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Abarth
19-02-12, 23:11
Hey All
Just spent an hour on a post, only to lose it on a refresh! This will be shorter.
I am supposed to have excellent awareness of my HA. I work in a field that deals with ill health, amongst other things and I am trained in counselling as an HR professional. Please then, why do i sit here terrified that I have a variety of terminal illnesses and feel all of the symptoms that go with them?
At present my legs just feel like they are burning/prickling and i feel vague and other wordly all the time. My muscles are really weak and I feel so tired all the time. Had bloods, which were clear and GP says that anything serious would have impacted on these. On propranolol, which reduces adrenalin, but I am sure makes me tired/spacey. It got so bad at the w/end that I wound up talking to my gp on the phone and they prescribed an anti psychotic in a tiny dose, to calm me. Of course, i'm to frightened to take it, having read a set of potentially horrific side effects.
I so want to trust my gp and don't want her to lose faith in me as she has been great. However, my mind keeps demanding more tests/scans, which she says ars not necessary. It's driving me crazy. I am a fit 43 year old; how can I feel so unwell if there is nothing at all physically wrong?

nomorepanic
20-02-12, 00:10
Health ANxiety causes real aches and pains with no real problem if that makes sense.

I read a book about it and yes the pains are real but there is nothing wrong as such. It is just what happens to our bodies.

Beyonderz
20-02-12, 00:11
Hey there, I asked the same kind of question to myself when I had anxiety disorder for the first time, which came on surface as panic attacks in my case. I have always had HA but they always come and go.

My psychiatrist told me that such problems are basically the result of the battle between logic and emotions. He said that usually well educated people with perfectly working logic have anxiety disorders. One doesn't notice that conflict between logic and other emotions those want to come up from time to time. That's the reason.
It's always a good way to accept that HA and Anxiety disorder as a part of our lives, meanwhile trying to control it as much as possible. Instead of thinking "why it's happening to me?" or "Is it going to go on like this all my life?"...

If your doctor is interested enough, then that means you should trust her and at least try to relax. Many things can be detected with full blood tests. If they are clean, then it's totaly fine. You feeling weak and ill can be (most likely) related to anxiety, since it is known to make body feel weaker. We tend to stiffen our muscles a lot which makes it more tiresome. If you have pain and if it's not persistent, then it's also fine.

Hope you feel well

Pipkin
20-02-12, 00:26
Hi there,

You're asking the question we all ask ourselves but I have come to realise that there is no answer to this. By keep asking why is this happening and what's wrong with me, we are just confirming to our brains that there is indeed something wrong which makes us more anxious. I know there are lots of clinical reasons behind this but try to look back and see that all the times you thought you were seriously ill, you weren't and it was your anxiety making you believe this.

Sorry if it sounds a bit simplistic but I believe the key is to accept who we are and that anxiety makes us feel the physical symptoms and not to keep asking questions which have no answer, something I'm certainly guilty of.

Take care

Pip

purplehippo
20-02-12, 07:50
I can totally sympathise it makes life miserable doesnt itxxx
im the same as we all are try to rationalise my aches/pains weaknesses but sometimes its just to hard to do isnt it.
im pregnant at the mo,so if things arnt blamed on that it is my ibs or my anxiety,even with the 6 billion extra bloods ive had i still obsess that somthings not right even though many docs have seen them and dont worry i have all these conditions i convince myself of.
sometimes wish i had been a doctor so i could understand the body properly,a bit of knowledge(like many of us have) is worse than none at all isnt it!
saying try not to worry i know is a waste of time;)
have you tried keeping a symptoms diary,i was just mentioning it on another post and found it really hepls me in(therapy of writing down everything),and being able to show my gp everything in detail,mines very detailed(even down to how often and consistency of my bowel movements lol) docs might laugh! but least they are getting a full clinical picture! you can also maybe see a trend over time if your symptoms are worsening improving or everyday,living with HA you think its everyday but by being very honest in a journal like that its suprising some days are not as bad as others( i rate my pains 1-10) ect. i also put how scared i am on that day ,how stressed ive been,what ive done(just briefly) you can take this as far as you want to for your own peace of mind . ive found it helps alot .
in september i had a burning neck(convinced somthing terrible) i notice now i dont so feel better about that.
we have so many niggles its easy to forget when some go ,just as reassuring as keeping an eye on those that are really worrying us aswell.

