View Full Version : Still worried about leukemia/lymphoma...
Last night I was tired, so thought I would have a good sleep. I'd had anxiety throughout the day, I'm still quite worried about leukemia and lymphoma. Last night I woke up at around 2am, my heart was pounding and I was roasting and couldn't stop shaking. I had bad insomnia and have now barely slept. My heart is still racing.
I don't know what a fever feels like, I'm worried that being roasting was a sign of a fever which is a sign of you know what.... I just can't stop shaking or focus on anything, I keep checking my lymph glands, I want to burst into tears. I'm so fed up of feeling like this.
Hi , when did you first have this fear?
Since October last year. I had an abcess in my tooth, and started googling thinking it was going to spread and poison me, (obviously I had the tooth extracted and nothing of the kind happened), that's when my real HA started. My gran died a couple of days later, then I caught a bad cold and I think all of it has just made me worry so much. I spend all my time worrying, googling, checking.... I'm 30 years old, have never had any health worries, never smoke or drunk... I just want to cry all the time.
I've been to the doctor she has referred me for CBT which is yet to start. I want to get a blood test but I'm so scared.
Please try and relax, or see your GP for reaaaueakce, it's better than self diagnosing yourself and panicking.
I used to have the same fear many years ago, then one day I just stopped worrying about it.
Recently I had a full blood count to check if I was anaemic, I wasn't, but my white cells were on the low side. That can be an indication of lymphoma and leaukemia, I've also had a skin infection behind me ear, raised glands and currently have a lump on my neck, but I haven't gone to the GP. I know I am ok and I will see how things go, and I trust my gp with regards to my blood results. Had this have been 7 years ago I'd have panicked, trust me.
CBT works very well, it helped me. Have you had any therapy?
You can feel very hot with anxiety, I've had that feeling in the past if ive woken in the night.
Try not to worry, you're fine I'm sure but see your gp for advice and some help with your fears.
Xx
---------- Post added at 10:20 ---------- Previous post was at 10:19 ----------
Sorry about my typos, this stupid iPhone changes words!!!!
Obviously I typed reassurance;)
I've had lots of therapy for different anxiety issues but this is the first time I've ever been so obssessed with it and my health. I don't know why I'm stuck on leukemia/lymphoma. All my common sense tells me that if I actually had it I'd be quite ill by now.I don't have any swollen glands, bleeding or bruising, fatigue, infections, weightloss, loss of appetite etc... I get out of breath when I do a bit of exercise but I think that's because I'm very unfit! I just don't know why I'm so worried about this and why it's affecting me to such a point.
macc noodle
26-02-12, 10:26
Last night I was tired, so thought I would have a good sleep. I'd had anxiety throughout the day, I'm still quite worried about leukemia and lymphoma. Last night I woke up at around 2am, my heart was pounding and I was roasting and couldn't stop shaking. I had bad insomnia and have now barely slept. My heart is still racing.
I don't know what a fever feels like, I'm worried that being roasting was a sign of a fever which is a sign of you know what.... I just can't stop shaking or focus on anything, I keep checking my lymph glands, I want to burst into tears. I'm so fed up of feeling like this.
Mary Mac - may I ask how old you are?
I am currently very anxious about recurring stomach and thigh pain and am awaiting a scan to put my mind at rest! My bloods all came back fine - which is good but then feeling rubbish makes all that count for nothiing because your mind works overtime.
In the week leading up to my test results I was just like you described above - every damned night - and I was so tired it just made things worse .... well I got the blood tests back Friday and I have slept brilliantly for 2 whole nights - woo hoo !! so I guess unless my dreaded disease is just having a rest - I will survive another day. And joking aside, what I am trying to say is that you are so anxious and worried about this that you are feeding the fear and causing a lot of these symptoms.
Also, if you are a woman of a certain age (yep I am that lovely age) you can suffer sleeplessness and fatigue and night sweats just because .....
:hugs:
Hi macc. :) I'm only 30 so I don't think it's because of that! I sleep with a big wooly blanket and my quilt and my PJ's are very warm so obviously THAT is what could be the cause of being too warm. It's the first time it's happened for a while. I'm glad your bloods were ok. I just know if I got them done I'd feel so much better but I'm just terrified. I'm also going on holiday in a couple of weeks which I'm looking forward to but unfortunately I have a horrible fear of flying so it might be a factor too.
ARGHHH!! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL!!
Hi Mary
Oh..I've been there several times over the past couple of decades! I'm suffering HA badly again at the moment & NHL is there amongst the top 3 self-diagnoses. My Dad died of NHL back in 1986. I've been to the GP's several times over the years with this fear.. (when I've reached such a pitch that I can't avoid an appointment any longer..I'm very resistant to visiting the Docs). As far back as 1995 when I had GF recurrence, I panicked it was leukaemia/lymphoma. Then in 2001 (aged 33) I was referred to a specialist due to my worries over lymph nodes in my neck, which felt huge to me,& but one of which the consultant had to really feel for. (They probably had been there since I had Glandular Fever in 1986(age 18) with recurrence of GF in 1995).I had been having night sweats too. He wasn't concerned, and I was reassured, & my blood tests were ok. I worried again in 2005 due to chest tightness but a couple of visits to the chiropractor seemed to relieve my symptoms and anxiety. Worried all of Autumn & Winter 2008 about NHL again (though I was having severe anxiety & depression that year with all sorts of somatic symptoms). Finally went to see GP in Nov 2008..FBC results were ok but white count was slightly on low side outside of normal range.(Dr explained that the 'normal range' can vary very slightly even between health authorities/areas & had I had the tests done in my neighbouring city it would have showed within range! GP never detected my panic over this, but I knew it could be a symptom of the diseases which like you I dread. Suffered anxiety for another month before returning in Jan 2009 to see my lovely Dr who explained he was not concerned at all but re ran blood tests & organised a chest x ray (once again I was worried about NHL in chest cavity as I had been in 2005). Xray was ok & my WBC had elevated very slightly to within the 'normal range' . Thankfully, not had any reason to return for blood tests and have 'cruised' on the reassurance I was given, until now...I am suffering HA badly again, due to chest/rib tightness & intermittent episodes of not being able to gain deep enough breath to satisfy. I have to reason that it is anxiety causing my symptoms, even if I don't feel consciously anxious until I get the symptoms! My Mum in law is dying with pancreatic cancer, two of my friends have lost their husbands to cancer over the past five years, and I seem to have 'absorbed' sadness, anxiety and panic. You need to try and 'detach' and find some ways to relax and gain reassurance, which is unbelievably easier said than done I know! You are only young...don't waste some of the best years of your life on anxiety! (As I have). Love & Strength :hugs:
ChristopherTG
01-03-18, 18:14
Hi MaryMac, I have this issue as well about Leukemia. I googled my symptoms. The issue I have is that I had a random swollen gland about 4 weeks ago and connected it with my upper left abdomen cramps I was having. Once google confirmed the relation between the two, I went into full panic, called the doctor, made an appointment, called my mom, woke my partner up - it was horrible.
Thankfully, I had an endoscopy and showed nothing, had an ultrasound and showed all my organs are fine, except a lot of gas in the area I am having cramps in, and next I am going for a colonoscopy on March 14th.
What I did notice is that cutting out caffeine caused my upper left stomach cramps to completely disappear. Stupidly, I started coffee back again about 4 days ago and the cramps returned - and so did the googling of symptoms when I began to experience the upper left cramps again. Hence why I searched for Leukemia and found myself creating an account here. :) My co worker just told me about beginning coffee again "if you know better, do better." so today is my last day of caffeine again!!
Working through it.
:)
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