Newbie - driving related PAs

[Herbie]

Hi,
It just occurred to me that I used to be on forums for bands I like and now I'm on forums for losing weight and panic attacks. Is this what happens when you get old(er)?!

Over the last year I have been having driving related panic attacks. My heart beats like mad, I feel hot/sick and I feel like I am going to lose control of the car. I have to talk to myself constantly to keep under control. And not in a calm way but in a 'shocking myself out of it' way. I went from being a confident fast lane motorway driver to avoiding dual carriageways and worrying about driving a lot.

I know some of this is related to my job (I'm a teacher). I'm on a temp contract till July (I resigned my perm job due to bullying and stress) and this new place is a really stressful place to work also. I changed role from class teacher to cover teacher in Jan but am finding new role more stressful (can't pinpoint exactly why). This sounds a bit mad, but I was hoping to be offered a longer term contract where I am, but then get a perm job somewhere else, with the excuse for leaving of 'Oh, it was permanent...I'd love to stay here, but...) Now it looks like the head is getting someone from outside to cover my role. This should make me happy, as I'll be out of there, but that anxiety is replaced with 'What am I going to do?'

I was a supply teacher before this, and I had to drive on the motorway when I got early morning calls, etc. I can't face it now. And I've been teaching nearly ten years, and have spent that time being stressed about not working/the job/being bullied etc. I am wondering whether to teach abroad or leave teaching and start my own company. All the indecision is stressing me out and I haven't slept much this week. I have a constant churny feeling.

It would be useful to hear from others with similar problems. Feel very alone. I have had psychological counselling recently which finished in Sep, and I felt very positive. I am already on anti depressants and beta blockers, and wanted to start reducing my medication soon. Now i feel like I am regressing and will never be 'normal', whatever that is...
:scared15:

[kittikat]

Hi Herbie, sorry you are having a bad time right now. I have the same problem as you with the driving, I am constantly trying to talk myself out of those panicky feelings and know how hard it is to keep it together. My world now consists of an approximate 2 mile radius, where I feel some comfort and know I can usually get home quickly if I feel too bad. I can go slightly further if my partner or someone I trust is with me.

I also work in education (FE) and know how stressful that can be, ended up having a breakdown in November and am slowly picking myself up from this now. Please be careful...you may need some 'time out' before you crash and burn like I did.

I would love a less stressful job, it's just so hard to take that step. Every day I work is a constant challenge for me, stress, paperwork, learners (mostly very un-motivated and rude 16-19yr olds) management issues, staff absence....I think morale is at an all time low not only for me but my colleagues and others in education.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away for you...I don't have the answers myself. But look after yourself and know that you are not alone here, people do care and sometimes just sharing your thoughts and feelings with others who understand is a big help in itself.

:hugs: take care x

[Herbie]

Thanks for the reply, Kittikat. :hugs: I have a doctor's appt on Tue. Had an awful day today. No driving, but had a bit of a meltdown at the train station. I think I'm so stressed about going back to work. Not good, I don't want to go on the sick again.

I know what you mean about working in education. It is so hard, and student behaviour is getting worse all the time. Sorry to hear about your breakdown. I'm scared to take the step out, as I do love teaching, but my health has suffered so much. My partner used to work in FE, but had so many temp contracts with so few hours that it wasn't viable. Now he can't get back in, so I am supporting him atm. That adds to the stress.

I just hope I can get something sorted at the doctor's. I didn't do anything last time, I worked through it and got to a happier place. Does anyone have experience of CBT versus medication for PAs?

[Bigmorts]

Hi,

I have also had the fear of driving. I have to travel from kent to Essex and was fine before i started having anxiety and panic attacks. I am on meds and having CBT. On the first few occasions i couldnt bring myslef to do the journey if i was on my own. with someone in the car it was fine. My therapist told me to just do it constantly for 2 weeks and yes its still not cured but I can hapily distract myself from the fears. You just have to want it to stop happening really bad and try to see the end in sight.

Adam

[Herbie]

Hi Adam,
Thanks for the reply. I'm sorry to hear about your panic attacks. I'm the same - if someone is in the car I feel a lot better. It must have been so hard to keep doing it even though you knew you were going to panic. Even though it doesn't last long, it's so awful. After last time, I really wanted to avoid part of the route. I had to do that during my previous set of panic attacks - as soon as I saw a certain part of the motorway, it would start off again.

[Day-V Anne]

Hello!
I have been having ongoing off and on again panic and anxiety while driving since I was 16. I am 35 now, and it still happens. The frequency is less, and not as severe. When I was younger and didn't know a lot about my anxiety and other issues, I wondered what was wrong with me. I at times could not make myself get in the car and drive at all. I scared myself so much I couldn't even force myself to leave the house. After meds, and time, I was able to go anywhere and do anything without a thought of the anxiety. Now it happening to me again... I am doing some med changes, and am hoping to decrease some of my general anxiety and hope to lessen the frequency and intensity of the panic. I still try to travel the side roads rather than the highways and interstate roads. I feel as though I will loose control and fly off the road, and at times it feels like I am driving an arcade game. You aren't alone in your fear. It won't last forever, and just keep on driving. A thought is just a thought. It can't harm us, and it will pass. :)

Xoxoxo
D

[Squiggle]

Hi Herbie.
You're not alone! I couldn't understand this when it started but apparently it's a very common problem. I've had it for 7 years and have been putting off doing anything about it until now. I've been driving on country lanes in order to avoid certain stretches of road. Forget motorways and A roads! It began with discomfort and avoidance of the M25 and proceeded to full-blown panic when my brake warning light came on shortly after I moved to Ireland. Like you, I think my job has a lot to do with it. I've recently started CBT and found a really great driving instructor who specialises in fear of driving and is actually able to describe to me how I feel. I downloaded an online program last week but have only had time to do the first couple of exercises as I've a 6 month old baby. I had several attacks last week after doing well for a while. I over-reached on the exposure part of cbt - my therapist pushes me too much so I'm going to have to tell her. I don't find having someone in the car helps but having someone drive behind really does. I want to drive everywhere it's ever happened and hopefully that will do the trick. That's a lot of driving! At the moment I'm at Square Minus One though so this is all aspirational. Apparently it's the no. 4 phobia in the US. I'm embarrassed by it but not as much as I used to be. We're not alone! Good luck with dealing with this.

[Herbie]

Thanks to you all for your messages. It's good to know you're not alone when you feel like you're going crazy! I'll see what the doctor says tomorrow.