xxxxxx

victor jara
20-02-12, 10:23
Hi Abarth, I can really relate to your struggles. I get totally pre-occupied with neuro symptoms and recently convinced I was struggling to chew food and feel breathless when talking, today these symptoms have eased up a bit but I was convinced that these symptoms and due to the muscle atrophy in arms that I have mnd.

I too have that dilema about pressuring my gp for more tests . I had booked appointment for this week and was going to ask to start again and try and find out what is wrong with me ,this was after extensive neuro tests last year that could not diagnose anything.

I too am a health professional but like you really struggle to be objective about myself. One thing I am aware of Abarth is that for me there are some underlying issues around my relationship, family and how I am livining my life at present that contribute significantly to my anxiety.

I wish you well and wanted to say that I found your reply to my post last week very helpful.

Take care Victor.

Abarth
20-02-12, 15:04
Thankyou all for your well informed and kind replies. They have certainly given me some more food for thought. The worst thing is that the minute I provide a solution for my problem, my body comes up with something more complex to challenge my mind. In the end we find ourselves almost trying to dupe our bodies into accepting our preferred version of what is happening to us, and so the merry go round starts. Just the time spent on increasingly sophisticated coping strategies is totally exhausting. I have found that in the past, the test results have eased my mind for a couple of years, but my GP isn't too keen on this occassion and I am stressed to push it too hard. In any event, I am not sure what to ask for; a full body MRI? Brain scan? I just don't know given the variety of symptoms I have been having. I do agree that there is invariably an underlying issue which our minds/bodies somatise into physical manifestations, but that we are sometimes reluctant to face for whatever reason. Perhaps this requires more attention? I remain reluctant to take such powerful drugs as anti psychotics. Aside from anything else, this would in itself serve as an acceptance that the problems are entirely pyschological, and I'm not there yet to be honest.
Here's hoping that with perseverence and each other's support, we can overcome this awful affliction.
Ant

Pipkin
20-02-12, 15:27
Hi Ant,

There's no doubt we can overcome this. If I didn't think that were the case, I think I'd have given up a long time ago.

What I find most difficult, and which inevitably sets me firmly back into vicious circle mode, is that the symptoms are so real. I still find it hard to believe that the mind is so powerful and can make us feel so incredibly ill. Since my late teens, doctors have kept saying to me that my symptoms were caused by anxiety yet I didn't feel very anxious so I couldn't accept it and I just kept looking for the answer, believing I was suffering from some mystery, unidentified illness. Now I find that I was searching in vain because the doctors were right all along.

I know that I will continue to have ups and downs and, although I can see this quite clearly now, there will come times when I can't. However, I had real proof of the power of anxiety on the body recently when I was feeling better than I had for ages and then got some inconclusive test results from the doctor (which are now fine). Between him telling me this and my getting back to the car, I felt so ill with stomach and chest pains, and really lightheaded. I can't have been strangely struck down with a serious illness in 2 minutes so I concluded that it could only be my mind playing tricks. I now try to remind myself of this when I'm not feeling too good and it seems to help me put things into perspective.

On another note, I too have taken beta blockers and they certainly worked well for me in the short term reducing the symptoms of racing heart etc. I found that the anxiety itself though was still there behind it being masked. I'm now on Venlafaxine (for the 2nd time) and feel that it is helping me to see more clearly which, I am hoping, will help me to improve my anxiety on the long run. Early days but encouraging.

