Can't see where to go from here :-(

[TallAndrew]

Hi all, I am in dire need of advice/help from you all, I have posted in the citalopram section before this but my symptoms appear to be getting worse if anything. I am not even sure if this is the right section of the forum to post in. I will try and keep everything as short as poss. I have beehn diagnosed with the big 3, OCD, Anxiety and Depression, and as such have been prescribed citalopram and in my 5th week of taking it. Now for my symptoms which are in my opinion pretty unusual and are giving a hell of a lot of grief. I believe I am a compulsive masturbator and the more I try and surpress the urge to fantasise about various women the more intrusive these thoughts become. It seems part of me can't walk past an attractive lady without admiring them. Now the problem comes, I have a gf who is fantastic and of course is oblivious to all of this and rightly so. I wouldn't expect her to understand. However whenever I fantasise about these women or actually masturbate, or in fact in any context where my own head perceives me to be cheating then it gives me lots of anxiety. I have been referred to a consultant but have no appointment as of yet. I really hate myself and half the time I am on the verge of tears and part of me wants to break up with my gf due to my hate of myself and the fact she deserves someone "normal". Suicide is becoming a less unattractive option, please don't construe this as me being on the precipice. I really don't know what to do :-(, my intrusive thoughts are getting worse and worse

[sickandtired]

hey most people masturbate...it is nothing to be ashamed of....even if you are already in a relationship.you ARE normal.you are giving yourself alot of grief feeling guilty about this,but I suspect you have other issues too......if you feel you can pm me,I can give you a female point of view...nothing will shock me

[oneofus]

Knowing the effects of Cit, I'd say you're damm lucky or you need to wait a while for its 'calming' effects to kick in. But as the earlier post said, you're not unusual.

Treat the gf well and she'll treat you well. I still remember my father-in-law in the pub after church one Tuesday after a few glasses of red wine telling me the secret of keeping the wife happy with a twinkle in his eye; buy her nice clothes. The next time they were buying us a cot for oneofus to be, and his wife a new outfit :-) They're still a marvellous Christian couple nearly twenty years on.

Take care

One of us

[theharvestmouse]

I can understand why its making you feel anxious, but the thing is with the intrusive thoughts is that its hard to control them. But I don't think its that abnormal to do what you are doing, you are not cheating on your girlfriend. Is this the only reason for the anxiety?

[TallAndrew]

Erm mostly yes, I wish I could understand why I have these intrusive thoughts, it really makes me doubt myself and my intentions. If one of these women threw themselves at me, would I be strong enough. I was out with my gf this afternoon and the more I tried to not look at women etc the harder I found it. I am told that the harder you try and fight intrusive thoughts the harder it is so perhaps thats it?