the best way forward for all .. :).Sue
I do agree with Nicola, this site states its a site for people with panic disorders, thats not mocking anyone who has other mental health issues, far from it.
I came here after I was told by my doctor I have a panic disorder, thats not making my condition anymore serious thatn anyone elses, but its a site I kinda felt was set for that kind of illness.
I have had to stop reading various threads as I find them disturbing and raises my panic, I dont think Nicola is pushing anyone out I think, I could be wrong, that this site is for panic sufferers, perhaps general mental health issues is to braod a stream for a panic site?
Months ago when I was suffering some physical symptoms brought on by depression and anxiety I typed 'Health anxiety' into google, and this site came up as the third or fourth site down. I have felt so much better form using it in this manner but feel like I shouldn't post about health-related things on here anymore!
I hope I haven't been an annoyance to anyone, I genuinely thought this site could be used to express concern over any of the issues relating to each individual forum.
I can see how it would be frustrating to keep replying to the same people about the same problems but that's the nature of the beast with HA, and its often helpful just to get the thoughts out.
Macc, my post was from the viewpoint of someone who does admin for the whole site, so sees most posts, and also spends their time deleting duplicate threads and posts.
The vast majority of these come from HA sufferers, and that isnt saying there arent HA sufferers who do take onboard advice, and offer others help, but there is also quite a large percentage who ignore all advice given, post every other day with the same concerns, and wont help themselves with any kind of treatment.
It isnt a question of excluding HA sufferers, or only allowing people who take advice, its getting a balance for the whole site for the good of ALL users, and not letting it move away from what it was originally set up for to the detriment of the huge amount of people it does help.
I understand that, and really from what I understand of HA its as disabiltating as any other anxiety, but never having been a sufferer do not understand it. Im a new member and found the wealth of peoples problems and thoughts quite overwelming and in part rather scarey.
All mental health issues need to be addressed, I do like the fact that i no longer feel abnormal with panic, but I have read posts that I have found quite disturbing and have had to leave, even chat gets so busy I freak at that.
This is a good site and lots of help is to be offered here, I understand that you found this site through googling HA, I dont know the answer to that one. No-one is less important, I do think that as a newbie and you are hit with so many things and problems when you join, it could be a bit to much for people who suffer panic
Sam66 I understand what you're saying, some things can be upsetting to read. I'm sure there's an answer about what to do and Nicola will do what she thinks is best.
I dont diss HA its a very serious illness, but this is a site for panic, for people that feel they are dying and other disorders, is this site right for them, for others that dont suffer HA can people that suffer panic cope, I have found huge help in the shorttime that I have been here, but so many problems with such a wide range of mental health issues, for a person with panic, which from what the site was aimed at, to much, meaning no offence for sufferers of other mental health problems.
best wishes
---------- Post added at 21:59 ---------- Previous post was at 21:40 ----------
I hope you overcome yours Paul x
miss polly
21-02-12, 22:17
Yes this site is for panic and people who suffer from HA are past masters of it. Looking back, all my panic attacks stem from a worry that there's something physically or mentally wrong with me. I thought the basis of all panic attacks was related to a health worry of some kind and that's why the HA forum is so popular?
anxiety doesnt stem from HA, panic is not about health issues,panic is panic its not about health, I've said my piece Ill shut up
---------- Post added at 22:35 ---------- Previous post was at 22:28 ----------
I have suffered panic, but not from health issues, my health issues are seperate from my panic, to me at the end of the day you take from the site what you will.I dont suffer with HA but I do suffer with panic, with the volumn of many mental health issues here Its very hard to find a common ground, I do sympathise with anyone who has an illness but for someone suffering panic, its just to much.
Regards
---------- Post added at 22:45 ---------- Previous post was at 22:35 ----------
nice post Paul :)
bottleblond
21-02-12, 23:01
I have deliberately not read this whole thread but i have read some small snippets and i want to add my opinion.
