Don't think I can get through this!

[chucklehound]

Kev, my ex was taken to hospital yesterday because he is a manic depressive and is very unstable. I have had no end of calls from him, threatening me and swearing. When Kev is in this state of mind he terrifies me but the hospital won't give me details of how bad he actually is, I can only guess by the sounds of him when he rings.
I was awake most of the night panicking incase he got out and carried out his threats.
I rang the police who never came out although they said they were.
I wantted to get some kind of order against him to stop him coming but it seems I can't get one.

I have loads of stress in my life already without this happening too.
I don't know what to do anymore, my head feels so fuzzy and I am so mixed up.

Any words of advice or support would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[angie3077]

Hi,

It sounds like you are a having a bit of a rough time and my heart goes out to you. I can't really comment on your ex's illness as I am not really clued up about manic depression, I am sorry.

Do you have family or friends you can go and stay with for a while, rather than be on your own, and maybe get your number changed so he can't contact you. I can't think of any reason that you won't be able to get an injunction against him, which would prevent him coming near you or contacting you at all, if he did then he would be in breach of the injunction which would mean possibly being arrested and court action. Whatever you decide to do, I think you should do it soon as this man should not have this kind of impact on your life. I understand he is unwell but this is not your fault.

Hope you are ok?

Angie x

[Piglet]

I can only suggest what Angie has already said.

So sorry you are having to go through this mate.

Biggest hugs and thinking of you.

Love Piglet xx

[chucklehound]

Thanks Angie and Piglet for your support. I can't really stay with friends or family because they ould have to put my two children up too.
I am in the process of having my number changed at the moment.

Thanks again for your support.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

Have you told the hospital how he is harassing and threatening you? If they knew that they may stop him from making phone calls. I assume they must be giving him meds to stabilize his mood swings and hopefully they won't let him out until he is stabilized. I am glad you are changing your phone number so that if this happens again he can't reach you. I would go forward with the order against him though as he is unstable. Good luck my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[chucklehound]

Hi Belle, thanks for your reply. I have told the hospital and they moved the phone but they have to put it back soon for the other patients to use.
He has the card I need to get my money on Monday too which is another problem.

I am not sure whether they have given him meds because the hospital won't disclose anything at all.
I would have thought they would have atleast let me know that he was in hospital, it's all this patient confidentiality, they tell me nothing.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[bobsy]

chuck

sorry your not having a smooth time at the moment.

If he has your card i would ring the bank on monday and explain what has happened. maybe also try to ring the hospital manager up and explain to them what is happening i think u need to go one further than the ward your ex is on you need to speak to the top dog and be very assertive with them.

hope you soon will be back on your feet

take care

bobsy;)

[chucklehound]

Hi Bobsy, thank you for your support. It's at times like this you know who your friends are.
Hope you are well

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[chucklehound]

Well, the police came and basically said that there is nothing they can do for threats. they are treating it as low-risk because Kev is in hospital.


Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[emma chant]

HI ,you can get through this .Be strong and think possitive all the time. TAKE CARE.XXXX

e chant

[a-little-room-to-breathe]

Hey hun,

It's horrible to have to go through that, I hope you're ok. I know it's hard but try not to worry too much about him; hospitals are usually very careful with patients who could be a risk to others, if its any consolation, so he's unlikely to be any real threat. If he calls just put the phone down, seriously. Don't let him make you any more afraid than you are.
Don't worry hun, we're all here for you.

Love Katie xxx

"If I can wipe from any human cheek, a tear,
Convince one man that hope and heaven are near,
Create more joy, more hope, less pain,
And though not one shall know my name nor drop a flower on my grave,
I shall not have lived in vain while here."

[chucklehound]

Thanks Emma and Katie for your support.

I appreciate your kind words.