Take care

Pip

Abarth
21-02-12, 17:08
Thanks for the reply Pip. This week has started off pretty poorly unfortunately. I think I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to go for the MRI/scans etc, before I can commit to the meds. It's going to cost, but the way I am at the moment, the symptoms likely to be brought on initially by the meds, are likely to send me over.
In my head, I guess fully committing to the meds constitutes an acceptance that it is all psychological, and i'm not there yet. At the moment, and I mean perpetually, my legs just ache and burn; I feel buzzy/tingly all over and I feel intoxicated with none of the euphoria and without alcohol. Drop in the odd stabbing pain here and there and i'm in a constant state of panic and total lethargy. Oddly my heart rate never gets out of the 50's (and i'm not talking Buddy Holly!) I just struggle to accept that all this is a manfestation of my mind. Doh, i'm going round in circles again, i feel so unwell. :-(

Pipkin
21-02-12, 17:36
Ant,

I know how you feel mate and nothing anyone can say will convince you that it's all anxiety related. You have to come to that conclusion yourself.

Are you sure though that further tests will put your mind at ease? It could be an expensive way to end up back where you started. I could list endless symptoms I've had with anxiety affecting nearly every part of my body, including the symptoms you've mentioned above. For example, how could having really weak legs so that I felt I could hardly stand be anxiety? It just is (and of course, I could stand and my legs never let me down!). The real acid test is what you'd say to someone at work who was saying what you are. This is where logic goes out of the window and I know how easy it is to see the solution to everyone else's problems but your own.

I'm not saying meds are right for everyone and I certainly don't think they're a cure. What they've helped me with though is to see things more clearly and be more rational. Could work for you too? Might be worth a chat with your GP and see what she thinks. Remember that committing to any course of action isn't permanent, you can always change your mind if things aren't working.

Look after yourself

Pip

Abarth
21-02-12, 18:16
Cheers Pip; your points are really sound. Amazing how we are able to provide solutions to quite complex issues for others, yet are inept at the most basic level for ourselves! Whichever way I go, i believe that i will needs meds to prevent this thing returning (assuming I am ok) long term.
Perhaps it's not protocol to ask in open forum (pm me if not), but have you also suffered extended episodes as I have described? Point is, when I have previously had HA, there have been points of respite. This however has been continuous and seemingly worsening. Also, how did you find getting onto the meds (sa's etc) and, at the risk of being intrusive, what worked best?
Apologies for the inquisition, but your assessment seems bang on and your experience similar.

swgrl09
21-02-12, 18:23
Well I totally understand the frustration of being trained in counseling and yet unable to get over this! I am going to school to be a therapist, and am learning how to help others get over anxiety!!! Yet here I am, unable to help myself.

It's so frustrating!!!:doh:

Pipkin
21-02-12, 20:09
Ant,

No problem asking and I'm quite happy to answer in open forum in case others find it useful to read. The problem is, ask me a question and you'll get a 'War and Peace' sized answer!

Not that I believe anxiety is easy to categorise, because it certainly isn't, but I suffer from GAD. My debilitating worries can be about anything from the seemingly trivial to the more serious. The anxiety I experience causes the physical symptoms (remind me I said this at some future point when I won't believe it) and, anxiety being anxiety, I then worry about these symptoms, making my anxiety rise and the symptoms to get worse. Welcome to my downward spiral.

I'm 41, male (though everyone thinks Pip is a female name - short for Philip btw), and have suffered from anxiety since at least my early teens, probably even before that. I have had many periods of real anxiety and, like you, they come in episodes although I am never truly free from it. To answer your first question, they can last anything from a couple of weeks to in excess of a year, with no respite.

I was medication free for 8 years until a few weeks ago when my current anxiety cycle became unbearable. It started last summer and peaked after Christmas when I ended up having the worst anxiety attacks I've ever had - I even took a day off work which I absolutely refuse to do because I feel like it's giving in. The symptoms during this time were sore throat, lump sensation in throat, various stomach and back pains together with the old favourites of racing/fluttering heart, shaking, knot in stomach and insomnia. All classic anxiety symptoms.

