theharvestmouse
22-02-12, 19:56
That's probably what gets me more than anything, I can accept the anxiety to a certain extent, I can live with it but what I can't live with is the lonely existence I feel day in day out. It gets to me every day and brings me down, even when I have moments that I feel more positive by the end of the day I just feel so lonely that I can't see any hope.
I don't know how long I've got left but time is running out, my patience has all but gone. I am doing things, classes, social events, online dating, but I just struggle to ever get anywhere, its been 3 years since I was intimate with a woman and for a man of my age soul destroying especially because I am in good shape and considered attractive but that's irrelevant when you have social/GAD. In the end I think what is wrong with me?:shrug:, attractive women show interest in me but I am powerless to do anything because of the anxiety, its like torture.
I do sometimes think that I will end up killing myself to end this hell, at least then I won't have to go through this pain every day. I can't take much more of it, not far off my breaking point now.
Maybe I need a break from here. NMP is great and the support is fantastic but perhaps I should give it some time and hopefully things might change.
Sorry for this negativity but just so fed up right now that I can't see much hope in my life.
I don't know how long I've got left but time is running out, my patience has all but gone. I am doing things, classes, social events, online dating, but I just struggle to ever get anywhere, its been 3 years since I was intimate with a woman and for a man of my age soul destroying especially because I am in good shape and considered attractive but that's irrelevant when you have social/GAD. In the end I think what is wrong with me?:shrug:, attractive women show interest in me but I am powerless to do anything because of the anxiety, its like torture.
I do sometimes think that I will end up killing myself to end this hell, at least then I won't have to go through this pain every day. I can't take much more of it, not far off my breaking point now.
Maybe I need a break from here. NMP is great and the support is fantastic but perhaps I should give it some time and hopefully things might change.
Sorry for this negativity but just so fed up right now that I can't see much hope in my life.