Anxiety/Panic/HA/Depression/OCD....etc etc etc all 'to my view' come under the same heading of 'Anxiety' because they are ALL anxiety related conditions.
Not one of us has the right to say that one condition is acceptable but the other is not because until you have walked a mile in a particular sufferers shoes, then we are not fit to judge. What makes one sufferer anxious may be a walk in the park to another but. Whether it be your health, going outdoors, being in a particular situation, worying about work, a loved one, being depressed about a situation, a death, a devastating situation etc...if it has effected your life to the point that you are on this forum and it helps you, then yes, it's a worthy place to be and we turn no genuine member away.
That's my input anyway
Lisa
xx
I agree Lisa and would never say that only certain people with particular problems are more entitled to use this site, it brings comfort to us all in different ways. Alot of the different forms of anxiety are linked and some people suffer from aspects of all different anxiety, like myself, I have bad health anxiety- although its got SO much better since finding this site - , depression, OCD and just general anxiety. And I've had many panic attacks too.
None of these feelings are more important than any of the others, and my worries and fears are no more relevant or worthy than any other sufferers on here. That is one of the good things about this site, that it helps us see we are not alone and can help people as well as receive advice.
Well said BB...it all comes under the same heading: anxiety (which is born out of fear).
The problem isn't the nature - ie the expression - of anxiety - whatever that may be - but the attitude of the sufferer, and it has been said here and in many other threads in the past, that advice is often ignored (along with the member posting advice/help) and just reguritated in another repeat post.
It all too soon becomes like a Groundhog Day which is not only frustrating for the HA sufferer but also for others reading active threads.
william wallace
21-02-12, 23:18
I'll shut up
Again?:)
bottleblond
21-02-12, 23:22
Sam, no one is telling you to shut up. You are entitled to your opinion as am I.
Well said BB...it all comes under the same heading: anxiety (which is born out of fear).
The problem isn't the nature - ie the expression - of anxiety - whatever that may be - but the attitude of the sufferer, and it has been said here and in many other threads in the past, that advice is often ignored (along with the member posting advice/help) and just reguritated in another repeat post.
It all too soon becomes like a Groundhog Day which is not only frustrating for the HA sufferer but also for others reading active threads.
But can't people just not read those threads? And not respond? Then maybe if the poster sees that no one is responding they will go elsewhere for advice and think that maybe no one here has anything more to offer them.
Nobody has to be part of a thread that doesn't appeal to them :shrug:
I can only go by what I think. im new here, from a newbies point of veiw, correct me if Im wrong, its been scarey for me, lots of people have been lovely but issues with mental health and my panic has scared me, perhaps I need to close my account here
No dont think you need to close your account but I guess its just unfortunate that certain things scare you on here - do you mean on the health anxiety forum or just in general?
But can't people just not read those threads? And not respond? Then maybe if the poster sees that no one is responding they will go elsewhere for advice and think that maybe no one here has anything more to offer them.
Nobody has to be part of a thread that doesn't appeal to them :shrug:
Well I don't respond any more because I rarely come on here as most of the time active topics comprise of the aforementioned kind of threads which I find depressing and frustrating, as I'm sure others do.
But yes, the answer is not to come on here and read the threads. I have nothing against HA sufferers - it's just a personal choice.
HA, ok not my thing, people wanting to harm children or thoughts of it, ok way off my scale, this isnt helping me
---------- Post added at 23:41 ---------- Previous post was at 23:40 ----------
far to depressing
Maybe this thread should be closed as can see people starting to get aggravated.We all fighting a battle.
Love Petra xx:hugs:
HA, ok not my thing, people wanting to harm children or thoughts of it, ok way off my scale, this isnt helping me
---------- Post added at 23:41 ---------- Previous post was at 23:40 ----------
far to depressing
I do understand. I've found some things overwhelming too, but I guess the people writing them are suffering and need help so thats why they are crying out. But you have to look after yourself so if you find its not helping then do what you can to make yourself feel safe. I hope you're ok x
nomorepanic
21-02-12, 23:50
Well I don't respond any more because I rarely come on here as most of the time active topics comprise of the aforementioned kind of threads which I find depressing and frustrating, as I'm sure others do.
