no family, no support

[R.Barratt]

hi everyone. when my grandad passed away a few months ago i only had my mum but that meant everything to me because we have never really got on. i was so happy i thought this is it we are going to be like a normal mother and daughter.
but obviously it didnt last. she has rang me a few times just to tell me how useless and nasty i am. which i dont understand because i never yell or swear at her because i love her. she calls me all sorts and can never speak but has to yell.
she has told me theres no point to me going back to college as i will simply fail because thats what i am a failure. my councillor and boyfriend believe she may have bipolar because of how badly she treats me and for no apparant reason.
i do try and stay positive for my own sake but when your own mums yelling at you constantly it obviously drags me down and makes me feel quite suicidal. i have always craved her approval but i am started to realise i will never get it.
i asked her to tell me she loved me the other day and she couldnt i then asked her if she could think of one thing she liked about me and she hung up. even when i told her i am planning on going to africa to volunteer and build schools she wasnt interested. i just want family to love me

[Rach29]

HI R.Barret sorry to hear about your situation how you can say horrible things to your own child ill never no i think u should prove her wrong do well in college and go to Africa do what you want to do but also try to encourage your mum to see a doctor or someone thats all u can try to do really on a positive if your mum truly hated you i dont think she would phone you even tho she is horrible to you she could cut you out of her life, she hsant so try to be strong and get on with your life and hope your mum gets help soon. Hope this helps x

[RosieXXX]

Hello R.Barratt,

I can understand how dejected you must be feeling because at present your Mother is unable to show her love and support for you. It does sound like she has problems which need to be dealt with, and I hope she can be encouraged to seek help. I can tell from your post that you really do love your Mother and I am sure you will try to support her in the best way you can. You musn't blame yourself for the way she treats you; her behaviour isn't a reflection on you, and it isn't because you are unlovable that she acts in this way.

You must follow your goals in life - as you achieve your confidence will grow and you wil begin to believe in yourself, which will give you a sense of self worth that will not be shaken by the way your mother behaves. You Mother may find it difficult to express her loving feelings towards you, but i do think in time she will find a way of expressing her love and you will find a way of realising in her own way she does love you. xx

[R.Barratt]

thank you for your thoughts and support. its nice to hear someone agree with me and not believe i am evil. i do love her but i have started to respect myself more so i dont see why i should be treated like this. i think a few months distance will give us both some healthy breathing space.
i would love for her to get some help so she could finally be truelly happy. but she has been like this ever since i can remeber so it seems like she never will. she has convinced herself she is fine and everything is my fault someway.
i love her but i already hate myself so i cant deal with even more negativity and hatred.
thank you for your comments though they are very comforting xxx

[sam66]

R.Barratt, I could never do it but parents can not always do whats best for their children, you hang in there, my Mum left me some awful letters when she died which is why i make sure that through my kids troubles the most important thing a child needs above anything else is love, you are not evil, you have to find self belief in who YOU are, best wishes x

---------- Post added at 19:55 ---------- Previous post was at 19:51 ----------

anytime you need a chat, just pm me yeah, its a tough situation you are in x

[dan1234]

Really sorry to hear this. Just wish I could give you a massive hug. The internet one will have to do I'm afraid :hugs::hugs::bighug1::bighug1: Does your bf give you a lot of support?

[R.Barratt]

yeah luckily my boyfriend is massively supportive. hes so selfless and amazing. i love him. but its not the same as family. but i guess im just so lucky to have him rather than being completely on my own. thank you for caring everyone :)