My previous meds were venlafaxine but this time the GP prescribed sertraline. I started it after New Year but only managed a week as the side effects were horrendous. I have never felt so anxious and, quite frankly, like I was losing my mind. Really frightening. I went back to see the GP and requested to be changed to venlafaxine as I knew this worked. I was also put on beta blockers at the same time to help me with the first couple of weeks.

Fast forward a few weeks and I feel better than I have for ages and can see things much more clearly. The side effects have been minimal: a bit headachy, nauseous and tired but these have improved, as they did last time. In fact, I went for a check up at the doctor's today and he commented how well I looked - I took this to mean I must have looked a fright the last time he saw me!

The only other thing I'd add is that different meds work for different people. Loads of people get on very well with sertraline but it just wasn't for me.

Hope that answers your questions. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Take care and keep in touch.

Pip

Abarth
21-02-12, 20:45
Pip this is really helpful, thanks. Sounds like we might be cut from the same cloth, including the need to articulate to the last detail (a quality in my view). GP prescribed me venlafaxine and Propranolol ( beta blocker) to help get me on it. I have heard that venlafaxine is one of the more tolerable ssri's, so i'm going to give them a go (subject to what I do with the tests!). Hearing your experience gives me some hope that they might not give me too hard a time when i come to take them.

Crazy isn't it. I'm able to ride a 170 mph motorcycle and yet spend hours debating the terrors of taking a tiny tablet. It's loathesome.
Will keep posted.
Cheers and regards
Ant

Pipkin
21-02-12, 21:23
Ant,

Happy to have helped. I too had noticed a certain similarity in our writing styles so your comment made me laugh!

I would say, give the venlafaxine a go. I'm not saying that it's particularly easy to get onto but, in my case, it was certainly worth it. The beta blockers (my flavour was oxprenolol) really helped to keep the anxiety symptoms under control for the first couple of weeks. I've stopped these now as I didn't need them anymore.

You're quite right about irrational fears. You ride a fast bike with no fear and I can present at our staff conference every year in front of 500 people without breaking into a sweat. Yet if my boiler makes a funny noise, I start to foresee the lack of hot water, enormous bills and before you know it, my mind has the whole house in pieces as the fictitious plumber tries to fix the world's most difficult boiler. It turned out to need bleeding, by the way, which I did myself in 15 minutes. Isn't life great.

Keep posting - it's good to chat to someone with the same outlook.

Pip

Gaspa79
22-02-12, 04:44
I think something similar as pipkin: we all ask ourselves that question.

Health anxiety can give you every symptom. The same thing happened to me: as soon as a test showed me that some area of me was fine, my body produced a completely different symptom for me to worry about: WHAT THE HECK!!

Same question popped (but in my case a little different): I'm no medic or any health-realted-profession, I work as a database administrator. However, since I was a kid I was praised for being really smart (I'm not saying this to brag). So the question was: how can I, being so smart, keep doing this to myself? It's the same as you: it doesn't matter who you are or what you know: if you're anxious you're anxious and that's it.


I gave up trying to diagnose myself. I, too, struggled for more tests, but EVERY ONE OF THEM CAME FINE. Everyone here has the same story. It's almost unfair the amount of power health anxiety has over us. But knowing that is the key: anxiety has a lot of power and can cause almost every symptom. Knowing that along with having the tests turning out fine can bring some peace to your mind. It will probably relax you a little bit.

I really agree with pipkin: we *can* win here. I'm experiencing it myself, every week I'm feel better than the previous one. This week included.

Don't give up!! You deserve to get better!

Oh and hats off to pipkin for his useful posts.