But yes, the answer is not to come on here and read the threads. I have nothing against HA sufferers - it's just a personal choice.
This is my point exactly MM
nomorepanic
21-02-12, 23:51
Maybe this thread should be closed as can see people starting to get aggravated.We all fighting a battle.
Love Petra xx:hugs:
I disagree - these things need sorting. No-one is being abusive so no reason to close it
Mmmm. Just read this thread for the first time.
I joined this site because I suffer from an anxiety disorder, panic attacks and agoraphobia, also depression.
But I think I do suffer a certain degree of Health Anxiety caused by my anxiety disorder.
I have noticed an increase in HA posts but I just choose not to read them because they don't really relate to me and I don't want to develop HA as a result of reading them.
However, I do think that most people who suffer from anxiety worry more about EVERYTHING and that includes their health.
Like I said, I just choose to read the threads I think will be of interest or help to me and also the threads where I think I can be of some help/support.
That's my tuppence worth. :)
bottleblond
21-02-12, 23:54
Jings....
There's even threads that i don't read for reasons of my own and i am an admin. I am still human though and have my boundries. I would rather not read than read then critisize something i don't understand as there will be many other members that do.
Nicola, is it just the HA forum that is frustrating/depressing?
bottleblond
21-02-12, 23:56
Hi Haz and welcome along :hugs:
Sorry but cannot see any good coming from this.But I will keep quiet.
Petra x
nomorepanic
22-02-12, 00:06
Not the forum as such Crystal - the posts in there. I use active topics so when I logon in the morning I look down the titles and most are doom and gloom and death.
My heart went one day as I read a title that said something like "Well that's it I definitely have cancer". Only to read the thread and they hadn't been diagnosed but had decided they had it anyway and had self diagnosed with Dr Google.
Then I read "I am dying please help", "can't carry on living", "I have a brain tumour" and so on
I sometimes do not even read the posts but when you come to NMP as a non member and read "today's posts" (as that is all you can do) you base your decision on a site based on what posts are done that day.
I know this as I work with someone with schizophrenia and we were trying to find her a support forum. We went to one and read "today's posts" and based on that alone I said it was too depressing for her to be on there as it didn't seem like a support site but a moaning site and all doom and gloom.
It is easy to say to people "well don't read the posts" but like I said even the titles of the threads are depressing
Maybe I need to lay down some guidelines for thread titles and post content - not that most people pay attention lol
I don't find it difficult to use Active Posts and only read the ones I find relevant, but some users clearly do, although I really don't understand why? :shrug:
Its a difficult job I imagine for you Nicola as you've created something that is growing into something else. I suppose its hard to know where to draw the line with what people post if they are not being abusive, yet still upsetting people (unintentionally).
If there is an 'anything goes' policy where people can express their most extreme worries and dark thoughts then that may aggravate panic in people reading it and that doesnt help them then! Its so difficult. Don't know what the answer is. All I can say is I'm grateful this site exists, it is a real blessing.
nomorepanic
22-02-12, 00:18
I don't find it difficult to use Active Posts and only read the ones I find relevant, but some users clearly do, although I really don't understand why? :shrug:
Human nature means you read the posts Haz.
Let's face it if you read a title that said "DO NOT READ THIS" would you honestly ignore it and not read it :winks:
Not getting involved in this as I dont suffer HA and rarely post. Just wanted to say no matter what way this goes its impossible to keep everyone happy.. that will never happen. I apprechiate the effort that admin go to to keep this place running so however it goes I know it will be in the best interest for NMP.
Sar x
I honestly don't open them! i.e. Am I a Pedophile? Never read it and have no intention of ever doing so.