Thanks

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[Keitharcher]

Chuckie

Im sorry that your having a rough time at the moment it seems to me that the suggestion of getting away for a while would be the answer. In my opinion if he has the access to your cash then nothing anyone says can stop you from claiming it. The hospital should let you have it. The police need to be made fully aware of excatly how scared you are, ring the social services or any other aid group that you know would help. I can see why the hospital are not disclos9ing the tratment of your ex to you, its to do with patient confidentisallity, if hes been sectioned the minum he will be away for is a week. Just hope that the doctor treatining him has something about him and also knows of yours fears and the phone calls. maybe the police would let the hospital know how disturbing they are. My advice is onc this episode is behind you then make a clean cut a total break, its not worth the heart ache to remain in contact. Thinking of you

Keith

[chucklehound]

Hi Keith, thanks for your reply. I would love a clean break burt the problem is that we have 2 children and so this clean cut may be difficult.
I am not sure how I get over this problem.

Thanks for your support:D

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[chucklehound]

I have just rang the ward to check on Kevs state of mind. The nurse I spoke to said he was settled and that it would be ok for me to talk to him.
At first he was fine then he turned nasty and was kind of talking in code because there was a nurse in the same room as him. He said he knows all the right people to do the job, I know exactly what he means by this. He reckons he is going to send someone to beat me up!
He also thinks I want him sectioned which isn't far from the truth, I do want him sectioned for my safety not for the reasons he gave.

I am not sure but, I was thinking of contacting my solicitor on Monday to see if he can help me with getting some kind of injunction to stop him from coming up here.
Thank you to the people who have replied, I appreciate your support.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[Munchkin]

hi Chuckle,
So sorry to hear what your going through at the moment. it must be very hard, and my thoughts are with you.
do take care, and hang on because things will get easier i am sure.
xx

"A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

[bluesparkle]

hi chucklehound,
i just wanted to say hang on in there... it must be very difficult for you right now and i wish there was something i could say or do to make it easier on you and the children...
thinking of you and sending posative vibes
take care
rach

[chucklehound]

Hi Munchkin and Rach for your words of support. I am just taking things one day at a time and hoping that it will get easier. I am not sleeping too well at the moment and this is adding to my anxiety but hopefully I will settle down over the next few days.

Thanks again

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[shiv]

Hi there Chuckle.

I was wondering if your ex has ever carried out these threats of violence ever before, because if he hasn't I would say that it's all talk and it's a reaction that he's after. In which case I would tell him firmly but politely that you will talk to him when he's more "himself" and then put the phone down. hopefully you will get your number changed sooner rather than later.

I would say that a solicitor or the CAB would be your best bets at the mo. as Keith says, patient confidentiality is very strict and there are rarely any reasons for the docs to open up to you as unfair as it sounds.

I do hope this resolves itself soon and my best thoughts and wishes go out to you.

Shiv x

[Daisybun]

Hi Chuckle
So sorry to read about the rough time you are having. I would definitely contact your solicitor and see about how you can protect yourself hun, please. You're in my thoughts and prayers

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

[chucklehound]

Hi Shiv and Daisy and thank you for your replies. I have had my number changed now so he cannot get at me.
I am deffinately thinking about contactiong my solicitor, hopefully he can do something to help me too.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[hayles]

Sorry yo hear times are rough for you at the mo.
It seems though that you have your head screwed on (not screwed up...lol) and are doing what you can to put your own mind at rest.

Thinking of you, you are doing a great job at coping (or looking like you are,...lol) Keep it up. This will pass.

Love and hugs xxx

Hay x

[chucklehound]

Thanks Hayles for your support. I think my head IS screwed up and NOT screwed on lol.
I don't feel I am coping so well right now....

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[hayles]

Of course you are coping, Your still here.
You havent run off and hid in a corner never to return to daylight again!!!!
Have faith in yourself. As a lot of people say here, we ARE a lot stronger then we think.

And you have us as we have you so all will be right in the end!
How life would be dull if we didnt have these miss haps to keep us on our toes eh?....Yeah righ...lol!

