Hello :)

[Bonnie2012]

Hello everyone! ;)

I have just joined this forum, I am 13 years old, and almost 14, And my name is Saffron :)

The reason i joined this site is because i have a fear of death, and vomit. It's hard to explain to my friends, but i often sit and think about what it would feel like to die, and i cry about it. I'm not sure why, but it always creeps into my into my mind somehow.

Also, i have a fear of vomit. If i see it, i also feel like crying, and try to avoid it in any way possible. When i feel like i'm on the verge of vomiting, i try to stop it as much as i can. Often this means sitting on my bed with my hands behind my head trying to think of something else. Thanks to this, i've managed to prevent vomiting for atleast two years now.

Things that make me feel relaxed and like i belong are reading, writing (stories), and drawing. I've been drawing since i was very young, and i'm the top of my class in english, but i read & write in my spare time. Most of my other subjects in school, i find myself drawing in my school books and diary.

I have adored animals ever since i can remember, so this is mainly what i draw. The animal i draw most is wolves, and i make different wolf characters which i often use in the stories i write. I own five snakes, five fish, one cat, and a dog.

So that's pretty much it, this is my introduction thread, i hope i get to know some of you a bit better, thanks for reading!

[diane07]

Hi Bonnie2012

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[flossie]

Hello Saffron. Welcome to the forum.:welcome:

[Pipkin]

Hi Saffron and :welcome:

Sounds like you have some real worries there and I know a lot of people on here will feel very similar to you. We all have different ways of dealing with our worries and you've got some good ones in drawing animals etc.

Have you talked to your parents or someone close in your family about how you feel? It's always a good thing to talk to those who are close to us because they know us better than anyone else and can usually help. It's also a good idea to let them know you've joined this website and even involve them in what you post and the answers you get, especially private messages. There are a few parents who also come on here, along with their sons or daughters. You could maybe ask in a new thread about how they help their children and how the children feel?

Take care

Pip

[Bonnie2012]

Thanks ^^ and yes, i often speak to my mother about it :)

[pinkdove]

:welcome: saffron, nice to have you hear. keep talking to your mum, and looks like we have an artist here :D

[LAURA48]

Welcome Saffron - you sound lovely - your fears are so common and things can often get out of all proportion - keep talking to your mum or if you have a favourite teacher. You can talk to us anytime. Luv Laura x

[cheryl foster]

my daughter saffron. :) mummys here for you too.:hugs:

[Bonnie2012]

Pinkdove; thank you :D :P

---------- Post added at 22:04 ---------- Previous post was at 22:03 ----------

Laura; that's very nice of you to say, thank you very much :winks:

---------- Post added 23-02-12 at 00:38 ---------- Previous post was 22-02-12 at 22:04 ----------

Cheryl foster; thanks, mum :hugs:

[dallas11]

Hi Saffron,
Sounds like you're not having a great time of it. I have a serious problem with blood. Not mine, or people I don't know, but if someone I care about is bleeding I tend to feel sick and faint. We all have our foibles.

I don't know about others, but I think it's pretty normal to think about dying. We all have to do it some time, and it's a big question to ask that doesn't really have an answer. What I try to do is to make every day count, and make sure I tell everyone how much I care about them. When I was at school, I used to be terrified that my mum would pass away, to the point where I alway ensured that I would say "See you AFTER SCHOOL" as opposed to "see you later". I was convinced that if I didn't specify when I would next see her that she wouldn't be there. I understand that this is different to your particular concern, but I'm just trying to reassure you that if you do feel alone in this, others have felt similar concerns as well. I also used to get sick if I was invited over to a friend's house from the ages of 11 to 15 as I was certain I was a 'weirdo' and would be 'discovered' as an unworthy friend.

Ensure that you use your drawing and writing as a constructive outlet, I used to do the same thing. I still bury myself in a book or technical manual when I'm stressed out or want to block out the world. Writers should be given medical prizes for helping people when they can't deal with their surroundings. Perhaps taking a class in drawing or writing outside of school would help you to feel better? You'd be surprised what a bit of encouragement will do for you. I started taking foreign language classes outside school when I was 15 and was so amazed to find myself complimented by my peers instead of exiled as happened at school for being 'too nerdy'. A true revelation.

I'm not suggesting you are disengaged or having any other social difficulties, but teenage depression and/or anxiety is very common, and you are very lucky to have the support of your mum. If you need to chat to someone feel free to email me, with the consent and monitoring of your mum. You are a very strong young lady to have the courage to post about your concerns on this forum and I applaud you. I wish you all the best.

Cheers,
Lex.

[Bonnie2012]

Lex; thank you so much for your kindness and for sharing your own experiences, i am very thankful. i hope you overcome your fear of blood ^-^ Thank you again :hugs:

[dallas11]

No worries buddy. If you have any other questions about going through school or concerns, or would like to discuss more, again I would refer to your mum but am happy to help in any way I can.

By the way, I can cope with blood much better than I can with the giant spiders we get in Australia.... :doh: