Having a breakdown - help help help

[Zingara]

I am in a terrible state today - have been since yesterday, though I've actually been very bad with anxiety since Xmas. Today is a waking nightmare. I am exhausted - haven't been sleeping - but restless, nauseous, unable to concentrate, constantly in floods of tears, can't eat, can't focus, keep going hot and cold, I feel terrified and despairing, just frantic. I am trying to tell the people around me how bad I feel, but because I've had these problems for so long I just don't feel listened to at all. I'm supposed to be going away with my mum on Tuesday, and understandably she's looking forward to it and is annoyed and impatient with me that I'm suddenly so ill.
My boyfriend is kind of the same, gives the impression that he is finding me hard work and wishes I would stop 'going on about myself'. I don't want to give the impression they are horrible to me, often they are very supportive, but this time I just get the feeling that they can't be bothered with me because my situation just doesn't chime in with their mood. I feel so alone and frightened. I have had some very very bad times before, but for some reason I can't imagine myself pulling out of this one.
There's loads of stuff going on in my life right now - really stressful things - so in a way I'm not surprised that I've had an 'episode', but I can't rationalise the appalling sense of fear I have right now. I feel I desperately need someone to talk to, like a good therapist, but I can't get one on the NHS and I don't know where to turn to. Even if someone just says a few encouraging words it will help a little - I feel so lonely. Thanks.

[lee20]

hi zingara, i can completely understand how you are feeling right now. i promise this feeling wont last forever and you will be able to pull yourself out of this one. have you discussed with your doctor about being reffered for CBT with your local community mental health team?..... ive had 5 sessions so far and it is has definitely taught me more about my anxiety and im hoping it will help me to overcome my difficulties completely. if u ever want to talk then pm me. take care

lee

[Zingara]

Thanks so much for replying, it really helps. I have tried CBT in the past but have not really got on with it, although admittedly I don't think I had a very good practitioner. I feel that what would really benefit me would be to have a therapist, if only so that I can get things off my chest without talking to my nearest and dearest about them. I feel that I have a lot of emotional issues arising out of past events which need to be addressed. Anyway, thanks so much and all the best.

[Idstain]

Hi Zingara,

as lee said, try to remember that the feelings won't last forever and this will pass. Do the little things to take care of yourself like eating (i know it's difficult but it's good to get some food in you) and sleeping. Try not to be too hard on yourself either, many people have been through the same thing and come out the otherside stronger. take care.

[amanda*43]

Good luck Zingara. Hope you feel better really soon.