chl_hobbs
25-02-12, 09:42
Hi all, I just wanted to share my story as Im looking for some advice and help from people who 'understand' how i feel etc... It's been so hard lately.
In August 2011 i was due to have a routine day operation to diagnose endometriosis and perhaps cut it out if it was present.
When i came around, i was in a lot of pain and complained to the nurse who was by my side. My whole upper abdomen was in severe pain and i could tell something was wrong as the nurse got the anaesthestist and the surgeon. Apparently my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and my pulse went sky high. The surgeon's face looked so anxious and i remember the anaesthetist literally hanging off the fluids to get them into me quickly.
I was rushed by a blue light ambulance to the main local hospital. I cant remember a lot of what happened apart from the paramedics telling me i was probably ok as my bp and pulse was ok.... The next thing i remember is being in a room with a lot of people around me (including my partner) and them telling me i was bleeding internally and needed a second life saving operation. I clearly remember a man getting me to sign a consent form and him telling me that id lost a lot of blood and that there was a good chance i might not make it through the op. At that point i asked my partner for my mobile phone and to dial my house phone. I rang and left a message saying goodbye to my 2 year old daughter and telling her how much i love her. There were loads of people around me and they were telling me i'd be in intensive care when i woke up and might have a tube down my throat etc etc. I remember being wheeled into the theatre and telling my partner i love him. The last thing i recall is begging the anaesthetist not to let me die as i had a little girl.
It turned out that somehow the original surgeon had cut my spleen. Id lost half my blood and had a 4hour operation. I was in intensive care for a week, then in a surgical ward. when i was released from hospital i began having severe panic. I would pace the house, convinced i was dying and that i was bleeding inside again. I would shake all the time and phoned 999 countless amounts of time and kept being readmitted.
Im now on escitalopram, and more recently pregabalin to help the panic. I still have flashbacks and nightmares.I had a bit of cbt but the lady kept cancelling and im now awaiting a new counsellor. My surgeon has referred me to a psychiatrist.
I constantly think something is wrong with me. I have a massive scar from the middle of my ribs down to my pubic bone. Im in pain a lot of the time. At the moment i am obsessed with thinking i have a blood clot (even though the drs have told me that the likelihood of this 6months later is that of a normal person...) I keep on taking myself to a+e or urgent care, and i get admitted to hospital constantly. Medically my surgeon says im ok, but i dont ever believe anyone.
Im so depressed. Im a teacher and i cant go back to work yet which financially is putting so much pressure on my family.
Please, any help or advice would be so much appreciated.
Charlotte xxxx
In August 2011 i was due to have a routine day operation to diagnose endometriosis and perhaps cut it out if it was present.
When i came around, i was in a lot of pain and complained to the nurse who was by my side. My whole upper abdomen was in severe pain and i could tell something was wrong as the nurse got the anaesthestist and the surgeon. Apparently my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and my pulse went sky high. The surgeon's face looked so anxious and i remember the anaesthetist literally hanging off the fluids to get them into me quickly.
I was rushed by a blue light ambulance to the main local hospital. I cant remember a lot of what happened apart from the paramedics telling me i was probably ok as my bp and pulse was ok.... The next thing i remember is being in a room with a lot of people around me (including my partner) and them telling me i was bleeding internally and needed a second life saving operation. I clearly remember a man getting me to sign a consent form and him telling me that id lost a lot of blood and that there was a good chance i might not make it through the op. At that point i asked my partner for my mobile phone and to dial my house phone. I rang and left a message saying goodbye to my 2 year old daughter and telling her how much i love her. There were loads of people around me and they were telling me i'd be in intensive care when i woke up and might have a tube down my throat etc etc. I remember being wheeled into the theatre and telling my partner i love him. The last thing i recall is begging the anaesthetist not to let me die as i had a little girl.
It turned out that somehow the original surgeon had cut my spleen. Id lost half my blood and had a 4hour operation. I was in intensive care for a week, then in a surgical ward. when i was released from hospital i began having severe panic. I would pace the house, convinced i was dying and that i was bleeding inside again. I would shake all the time and phoned 999 countless amounts of time and kept being readmitted.
Im now on escitalopram, and more recently pregabalin to help the panic. I still have flashbacks and nightmares.I had a bit of cbt but the lady kept cancelling and im now awaiting a new counsellor. My surgeon has referred me to a psychiatrist.
I constantly think something is wrong with me. I have a massive scar from the middle of my ribs down to my pubic bone. Im in pain a lot of the time. At the moment i am obsessed with thinking i have a blood clot (even though the drs have told me that the likelihood of this 6months later is that of a normal person...) I keep on taking myself to a+e or urgent care, and i get admitted to hospital constantly. Medically my surgeon says im ok, but i dont ever believe anyone.
Im so depressed. Im a teacher and i cant go back to work yet which financially is putting so much pressure on my family.
Please, any help or advice would be so much appreciated.
Charlotte xxxx