daisycake
24-02-12, 19:29
Might be TMI or triggering for some people..
I've got to go and see the doctor on Tuesday for a meds review etc. At my last appt I mentioned to her that I'd found that my breasts felt quite lumpy during my period. She assured me that was normal but that she'd check them on the next appt (Tues anyway).
I can cope with all sorts of things in other personal areas - I've had I think over 25 examinations if not more "there" - however I've had issues up top that make me upset about people doing anything there. I was grabbed in school by a boy younger than me, he squeezed my breasts and twisted them. I was sore after, I was only 10 I think and I was a bit more developed than my classmates. He did it in the playground in front of a lot of people, and at the time I thought it was "normal". It has played on my mind though, I'm not sure just how normal it was for that to happen.. I didn't tell anyone until I was about seventeen and still down play it in r/l as I think I'm making an almighty fuss over nothing.
Anyway - I then went on to develop problems when I was about eighteen and had sore breasts. A locum GP examined them, because I said I was getting sore nipples I remember her squeezing my nipples to see if there was discharge. I hated it and remember just feeling frozen, if that makes sense, and sitting silently because I hated it so much.
I'm really worried about going through it again. I don't want to get upset in front of my GP or panic or anything but I have a feeling I will. I know I can refuse to have her check but I know I should just take it, as my breasts are quite sore and lumpy still. I just can't shake off what's happened before and worrying she might hurt me. I don't know if telling her might help. Have told my mum who's been through horrible sexual abuse and rape, she said she understands but that I need to basically put up with it.
Not sure what to do, I really don't want to get worked up on Tuesday but it's already worrying me - what's best to do?
I've got to go and see the doctor on Tuesday for a meds review etc. At my last appt I mentioned to her that I'd found that my breasts felt quite lumpy during my period. She assured me that was normal but that she'd check them on the next appt (Tues anyway).
I can cope with all sorts of things in other personal areas - I've had I think over 25 examinations if not more "there" - however I've had issues up top that make me upset about people doing anything there. I was grabbed in school by a boy younger than me, he squeezed my breasts and twisted them. I was sore after, I was only 10 I think and I was a bit more developed than my classmates. He did it in the playground in front of a lot of people, and at the time I thought it was "normal". It has played on my mind though, I'm not sure just how normal it was for that to happen.. I didn't tell anyone until I was about seventeen and still down play it in r/l as I think I'm making an almighty fuss over nothing.
Anyway - I then went on to develop problems when I was about eighteen and had sore breasts. A locum GP examined them, because I said I was getting sore nipples I remember her squeezing my nipples to see if there was discharge. I hated it and remember just feeling frozen, if that makes sense, and sitting silently because I hated it so much.
I'm really worried about going through it again. I don't want to get upset in front of my GP or panic or anything but I have a feeling I will. I know I can refuse to have her check but I know I should just take it, as my breasts are quite sore and lumpy still. I just can't shake off what's happened before and worrying she might hurt me. I don't know if telling her might help. Have told my mum who's been through horrible sexual abuse and rape, she said she understands but that I need to basically put up with it.
Not sure what to do, I really don't want to get worked up on Tuesday but it's already worrying me - what's best to do?