I do understand your dilemma though if you are getting complaints. :)
Nic:hugs:
I know this as I work with someone with schizophrenia and we were trying to find her a support forum. We went to one and read "today's posts" and based on that alone I said it was too depressing for her to be on there as it didn't seem like a support site but a moaning site and all doom and gloom.
Have you tried this forum for your friend? Rethink used to be called NSF (National Schizophrenia Fellowship) charity.
http://www.rethink.org/talk/index
I know you must be getting pretty fed up with this but I have a couple of thoughts I'd like to share.
Before the days of the Net, what did people do when they were worried about their health? They would talk to relations or friends. And what would they advise if they couldn't be sure what was wrong with the person? They would tell them to see a doctor, just as we in the virtual world would advise.
Sometimes I read posts from people who say they were reading a paper and something in it terrified them or they were watching TV and a programme came on that terrified them, and I'm left thinking why did they read the paper and why not turn the tv over or walk out the room? My feeling is there could be a couple of reasons - they freeze with fear and hope that by the time they reach the last line or the end of the programme there would be something to reassure them to take away the anxiety the article or programme has caused.
When I was in my teens I was having dinner while I was watching TV while my parents were sat at the dining table. A programme came on all about a particular illness and it terrified me so much that I couldn't touch the TV and I had to leave the room to be violently sic. When I came back my parents said I shouldn't be watching TV while eating dinner but I couldn't tell them what really happened. I think that if the Net was around in those days I'd probably be looking for reassurance over the Net because I'd be too afraid to ask anyone, not realising that I'd only be fuelling my anxiety. I think that maybe why so many people look online. That looking in itself is fear related.
I can quite understand how people will get so depressed about reading about illnesses, especially when the same things keep re-surfacing.
I was looking on the forum tonight and there were around 250 people viewing health anxiety and a further 150 viewing symptoms. I think the next closest were games at around 100 viewing. It's not surprising there are so many posts that result.
When you analyse health anxiety there are probably 2 groups within it. Firstly, you'll have those people who are experiencing symptoms which maybe being caused by their anxiety and secondly, those who will find something about their health unconnected to any type of anxiety symptom to worry about.
From this I still stand by what I suggested before about removing the health anxiety and possibly the symptoms section and replacing them with a list. For instance, heart palpitations are normally caused by increased adrenalin due to anxiety but the symptoms make people worry there is something wrong with their heart. Headaches are often caused by tension due to worrying but they make people worry it's something more. Tummy aches will be caused by IBS...and so on.
Therefore, if you listed these symptoms in place of the section, people will still find the reassurance they're looking for but of course you would also need a note to say that if these symptoms persist or there are any other health-related issues that keep worrying someone, they Must see their doctor.
This wouldn't mean that people can't ask about health anxieties in the general anxiety section but when they do, the note can be pointed out. Also, it might give the forum a less depressing appearance.
There is another suggestion though. You say you started NMP on the basis of panic and anxiety. I can understand this because often when someone suffers from anxiety, the anxiety can cause panic attacks. Therefore, another possible option for you would be to streamline nmp to focus entirely on panic-related anxiety only although I do feel many more people wouldn't like this option.
Sometimes I do think its kind of funny how we love to give different titles to different types of anxiety because really they're all caused by the same things - worry and fear - so in effect you could just have one big section that covers every worry under one title - anxiety.
Sadly, with anxiety, we'll always find something to worry about and depress ourselves with every day we get up because there will always be triggers whether in a paper, on tv, on the net, events in our lives or even in every day conversations because that's what life is.:hugs:
I confess to not having read all of this thread but for what it's worth, this is what I think...
Those who suffer with HA seem to range from mildly anxious about some usually trivial complaint to those who are genuinely concerned - often with good reason - that they are displaying symptoms of a serious or even life threatening illness.
It is those that fall into the former category that seem to pop up most on here and if I'm honest, I do find them a bit frustrating. This may offend some people but is it not at the heart of this matter a need to draw attention to themselves through what are generally imaginary illnesses?