Pipkin
22-02-12, 10:33
Hi chaps,

You have a good point Gaspa. How can we, as intelligent people, be so illogical and refuse to listen to what we know deep down is right? The problem I have is that I retain loads of information which then pops back into my head when symptoms occur, leading me down a path of self-diagnosis. As purplehippo said in a previous post, a little knowledge can be worse than none at all and, in my head, two and two often add up to anything but four.

I have always maintained a healthy respect for doctors (but not blind faith) and that usually helps me to listen to what they're saying and generally puts my mind at ease. Having said that, my mind does have a habit of reminding me that everyone makes mistakes and can't be right all the time. I have come to accept that doctors have had years of training and know more about physiology than I ever will.

Something which I have observed in myself in the past is leading doctors down a certain path. Having already decided what's wrong with me, I seem to work hard at convincing the GP of the same diagnosis but not blatantly, I can be quite subtle and very persuading. I think this is the reason why I have ended up having so many tests, which, like you Gaspa, inevitably come back clear. My current GP is a real old-school no-nonsense type. Although he doesn't really give me the opportunity to talk much, he just says it like it is and shuts me up when I start pontificating. Some would find this approach frustrating, I think it's exactly what I need. He is sympathetic but straight to the point at the same time.

I'm on leave this week which always results in my having too much time on my hands - never a good thing for an anxiety sufferer. Off to try and find something to keep me entertained, despite the miserable weather.

Take care all

Pip

Abarth
22-02-12, 11:07
What you say is quite amazing there Pip. I do exactly that with DRs and Counsellors etc. I go in to my appointment and am able to convey, quite eloquently what the issues are and then sort of 'steer' the discussion where subconsiously I want it to go. I then slightly bask in the congratulations of my own awareness by my DR and we all go our separate ways. Of course, it is only a short while after that my brain then reminds me that my clear diagnosis is entirely predicated on my own manipulation of the assessment and then HA really bites as it then tells me I know nothing.
Of course, that is to do my GP a disservice, because I am sure she is far more shrewd than I am in these matters and has me pegged. But I guess there must also be a little bit of arrogance in there for us as well, in almost trying to dupe the profession! Let's face it, alot of the condition is about control and some of us, certainly me, find that so hard to relinquish, which makes recovery that much more difficult!
I'm rambling now and no nearer to a solution, but it is quite interesting, particularly how we seem to articulate how each think!!
Keep busy!
Ant

---------- Post added at 11:07 ---------- Previous post was at 11:06 ----------

Sorry, I forgot to thank Gaspa for the valuable input too.
Cheers

Pipkin
22-02-12, 13:07
Hello there,

Great reply Ant. This thread typifies to me everything which is great about this site and why I find it so beneficial. I do often think that I think too much though. But now I'm thinking about thinking, so I rest my case.

Ant, I think you've hit the nail firmly on the head there when you mention the C word. Control, I mean. It's right at the heart of my anxiety and probably is for most of us. I've spent my entire adult life trying to control the uncontrolable which has brought me right to where I am today. Ironically, people at work think I'm quite laid back and calm. If only they could see that underneath, my mind is whizzing and popping like a fire cracker to the extent that, by the time I get home, I'm so exhausted that I need a lie down. You'd think I was 81 not 41.

Despite what I've said in previous posts, I'm not a fan of taking medication on a long-term basis just to be able to live my life. Having said that, there is something comforting about the doctor handing me that little green slip and saying to take pill A once a day and it will do X, Y and Z. I am now in control of X, Y and Z and I can choose to take the pills or not. This leads me to a current anxious feeling that it's out of my control if my GP chooses to stop prescribing that med. My GP yesterday started to talk about an exit strategy from the venlafaxine in 3 or 4 months. Whilst this is positive because he clearly thinks I'm strong enough to go it alone (which is also my aim), I'm now worried about this. He did say though that he wouldn't rush me and that the decision is mine. Still worries me though. Always about control.

