Zingara
26-02-12, 17:09
I am in a terrible state today - have been since yesterday, though I've actually been very bad with anxiety since Xmas. Today is a waking nightmare. I am exhausted - haven't been sleeping - but restless, nauseous, unable to concentrate, constantly in floods of tears, can't eat, can't focus, keep going hot and cold, I feel terrified and despairing, just frantic. I am trying to tell the people around me how bad I feel, but because I've had these problems for so long I just don't feel listened to at all. I'm supposed to be going away with my mum on Tuesday, and understandably she's looking forward to it and is annoyed and impatient with me that I'm suddenly so ill.
My boyfriend is kind of the same, gives the impression that he is finding me hard work and wishes I would stop 'going on about myself'. I don't want to give the impression they are horrible to me, often they are very supportive, but this time I just get the feeling that they can't be bothered with me because my situation just doesn't chime in with their mood. I feel so alone and frightened. I have had some very very bad times before, but for some reason I can't imagine myself pulling out of this one.
There's loads of stuff going on in my life right now - really stressful things - so in a way I'm not surprised that I've had an 'episode', but I can't rationalise the appalling sense of fear I have right now. I feel I desperately need someone to talk to, like a good therapist, but I can't get one on the NHS and I don't know where to turn to. Even if someone just says a few encouraging words it will help a little - I feel so lonely. Thanks.
My boyfriend is kind of the same, gives the impression that he is finding me hard work and wishes I would stop 'going on about myself'. I don't want to give the impression they are horrible to me, often they are very supportive, but this time I just get the feeling that they can't be bothered with me because my situation just doesn't chime in with their mood. I feel so alone and frightened. I have had some very very bad times before, but for some reason I can't imagine myself pulling out of this one.
There's loads of stuff going on in my life right now - really stressful things - so in a way I'm not surprised that I've had an 'episode', but I can't rationalise the appalling sense of fear I have right now. I feel I desperately need someone to talk to, like a good therapist, but I can't get one on the NHS and I don't know where to turn to. Even if someone just says a few encouraging words it will help a little - I feel so lonely. Thanks.