Hypochondria is an illness in its own right but should it be given such prominence here?
Personally I don't think HA sufferers should be ostracised and I'm not sure there has to be a separate section in the forums for them. It's just something to consider...
macc noodle
22-02-12, 08:05
Lightbulb moment !!! May have been said before though ...............
Why not have a "seek medical advice" reply to all threads in the same way that you have "welcome" replies to newbies?
Macc
macc noodle
22-02-12, 20:11
I can only go by what I think. im new here, from a newbies point of veiw, correct me if Im wrong, its been scarey for me, lots of people have been lovely but issues with mental health and my panic has scared me, perhaps I need to close my account here
Sam
It would be a pity to close your account if you are getting benefit from being a member of this community.
Equally, I wonder how you would feel if your particular mental health problems were deemed to be out of place on NMP? As you have suggested through your posts.
We are all here for a reason and we all have benefitted from Nicola's stewardship of the ship. :yesyes:
We have to trust that Nicola makes the right decision for the community as a whole and stand by that decision, even if it is not palatable to all (and I say this as an HA sufferer).
Macc N
macc noodle, Im not belittling anyones illness, I just find HA disturbing for me as I dont suffer with it, yes you can say Im scared to go out, how silly is that and have actually had the mick taken out of me on here for it, but I have stuck with this forum, there are a great many people on here with various mental heath issues, this is why Im saying that perhaps its not for me, my issue is panic, I dont have thoughts of hurting others, am I a pediophile, im dying when actually they have done nothing to answer their questions but post on a forum where I dont think anyone is in a position to help with such fears, sorry thats just my opinion
Sam
---------- Post added at 21:00 ---------- Previous post was at 20:55 ----------
we all cope differently Paul, well done you for being positive x
miss polly
22-02-12, 21:39
Gosh! Some people seem to be very intolerant of other's anxieties! Although I don't tend to read the posts that don't pertain to my worries I'm very glad there is this site for them to come to. Some people have no one to talk to but the folk here. I posted a huge (to me it was huge!) health worry on here a while back and got a wonderful response which allayed my fears a great deal. I had been riding a wave of panic for months about it. I'd lost weight, felt sick etc etc and would have full blown panic attacks at the drop of a hat. That's what health anxiety does ~ results in attacks. Isn't this site called No more Panic? Are we only allowed to post here if we have panic attacks that are unrelated to health worries?
Take care Paul, I hope all goes well
with you x
william wallace
22-02-12, 22:02
macc noodle, Im not belittling anyones illness, I just find HA disturbing for me as I dont suffer with it, yes you can say Im scared to go out, how silly is that and have actually had the mick taken out of me on here for it, but I have stuck with this forum, there are a great many people on here with various mental heath issues, this is why Im saying that perhaps its not for me, my issue is panic, I dont have thoughts of hurting others, am I a pediophile, im dying when actually they have done nothing to answer their questions but post on a forum where I dont think anyone is in a position to help with such fears, sorry thats just my opinion
Sam
---------- Post added at 21:00 ---------- Previous post was at 20:55 ----------
we all cope differently Paul, well done you for being positive x
Sam, you keep bringing up the "Am I A Paedophile" thread as something terrible, but by your own admission you haven't actually read it. Perhaps you should, before criticising? It has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone actually being a paedophile, and is more of a heartbreaking case/s of young lass/es having very upsetting intrusive thoughts. You come over as unhappy with anyone who's issues are different from yours, that would mean cancelling abou 99% of the membership:)
sigh
---------- Post added at 22:10 ---------- Previous post was at 22:05 ----------
that really isnt the case, have stated many a time we all have issues, I give up im just trying t say as a newbie, its a tad depressing, we all got issues ,yes but some I find uncomfortable with me, Im my biggest critict, perhaps a person who suffers panic shouldnnt be on a no more panic site? just a thought
---------- Post added at 22:13 ---------- Previous post was at 22:10 ----------
William I bought the thread up twice and have no desire to read it, thats just me
macc noodle, Im not belittling anyones illness, I just find HA disturbing for me as I dont suffer with it, yes you can say Im scared to go out, how silly is that and have actually had the mick taken out of me on here for it, but I have stuck with this forum, there are a great many people on here with various mental heath issues, this is why Im saying that perhaps its not for me, my issue is panic, I dont have thoughts of hurting others, am I a pediophile, im dying when actually they have done nothing to answer their questions but post on a forum where I dont think anyone is in a position to help with such fears, sorry thats just my opinion
Sam
---------- Post added at 21:00 ---------- Previous post was at 20:55 ----------
we all cope differently Paul, well done you for being positive x
I dont want to state the bleeding obvious but if the HA section disturbs you then dont open it .
