What going on?????

[Fedex]

Hey I'm fed!! Ok so I'm 18 male and have had depression in the past! For the last 6 months I have been on celexa for my depression! This was due to unwanted homosexual thoughts! With time and the help of cbt these thoughts have gradually got better and the thoughts have disappeared! I am not gay before anyone gets any ideas!
My problem now is with my gf! I have been with my gf 11 months now and the whole way through my depression! She's great!
I have now begun to be very scared and nervous about whether I love my gf!! This is terrible! She is away at uni all week and only home at weekends! I found this thought worrying me and started looking at pictures of her but this makes it even worse! I'm very happy with her but I don't feel content when she's away from me!
I found that I was attracted to other girls which made me even more worried!
I want to be with my gf and feel content and happy!
Can't anyone help! Whats going on??? Sorry for long message! Reply ASAP thanks!

[mummyruth]

Hey

It's natural even in long term relationships to be attracted to others, doesn't mean you don't necessarily love your girlfriend. But only you can decide if you still want to be with her and if your love is strong enough.
Relationships are also hard work to maintain, especially long distance ones. They are not always perfect, loved up and as intense as they are in the beginning. Sometimes you love each other more than other times. All of ths is completely normal. Just don't confuse comparing your feelings to those of your relationship when you 'fell in love'. That 'high' fades and relationships settle into a deeper more secure love rather than an intense and obsessive one.

Hope this helps x

[Fedex]

Yea I understand that! This is my 1st relationship and I live her! Think I got scared cause that high doesn't stay!! But she is the one!!think my depression and anxiety has been a hard thing for me too! What u think?

ANYMORE ANSWERS OR SUGGESTIONS THANKS

[mummyruth]

It's completely understandable to have doubts sometimes. Plus if you are depressed then that may take a lot of your emotional energy, not leaving much left to focus on your relationship. It's great that your girlfriend has been so supportive, just make sure that your relationship has not become about support rather than love.

I have supported my partner through depression for along time and as a result I'm now having issues myself. It's very difficult sometimes to be so supportive even when you love someone so much. And I won't kid you, we have nearly split up on a number of occasions. But we have realised that despite all the shit we still have enough love to get us through.

Just focus on staying strong mentally and having some quality time with your girlfriend. Don't over analyse and just enjoy each other x

[swgrl09]

I went through a period with my current bf where we would only see each other on weekends (he lived out of my state). It was SO HARD, so I understand where you're coming from. It is normal to be attracted to other people, so don't beat yourself up over it. As long as you know she is who you want to be with, and you wouldn't act on it, there's nothing wrong. Just know that those thoughts are normal and there is nothing wrong with you.

For us, we would make sure to talk every night and would plan fun things for the times we did see each other to help us get through the week.

[Fedex]

Just don't confuse comparing your feelings to those of your relationship when you 'fell in love'. That 'high' fades and relationships settle into a deeper more secure love rather than an intense and obsessive one

What do you mean here?
I kinda do that sometimes! Think it's because it's my 1st relationship and I'm not used to the feelings!

Reply Pls

[mummyruth]

Read this quote:- kind of explains how love and relationships are to me anyway....


“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
― Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli's Mandolin

One of my favourite love quotes. I keep this in my mind when my relationship is having a rough spot and it just reminds me why we are together x

[swgrl09]

I love that quote! I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 1/2 years now. We've lived together for 2 1/2.

Yes, sometimes I miss that "high" where you can't get enough of each other and you can't stay apart. But I remind myself that the love we have is different now. I find comfort and happiness in knowing we are there for each other through thick and thin - and he stayed by me through awful times, losing my mom, dealing with other trauma, and with my anxiety problems that have resulted. Now it is a deeper love that is more committed and supportive. It is a partnership that endures. It is having mutual acceptance of each other no matter what. And I wouldn't trade that for the world! It is too hard to come by.