BrightPhoenix
03-03-12, 09:59
Hello everyone. This place seems like such a wonderful place to be.
I've been a longtime sufferer of health anxiety, here's why.
I think I've always been raised to be a bit on the soft/panicky side - I was the first child, so my parents kinda helped me a lot when I was having problems instead of letting me solve things myself.
I've often been able to handle anxiety, up until the age of 21. Things changed since then. This was when my wonderful mother was diagnosed with Hep B really late and her liver was at a stage that required a MANDATORY liver transplant. This was 7 years ago.
During that time I suffered extreme stress and worry about her and myself - while taking care of her I was experiencing major pains everywhere and an inability to concentrate I was worried sick that I too got Hep-B because of the pains I was suffering (looked up HepB on Dr Google back then) (and because I only took the first stage of the Hep B shot a few years before that and not the Booster).
I was doing my absolute best to take care of my mother, but I was a nervous wreck - got a massive panic attack and went straight to the ER thinking I had a heart attack. Told the docs there that I thought I had a heart attack and that I thought I had some sort of brain problem (because I was having trouble concentrating, my right hand went numb, I was getting headaches, etc). The ER physician there did some simple neurological tests (had me push my hand against theirs, follow their finger with my eyes, etc) and told me up front that nothing's wrong neurologically. They also said what I experienced was a panic attack (after they did an EKG and some other tests to check it out).
Had a Cat scan done a few weeks later by my physician at the time and that checked my head out clear. After that bout at the ER, a little more than a month later my mother unfortunately passed away only a few days after a successful liver transplant.
That huge time in my life turned me into a hypochondriac, because I felt the reason why my mom got so sick was because we failed to take her to a doctor when the symptoms showed and to have her checked out. It was also my first in-your-face encounter with human mortality. Ever since then I've been paranoid about my health.
My hypochondria flailed up maybe 3 years after the above incident, when I was having some minor stomach problems that wouldn't go away. Suddenly the doc was sending me to have an X-ray of my stomach done and then ordered a colonoscopy - a colonoscopy at the age of 24! Suddenly Dr. Google was there to tell me about all the horrible things that could be happening to my digestive system. Then usual symptoms of anxiety kicked in, and it AGAIN made me think I was having issues with my brain, and again I was sent for a CAT scan and I even had an MRI done, which both pretty much came out clear.
And here I am. It's been almost 5years since that second fiasco. I'm suffering another hypochondria episode, but I'll detail that in a post in the Health Anxiety forum.
I've been doing my best to try to work with a psychiatrist to battle this, as I just want to move on with my life and stop worrying about these things. I'm currently seeking a job and although I do have Medicaid available, I feel really bad using it when it's my hypochondria that's causing this. I'm in between psychiatrists as the good one I went to doesn't accept Medicaid - I'm trying to find one that does and that will be high quality (the psychiatrist I saw briefly during that second fiasco wasn't that good - the one I saw during the initial fiasco was excellent).
Anyway, I happened upon this forum doing a Dr Google search and it seems that there is a wonderful and caring community here. I've been hesitant to burden my friends and relatives with my current hypchondriatic worry and it feels great to be able to find a place where I can talk to others and get reassurance and support.
I've been a longtime sufferer of health anxiety, here's why.
I think I've always been raised to be a bit on the soft/panicky side - I was the first child, so my parents kinda helped me a lot when I was having problems instead of letting me solve things myself.
I've often been able to handle anxiety, up until the age of 21. Things changed since then. This was when my wonderful mother was diagnosed with Hep B really late and her liver was at a stage that required a MANDATORY liver transplant. This was 7 years ago.
During that time I suffered extreme stress and worry about her and myself - while taking care of her I was experiencing major pains everywhere and an inability to concentrate I was worried sick that I too got Hep-B because of the pains I was suffering (looked up HepB on Dr Google back then) (and because I only took the first stage of the Hep B shot a few years before that and not the Booster).
I was doing my absolute best to take care of my mother, but I was a nervous wreck - got a massive panic attack and went straight to the ER thinking I had a heart attack. Told the docs there that I thought I had a heart attack and that I thought I had some sort of brain problem (because I was having trouble concentrating, my right hand went numb, I was getting headaches, etc). The ER physician there did some simple neurological tests (had me push my hand against theirs, follow their finger with my eyes, etc) and told me up front that nothing's wrong neurologically. They also said what I experienced was a panic attack (after they did an EKG and some other tests to check it out).
Had a Cat scan done a few weeks later by my physician at the time and that checked my head out clear. After that bout at the ER, a little more than a month later my mother unfortunately passed away only a few days after a successful liver transplant.
That huge time in my life turned me into a hypochondriac, because I felt the reason why my mom got so sick was because we failed to take her to a doctor when the symptoms showed and to have her checked out. It was also my first in-your-face encounter with human mortality. Ever since then I've been paranoid about my health.
My hypochondria flailed up maybe 3 years after the above incident, when I was having some minor stomach problems that wouldn't go away. Suddenly the doc was sending me to have an X-ray of my stomach done and then ordered a colonoscopy - a colonoscopy at the age of 24! Suddenly Dr. Google was there to tell me about all the horrible things that could be happening to my digestive system. Then usual symptoms of anxiety kicked in, and it AGAIN made me think I was having issues with my brain, and again I was sent for a CAT scan and I even had an MRI done, which both pretty much came out clear.
And here I am. It's been almost 5years since that second fiasco. I'm suffering another hypochondria episode, but I'll detail that in a post in the Health Anxiety forum.
I've been doing my best to try to work with a psychiatrist to battle this, as I just want to move on with my life and stop worrying about these things. I'm currently seeking a job and although I do have Medicaid available, I feel really bad using it when it's my hypochondria that's causing this. I'm in between psychiatrists as the good one I went to doesn't accept Medicaid - I'm trying to find one that does and that will be high quality (the psychiatrist I saw briefly during that second fiasco wasn't that good - the one I saw during the initial fiasco was excellent).
Anyway, I happened upon this forum doing a Dr Google search and it seems that there is a wonderful and caring community here. I've been hesitant to burden my friends and relatives with my current hypchondriatic worry and it feels great to be able to find a place where I can talk to others and get reassurance and support.