Bloody hell, 334 folks were browsing the HA section just now, and 11 the panic section... should 334 people with genuine anxiety over their health be cast aside to please 5 or so people in this thread who dont like their repetitive posting? Most of the threads on every section are repeats, you only have to look at the bottom of threads to see the ''related threads'' to see that. This is what anxiety does to people, it is about being stuck in a repetitive negative thinking cycle.
I think its incredibly harsh to even suggest that HA posting should be barred, controlled or restricted to only a certain number of posts per person, i am not a HA regular but i sure as hell have been frightened that i may have a stroke, brain tumor or whatever when i have been in some deep panics..its all related IMO and no one part of anxiety is more relevant than the other.
This forum IMO is perfect as it is, it caters for every aspect of anxiety, people can choose to not read or take part in any thread that doesnt interest them, or bores them, or that they have nothing to add.
why would I want to read 'am I a pedophile' sorry
---------- Post added at 22:16 ---------- Previous post was at 22:15 ----------
jesus im not saying ban HA
Only the first line of my post was directed at you, the rest was me and my general feeling on the subject, should have made that clear, soz about that :p
william wallace
22-02-12, 22:30
why would I want to read 'am I a pedophile' sorry[COLOR="blue"]
----
Well maybe if you actually read it you wouldn't find it so upsetting:D
because maybe, William other people find it disturbing and dont want to read such posts, perhaps I need to read a new line on this site and not venture into other peoples fears, perhaps you could give , I have no wish to harm anyone,some new people some slack that actually do suffer with panic and perhaps understand where they come from. I have no wish to harm anyone, Im not dying from something that isnt real, just panic, I have no intollererance to to others problems
Mmmm. I'm still thinking about this thread.
It seems to me that ALL forums have "heated debates" about things from time to time.
For example, I was recently thinking of switching from SKY to Virgin (which I did in the end). I found an AV Forum through Google to try and get some more info and help me decide, Jeez, you should have seen how "heated" some of the debates got over Satellite/Cable TV!!!
Everyone has different opinions and we can't always agree with each other all of the time.
Haz.
Haz you made me laff thankyou
Haz you made me laff thankyou
That's good. You're welcome. :D
because maybe, William other people find it disturbing and dont want to read such posts, perhaps I need to read a new line on this site and not venture into other peoples fears, perhaps you could give , I have no wish to harm anyone,some new people some slack that actually do suffer with panic and perhaps understand where they come from. I have no wish to harm anyone, Im not dying from something that isnt real, just panic, I have no intollererance to to others problems
Sam the people who post threads about wishing to harm others dont actually want to harm others, its just part of their intrusive thoughts. Same with the pedophile thread, its just the way its worded and a very real part of anxiety that people get very dark, unwanted thoughts.
The more I think about this the more annoyed I get (this isn't directed at you Sam). People with HA are genuinely scared and panicking about their health and so that is panic which is what this site is about. If people find those threads annoying or not worthy then the only sensible and logical thing is to not click on the heading "Health Anxiety", the same way I don't click on "Social Anxiety" because its not relevant to me.