One final thing I forgot to say previously: I started venlafaxine on half the usual dose (37.5mg instead of 75mg a day) to make the initial side effects more tolerable. After a week, I went up to 75mg. This worked for me and it might be worth a chat with your GP to see if she thinks that's the best course of action for you.

Now off to find something to do to keep me out of mischief. Maybe a walk or a trip to Tesco. The exciting possibilities are endless...

Keep posting chaps. I'm really enjoying reading posts from such like-minded people and writing is, as you say Ant, quite cathartic. In fact, it's quite a revelation.

Take care

Pip

Abarth
24-02-12, 18:36
Hey All
By way of update and following a pretty dire week, i spoke again with my GP and took the tab as I was told! Guess what? It actually improved things! Ok, it's only early days, but it does prove that my GP was correct, even if it has been only a brief respite. We shall see what the weekend brings......
Pip, couldn't agree with you more!
Take care all.
Ant

Pipkin
24-02-12, 18:43
Hi everyone,

Just checking in to see how you're all doing.

Ant - are you feeling any better? I was wondering if you've decided what to do about the tests and the meds. There's no hurry, of course, but if you do decide to go with the venlafaxine, let me know and I'll give you some moral support.

I've been out for the day to Lincolnshire with some friends and feel better than I have for ages. Absolutely worn out now so I'm going to lie down for half an hour before deciding what to do tonight. I think I deserve a takeaway...

Take care and keep posting

Pip

---------- Post added at 18:43 ---------- Previous post was at 18:40 ----------



Ant - not only similar styles but posting at the same time - spooky!

Let us all know how you get on with the meds and, as I said, I'm happy to give you some moral support if you find it difficult. Been there and understand!

Pip

Abarth
24-02-12, 20:55
Hi Pip
Now that is spooky. I was going to post a fun comment earlier to the effect that whenever I felt compelled to reply to any post, I would just have to wait a little while and you would take the words right out of my head and post them yourself! There you were doing that very thing, ha! I was also going to drop you a pm to see how your week off had gone; it's great that you had such a good day, i think a takeaway is certainly in order if you haven't eaten it already!

I really appreciate the offer of support and will no doubt take you up on it. Certainly this Olanzapine seemed to do the trick last night, although since I posted earlier I seem to have dropped the ball somewhat, so I am now waiting for the next one to kick in on the back of a dizzy turn.

Take care in the meantime Pip, and cheers for the post.
Ant

Abarth
27-02-12, 11:18
Oh dear
Thought yesterday I might be progressing. However, this morning I have zero energy, low mood and can barely crawl out of bed. Limbs like jelly/leaden and head full of mush. Of course, with this comes the associated fears of some sinister condition and then to compound my misery, my body replicates all the symptoms. I so wish it would go away. :-(
Ant

Pipkin
27-02-12, 12:23
Ant,

Sounds like you're having a tough time today. Remember that it's natural to have ups and downs and, if you're anything like me, you interpret the downs as something more sinister.

I'm not having the best day today and was quite anxious this morning. I put it down to my first day back at work after a week's leave. I've perked up a bit now but I'm still a bit wobbly.

Sorry for the short post but I'm on my lunch and need to get back to the grind.

Take care, I'm sure you'll be feeling better soon.

Pip

Abarth
27-02-12, 13:29
Cheers Pip. I think we've established I am pretty much as you are! I appreciate your supportive words and will plough on and try to put my fears to the back of my mind.
Ant

