whats your daily routine?

[nok_tok]

im just wondering if anyone is like me? i feel guilty.. but i just wondered what other people do on a day to day basis, here is a rough weekday for me:

-wake up around 7am
-peel myself out of bed
-walk kids to school
-come home with my 3 year old
-put cbeebies on for my son and give him a drink
-i dissapear upstairs and get back into bed
-i hope my 3 year old wont bug me (i just want to be on my own)
- put tv or computer on
-write lots of list of things i plan to do but normally dont do
-make lunch
-rush about hoovering/washing up b4 parner gets home (so it looks like ive done stuff)
-pick kids up from school
-get stressed making dinner(i cant cook for anything)
-wait about for kids to go bed so i can be on my own (kind of)
-try and go bed as early as poss..


is that normal? i dont feel happy generally but dont think i could cope with much change in my life. :( i dont have any hobbies or socialise as i find it to hard to be active and talk and be positive around people etc i dont talk to any other mums and avoid people that want to talk to me..

what do u do?

[mashedbanana]

Hi Nok Tok

You told me you play guitar - perhaps there's a small window in your day when you can fit in some playing or songwriting when the kids are at school? I know, it doesn't feel worthwhile but I think just writing lyrics or having a strum helps.

But my day seems similar at the moment. I just pretend to do stuff, occasionally doing the washing or cleaning, browsing the web for help, responding to work calls which are few because I've let things slide, hoping that no one wants me but desperately wishing they did (partner excluded, he's lovely).

Going to bed early sounds familiar. Avoiding cooking too.

On a better day I try and force myself to do something but also I've given that up as it just stresses me out. Eventually I'll have to do something about all this but at the moment it's damage limitation.

Go on, get the guitar out.

[paula lynne]

Routine is safe for me, but so boring and a little soul destroying. Its hard when your place of safety eventually becomes your prison.

Instead of going back to bed, dont put cbeebies on....get some pencils out and play with you little one, or play dress up, or put some music on and sing.....or sit in the garden if the weather is good.

Just changing 1 aspect of your day, every day, shakes things up enough not to let the depression set in. I know its hard (Ive had agoraphobia for 11 years), but little changes really add up to big positives. Routine is a good thing, because we feel safe, but it will drag us down. Are you taking any meds? If so, go and see your Gp, the levels/dose may need adjusting. If you dont take meds (I dont) maybe a multivit could help? Talk to your local chemist.

Wishing you all the best x
Paula x

[Jamesk]

I am definately in the "try to go to bed as early as possible" camp.

[Carys]

Instead of going back to bed, dont put cbeebies on....get some pencils out and play with you little one, or play dress up, or put some music on and sing.....or sit in the garden if the weather is good.

I agree with the above and was going to post the same earlier, but I didn't want you to feel I was being judgmental. I think it is a terrible shame, for you and for the children, that you are not spending more time 'being' with them. Depression is a terrible place to be and can make even the most mundane tasks feel like impossible mountains, but I think going back to bed and leaving the 3 years old with the television is bad for both of you. Could you not even lie on the settee and talk with the little one about what he/she is watching ? Then move towards doing something more active with him/her.

[paula lynne]

I hope you dont think I was being judgemental? Its just a suggestion, based on my own experiences, and having a little one in the house while suffering panic and anxiety daily. I hope I havent upset you Nok Tok, that wasnt my intention at all.

[Carys]

Paula, sorry, that was my fault if you feel that way. No, sorry, wasn't saying that you were being judgemental.......because I rethought my position and realised that I should have posted similar to you ! :blush:

I also had a little one at home when I was suffering my period of major anxiety and depression, and had just been released from hospital, so I had to force myself to interact with her.

[nok_tok]

its ok paula, you dont offend me infact i need telling, i hate what im doing right now, my son is so loud and demanding, i love him to peices but he doesnt leave me alone, i feel like im so desperate to have some time on my own i feel drained and tired, i hate putting tv on for him i feel so guilty,
i feel like i dont have the energy for him, i haven't had a break from my kids 10 years, i feel like i have lost who i am, but it's true i need to change a few things at a time..i have been avoiding mums n tots groups etc ive got to find something.

[paula lynne]

All fine Carys :)
Oh Nok, how long is it til your son can go to part-time nursery?
Why dont you give mums and tots a go, even if its just for 15 mins.....it will do you both good.

I had my 2 kids 10 years apart, and just as my son reached 10, I became a nana (I was 39!)..it is knackering, and you do feel like youve lost yourself at times. YOU are still in there, but YOU need to be pro-active and take a deep breathe and make these changes. With agoraphobia and panic, I think I only managed 5 mins the first time at play group, but it did get better, and I was able to stay for the full hour a few monthes on. Also, a few mums I met there have become good friends x

Can you ask for support from family, just for 1 night? And also.....DO you take meds? x