Keep your chin up and your head held High you will come out of this, and you will be fine xxxx

Hay x

[Paddington]

dear chuckle,my god,i am disgusted at the way your feelings are being ignored by the hospital and the police!You have children too!dont they realise that manic depressives can be very threatening and dangerous too??I know they have to protect their patient,but you need protection too .Is there no help lines 4 family of those who have familky with such disorders??There is one called 'mind' but whether they only champion the cause of the ill person i am not too sure.Go to your solicitors and cab too,pester people till you get the help you need and deserve.You are a strong and very brave woman ,but enough is enough!!Here if you want to talk .love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[chucklehound]

Hi Hayles and Mary Rose and thank you for your continued support. I couldn't get through it without you and the other people that have replied to my post.
The police are absolutely **** up here, they know nothing when it comes to protecting the public. I don't know much about the CAB so I am not sure they can help.

I am just trying to get my money sorted ast the moment and it's proving to be more difficult than I expected... I am now expected to live on £34 a week for the next 4 weeks until they ger off their arses and sort things out properly for me.

Thanks again for your replies

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[chucklehound]

Well, at the moment I am feeling very low, I keep going up and down through worry. I just wish it would all stop.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[Two heads]

Sorry to hear you are having a bad time of it chuck,things will get better hun so keep your chin upxxxxxxxxxxxx

[chucklehound]

Thank you for your reply two heads. I appreciate your kind words and support:D

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[alexis]

Hi Chuck, not a lot of help Im afraid but just to say you are doing well and keep going, take care.xxx

[chucklehound]

Hi Alexis, thanks for your support hun, hope things are okay with you:D

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[ruthb1]

oh chuckle,

my heart goes out to you hun, you are having a bad time at the moment

is there any way that you can get in touch with BT and ask them to record the phone calls and then give this to the police as he shouldnt be able to make threats like that.

Maybe this would give them enough evidence to show that this is not your usual domestic.

feel free to Pm me if ever you need to talk


take care

i will be thinking of you


Ruth

[chucklehound]

Hi Ruth and thank you for your reply. I think that you have to go through the police to record phone calls, it is against the law to record a call without the other persons knowkledge so that would be a problem. Kev would behave himself f he knew I was recording.

Thank you for your support:D

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[chucklehound]

I spoke to Kev last night and now he thinks thaat I am having sex with his brother!!!! He doesn't seem to realise I would be going from bad to worse[Sigh...]
He spoke to the woman that his brother was seeing so he knows it wasn't me but in hhis mind it was[Duh!]
Whatever next??????

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[chucklehound]

Kev has just been with some money for me. I was in the bath when he knocked at the door and answered with just a towel round me, now he thinks I was having sex!!!
I am convinced he has totally lost the plot now.
He said last night that he going to be discharged on Wednesday and that the Dr on the ward said he doesn't need medication, I don't believe this for one second. He is a compulsive liar!

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[Piglet]

Chuck mate what family have you got round you where you live??

Is there anyone who would come and stay at yours while things get sorted out??

Like someone else said has Kev actually ever carried out the threats that he has made to you, in the past like????

Biggest hug hun and maybe yes do go and see a solicitor.

I also hope you get the money sorted soon too - I have had that happen to me in the past and its not funny.

Love Piglet xx

[chucklehound]

Hi Piglet, my famiy don't even know Kev is in hospital at the moment but they are so busy with work that there is no help he could give. He has threatened in the past but only carried a few out.
Thanks for your reply

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Chucks

There are some organisations for people in yoru situation that could offer you alternative accomodation.

This would at least give you some peace of mind and maybe even a fresh start honey.

Deep breaths and think about this and if you want some help finding out some information please nudge me on msn


Sue with 5

scknight

[fizzbomb]

hi chucklehound
my heart goes out to you it really does ,i think maybe it would be an idea to contact your solicitor on monday im sure there must be something he can do if your that worried,cant believe the police have taken that attitude to your problem ,i cant really give you much advice but feel free to pm me anytime you need to talk,
i really hope things get better for youand the kids
joanne

[Piglet]

Do you feel the threats he makes have any substance??

I don't know if this is true or not but someone said to me when people say these things then they very rarely carry them out - it's more the ones that don't vocalise that are dodgy. Does this sound like Kev - more vocal than dangerous!!

BIggest hugs mate and hopfully this crappy phase will pass soon.

Piglet x

[chucklehound]

hi Sue and Fizzbomb and thank you for your replies.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx