Nature Or nurture

[neroo]

Don't know if this has been covered before

How much of your condition is down to genes our the way you were raised.
have the effects of life drugs/parents/abuse shape the problem your dealing with at the present time

Have you always suffered or is it something that staredt because of a problem

Thats all folks:yesyes:

[Pipkin]

I think the research says (for what it's worth) 60% genetics and 40% environment. There's certainly an element of genetics for me.

Pip

[Rain]

This is an interesting question. My Dad had social anxiety and agoraphobia although it was never referred to and nobody actually called his problems by those names. It was known that he was generally a ‘quiet’ man and everyone made physical health excuses for why he didn’t go out anywhere. He was very brave though as he went to work all of his life which must have been so hard for him. Especially as he once told me, to my horror that he was teased at work for being small and that the resident bully used to carry him round as a ‘joke’. I witnessed panic on his face when visitors called round and wondered why he never saw me do my high jump at the school sports day or came to hear my progress from my teacher at parents’ evening.

However, I am not sure if I inherited the ‘shy gene’ from him or became anxious through learning that people and the outside world were to be feared by watching his behaviour. I am inclined to believe the former, as a younger member of my extended family is now showing the same tendencies.

I think a large part of the reason I have social anxiety (which led ultimately to agoraphobia) is that I was not socialised as a young child. I spent all my time playing in a little space between the back of the sofa and the wall and did not really mix with other children until I went to school. Going to infant school was a huge shock and I failed to learn social skills and to make friends.

I wasn’t totally shy on the same level for my whole life, but even during more confident phases anxiety was tumbling round in my tummy in the background.

For this reason I believe socialising a young child is desperately important. You learn vital social skills very early on, or, as in my case, fail to learn them.

Just to throw more confusion into the mix, I have a sister who is confident, sunny and sociable. She had the same parents as me but looks and acts more like my sociable Mum did where I take after my Dad very closely.

I believe it’s mainly all in the genes. What’s more- I believe one day in my lifetime they will discover the shy gene, just as I believe they will one day discover the gay gene. Once identified, children with the shy gene could go on specialised courses designed to help them grow to be more sociable. This may sound a little far fetched but it would be better than my experience, which was that people would sometimes shout at me to ‘get a grip’ when I displayed shy or anxious behaviour.

This will be an interesting debate. Thanks for bringing it up.

[Pipkin]

Hi all,

What worries me about gene research (in this case and that of the so-called 'gay gene') is that this could be interpreted as a faulty gene, not just something which makes us who we are. I admit that it's fascinating but the most important thing is for us is to look forward and deal effectively with our anxiety, not to keep looking back at causes. I can see the link between the two though.

It raises the question of, if we could, would we choose to have been born differently? The obvious answer for us when we suffer so much on a daily basis is yes. However, we would be completely different people (with different personalities, strengths, partners, children & different lives in general). Maybe I'm in a minority but I enjoy being who I am, despite the incredibly tough challenges we face. Me with less anxiety in the future would be a preferred choice for me.

Pip

[neroo]

I think a large part of the reason I have social anxiety (which led ultimately to agoraphobia) is that I was not socialised as a young child. I spent all my time playing in a little space between the back of the sofa and the wall and did not really mix with other children until I went to school. Going to infant school was a huge shock and I failed to learn social skills and to make friends.

I wasn’t totally shy on the same level for my whole life, but even during more confident phases anxiety was tumbling round in my tummy in the background.

For this reason I believe socialising a young child is desperately important. You learn vital social skills very early on, or, as in my case, fail to learn them.


That post really stuck a chord with me, i was raised on a huge estate and my mum didn't want me hanging out with the "scum" on the estate.meaning i really lacked social skill.

which to this day is still a problem i believe my genes are a ticking time bomb

Leaving me to spend most of my time alone and an outsider, which i am to this day

Its been proven that puppies who lack social interaction in there early stages
Are unable to make them later on in life .I feel like one of those puppies
dying for social contact but unable to properly use it once i get it

My genes where a bomb waiting to go of and my child hood lit the fuse

---------- Post added at 10:05 ---------- Previous post was at 09:58 ----------


, which was that people would sometimes shout at me to ‘get a grip’ when I displayed shy or anxious behaviour

I wish i could kick them people in there nuts or lady nuts:ohmy:

Would you go up to someone in a wheelchair and start dancing ,hey wheel guy
get up its all in your mind

[swgrl09]

I think I always had a tendency to be anxious ... All of my mom's family (pretty much) has some type of anxiety problem, be it panic attacks, hypochondria, general anxiety, etc. My mom had all of them! So I probably had a tendency anyway. I always leaned towards hypochondria, though that might be because my mom ALWAYS worried about every health problem. Mine didn't get full blown until she died and now I have joined the ranks of anxiety with my family!

Also experienced another trauma this year and have PTSD to add onto it.

It's a little of both - nature and nurture. If you have the genes, you are not doomed to be anxious. And if you have anxiety, you can get better with proper treatment.

[neroo]

I can see not wanting to give up who you are. But given the chance to change i would in a heart beat so many wasted years and so much pain

So may times i offend someone just because i was really shy,,i messed up my teeth because of a fear of the dentist and being abused by a dentist didn'thelp

I don't define myself by my weakness, sometimes the anxiety seems foreign to me
Like something that just creepily took more and more control

I don't enjoy being me, Which i know i have to really work on that but its hard
But great post Rain

[Pipkin]

Hi there,

It's a bit pointless of me asking if we'd change if we could because, let's face it, we can't and we are who we are. I just like philosophising - it gives me something to think about and keeps me out of mischief!

One thing we all have in common though is that this life can be nothing short of torture and so many people don't realise what it's like.

I'm determined to stay positive and, despite a battle that's lasted the best part of 30 years, I still live in hope that I'll crack it one day soon.

Pip

[Blade]

Wow , good reading , just to add my 2p , mother was a agrophobic , Father was a alcoholic , brother was a alcoholic , looking back it was to cover his anxiety , he died relatively young , his kids are on anti depressants but doing ok . I was a shy kid but not reclusive , always felt a bit different , teens and early 20s were party time , all ok but masked with alcohol and whatever then kids and sensible and anxiety . Kids have done well and show no signs of anxiety , got good jobs and are well adjusted , so for me i think its nature , in the genes but if treated right from a young age can be dealt with , my kids were encouraged to do lots of clubs and interacting with others , where as i was mostly not allowed to do anything

[PanchoGoz]

A Doctor announced a few years ago "Don't be a slave to your genes!", when she discovered that our life experiences actually change our DNA.
It's a big question, if you are in the family line of a anxious people, can you end it?