And even if I read those posts and got annoyed by them then I would have compassion for the people writing them and wouldnt even think of suggesting that they shouldnt be writing those things - it may be that doing that is keeping them going.
Sorry to vent.:ohmy:
nomorepanic
22-02-12, 23:04
I have been looking at solutions to this problem and we "may" be able to implement a VBulletin add-on that allows people to add specific forums to an exclude list in their User Control Panel so they never see posts in certain forums.
There will be a bit of work for Alex to do as he wrote the "active topics" feature so we need to look into this so the solution won't be instant.
Perhaps this will sort out the problem for those people who do not want to read the HA forum.
It would also mean that members could ignore any other forum they are not interested in like the games one, for eg.
Watch this space anyway.
Thats a great idea Nicola :)
william wallace
22-02-12, 23:10
because maybe, William other people find it disturbing and dont want to read such posts, perhaps I need to read a new line on this site and not venture into other peoples fears, perhaps you could give , I have no wish to harm anyone,some new people some slack that actually do suffer with panic and perhaps understand where they come from. I have no wish to harm anyone, Im not dying from something that isnt real, just panic, I have no intollererance to to others problems
You're quite self contradictory there Sam, I've rarely read such a crock of nonsense on any forum. You attract controversy in the same way that shite attracts flies. Live and let live, and if you don't like the title of a thread, don't bloody read it:D
william wallace
22-02-12, 23:16
You are most welcome Madame:)
nomorepanic
22-02-12, 23:20
Please be nice to each other - there is no need for all this. Thanks
william wallace
22-02-12, 23:21
Sorry Nicola, Sorry Sam:blush:
i wasnt rude I just made a point of view that maybe other people see if others see that as offensive,
---------- Post added at 23:36 ---------- Previous post was at 23:34 ----------
you really are rather rude william, but hey
lucy devine
22-02-12, 23:39
sorry to just but into this whole conversation as i've not been active on the forums for a little while.
I really cannot believe what has happened to no more panic, I think it is absolutely ludicrous that health anxiety sufferers are being marginalised in such a way and told that they are not welcome on this site.
I do not feel anyone who has not experienced health anxiety should pass judgement on it not being 'a proper mental illness' until they have experienced it themselves. It appears as if people are in some form of competition to see who has the worst mental health problem or something....each and every on be it depression, health anxiety, social anxiety, agorophobia, panic attacks are so difficult to deal with in their own way and it is clearly obvious that health anxiety is rarely a stand alone illness, from experience health anxiety not only makes you feel like you are dying all the time but it causes panic attacks, depression and generalised anxiety and so warrants just as much support as any other mental health problem.
I still read up on facebook what is going on on here and I recently read that someone did a race for funds for this 'wonderful helpful website'. I am sorry and please correct me if I'm wrong but from the few posts i've just read, this site is no longer providing help of any sorts...it is one big stupid argument with supposed adults arguing over what warrants a serious enough mental health problem to be discussed on here.
I am really quite shocked at what this website has become. It was helpful and it did a lot for me when I was at my worst. I've made some amazing friends on here but for them to come to me upset about the fact that health anxiety sufferers are being stigmatised is absolutely disgusting and quite frankly reallly upsetting.
I really am disappointed :(
nomorepanic
22-02-12, 23:44
Lucy - you have completely missed the point - have you read the whole of this thread and the other one we had before about it?
How can you say this site is not helping anyone - I resent that comment and it is totally untrue.
Im bowing down, im not saying HA isnt a illness but i came here hoping for support for panic, please close my account on here, thankyou
Im bowing down, im not saying HA isnt a illness but i came here hoping for support for panic, please close my account on here, thankyou
Sam, when you post about your panic do you not get support from others? What are you upset about?
william wallace
22-02-12, 23:49
Don't do that Sam, NMP wouldn't be the same without you:hugs:
no one is saying HA is any less an illness, but is a panic site the best place for you yo get help?