Abarth
16-03-12, 17:26
By way of update, I am at the end of the road with the variety of symptoms that just perpetually make me miserable with fear and anxiety and won't go away. I came off the propranolol as my heart rate had dropped too low! Whilst this gave me more energy, the rest is just too much to bear at the moment. Have booked appointment with GP to obtain a private referral for a full body MRI and brain scan. I know it will be expensive, but i just have to know what is going on (or not) so that I can move forward. Of course this in itself won't be without its own fear inducing consequences (let alone cost), but I need to feel like I am taking some control of my world before I wind up losing everything. Appreciating that this may seem like a 'cop out' to some, I just cant go on as I am. Doubtless, once this has been done, i shall be referred straight to a consultant psych analyst. Apologies, i probably sound a bit agitated, but I feel so very down at the moment. I can see so clearly all of the wonderful things life has to offer, but I seem unable to touch any of it right now. That in itself makes me feel horribly selfish/self indulgent as there are many people far worse off than me in reality, yet they just get on with it and smile. How rubbish am I, glass half empty etc. Doh....Will update as we go.....
Keep strong All.
Ant x

beauty2010
16-03-12, 22:03
Sorry you are feeling so low.
I know that you already know this - but any medical test can throw up 'false positives' which may cause you more worry.
I really enjoyed reading this thread - especially the issue of control. I think it is useful for me to look at it philosophically - i.e. I can never ever know everything, and I have to leave some things to be what they will be - because that is part of being human. I enjoy reading about Buddhism/ spirituality and found the idea of having to 'let go' to really live a fulfilled life useful.
I don't really worry about my own health but about my kids' health and I think that is because I think that I have responsibility for them, and I am not allowed to let anything bad happen to them. But I can't protect them for ever. Are you also someone who is over -responsible?
I try and think that if I have done what is 'reasonable' (i.e. in keeping with present standards of medical care) and a little bit more to protect my kids health, then I can leave it be. (Of course I don't manage this, or I would not be on this site!)
B

miss sparkle
17-03-12, 07:35
Would really like to know how you get on with your scans etc. Can't they just be booked privately? Didn't realise you had to go through your own doctor. What symptoms are you having atm, if you don't mind me asking?

Pipkin
17-03-12, 16:33
Hi Ant,

Really sorry to see that you're not doing too well. I completely understand how you feel - I've been there many times myself.

As we usually share very similar opinions, I probably don't need to say very much but I can see why you'd want to pay for the tests to give yourself the reassurance you're looking for. You already know, I'm guessing, that the problem is very unlikely to be physical and that the assurance you get may well be temporary. I would be hypocritical to say it's unnecessary as I had a head MRI scan a couple of years ago due to persistent headaches. I'm not sure my GP would have referred me if I didn't have private medical insurance.

I certainly wouldn't be apologetic about how you spend your money - that's entirely your choice though I know why you're saying what you are. I've just bought a new car (which I blatantly don't need - need and want can be very different things) and now I'm worrying what people at work will think when I get it. I shouldn't care but I can't help it.

Have you started your ADs yet? I'm still on the same dose and they're definitely working though I need to put a lot more effort into sorting my head out myself. I'm having quite an anxious day today which may well be as a result of a few glasses of wine last night. I just can't bear knowing the thoughts I have are irrational but not being able to do anything about them.

On a different note, hi to Beauty and Miss Sparkle. Beauty - I'm glad you enjoyed reading this thread. I really enjoy sharing thoughts with Ant and feel free to join in. I also enjoy thinking about the wider aspects of why we are as we are. I believe that the answer to recovery lies in fully understanding this and seeing how anxiety has shaped who we are and what we do (not always negatively despite what torture it can be).

Take care

Pip x

Abarth
17-03-12, 21:48
Oh no! I have just completed a comprehensive and reasonably well scripted response to everyone, at which point the Ipad ran out of battery and lost all of it, arghhh!!!
I really appreciate your views and promise to answer you all, as I have specific points for each of you. Pip, I had already planned on sending you a PM as referred to in my deleted message. However I shall now get back to everyone tomorrow (using my laptop!).
All the best
Ant

Pipkin
29-04-12, 02:09
How you doing Ant? Hope you're ok.

Keep in touch if you can

Take care

Pip x

miss sparkle
29-04-12, 22:59
I was wondering about you too other day, i couldn't think of your name, but same as pip really.
hope your well x