It might be for some people, the question is, is it the best place for you to get help? If it isnt then maybe you could look at other ways of getting the help you need.
miss polly
22-02-12, 23:54
Wonderful idea Nicola! I hope it works out!
Well said William!
its really hard coming in as a newbie, you are met with so many poeple with issues, I wish you well :)
nomorepanic
22-02-12, 23:56
No-one needs to leave - except me maybe :roflmao::whistles:
Sam I wish you well too and hope you find the answers you need, dont feel that anyone has attacked you, as I said on your other thread we are all fighting a battle and should support each other x
venusbluejeans
23-02-12, 00:09
No-one needs to leave - except me maybe :roflmao::whistles:
Bye Nic, :D
I shall get everyone to write in a goodbye scrapbook for you, I am good at that :roflmao:
nomorepanic
23-02-12, 00:14
Thanks Emmz - do you want to take over lol?
I dont judge anyone, we all have demons to face, thats life :)
venusbluejeans
23-02-12, 00:19
Thanks Emmz - do you want to take over lol?
Emmz is now keeping quiet :whistles:
I think that sounds like a good idea nic
I actually feel a good strong online community on here and a huge amount of support because to be fair not many websites would actually listen and all decide together what is best for us all as suffers no matter what catagory we come under.
venusbluejeans
23-02-12, 00:24
I think that sounds like a good idea nic
.
what Nic leaving? :O sar you meanie
Emma climbs back under the rock she was hiding under for protection :D
ps, I know what you mean really, I am just in a strange mood :D
hahaha you in charge hmmmm lol that could be dangerous lol
nomorepanic
23-02-12, 00:33
I think we have kind of resolved this issue now if I can get it implemented. Members can choose to ignore certain forums if they want to so everyone is happy cos those that don't mind reading all the HA posts can continue to do so.
I don't think we need much more adding to this post now do we?
Certainly no more posts saying that HA sufferers aren't welcome because I have tried to accomodate everyone whatever they suffer from.
There are so many anxiety sites out on the internet that people can pick and choose which one they use and stay on. NMP is just one of many but I think it is one of the best but sometimes I need to keep it on track or I lose sight of what I wanted it to be.
I have said this many times on this thread that I am sorry if I upset HA sufferers and they felt excluded but some of the replies to this post have really upset me and I want to move on now and get a solution in place.
Thanks
Nicola,
Well said, I think that's an excellent solution which includes everyone. I think that resolves the issue, I hope others agree.
Pip
Wow! That was quick.
Well Done NMP! :)
I like the ignore feature - perhaps do a poll to see what people think?
It would be an interesting experiment to see if health anxiety threads start getting no replies whatsoever!
An ignore feature......oh.....where is that then ?
I'm not adding anything helpful or informative to this thread, just saying that I've read it all and it took blinkin ages ;o)
Wow! Read this whole thing (bored at work!!!). I like the idea of an ignore feature. Then nobody feels pushed away but people donit have to see threads that bother them or are uninteresting.
Being an HA sufferer, but also suffering from GAD and PTSD, I have been so happy to find this site.
nomorepanic
25-02-12, 16:43
The "exclude forums from view" has now been implemented. Please see this post:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=949776#post949776
That seems like an answer that will keep everyone happy. What a prompt solution! That's great going!:yesyes:
just asking can people join here when they create their own script rather han the basic one thats set out?
---------- Post added at 20:07 ---------- Previous post was at 20:06 ----------
than*
stripeypurplekat
27-05-12, 20:40
I think the HA section is good fOr people who worry. If you are in a state it's hard to think logically and clearly going on the Internet comes up with alsorts and because you are in a state you think you have the worst thig. When I had asked about things on here they always make me thug logically and realistically again. If they think I should go to the docs they'd say but they just give their honest opinion and it stops you from worrying NMP had stopped me from worrying about a ol of stuff bu obviously if I was worried about something big I'd go to the doctors but if it's something I've been to the doctors about before and I find myself worrying about it again I find it useful to ask on here
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