Stezzle
04-03-12, 22:37
Just wanted some advice really.
I started taking Citalopram in 2010 after suffering 6years with anxiety. My anxiety, like most, has no logic what-so-ever. Its surrounded by the thought that i worry about being ill in public but because i'm worrying about it, i therefore am destroying myself and my life. I was on 10mg's for about 6-7months before upping it to 20mgs. I also go to yoga twice a week. I recently last christmas(2011) just stopped taking them, without my doctor knowing. My life was all back together, i was able to go anywhere without a shadow of a doubt. I thought "fantastic! I'm back, My life is back"
I went thought all the withdrawals. It took about 2weeks of dizziness and a spaced feeling, like my life was a dream before my eyes. I came through it and felt great.
My partners long term mates committed suicide in August (2011) a week before my birthday. I only knew him through my partner yet i felt a great lose. I held myself together and was strong for all around me. After coming off Citalopram, all i can think about is Why. Why did he do it? I know we will never get an answer. I don't know why it has taken to now to affect me. My partner is more over it then me. I think because i am always there for others, i am a mender, a fixer, a healer. I am devastated that our friend felt he could not talk to anyone about his problems. He too was like me, a helper to others. He wrote in his note how alone he felt, yet at the funeral, the place was overflowing with all the people he has touched. I also work in a negative place, my new boss takes out all her stress on the rest of the work force and talks down to other, this also has lowered my self esteem.
Since coming off my medication, things have gone backwards, I hate waking up and going to work. Its a continuous battle with my anxiety.
I have started back up again on 10mgs and my doctor has requested to see me, probably noticing that i havent been getting my prescription for a few months and then suddenly asking for it a few months later.
Am i doing the right thing? and should i just tell my doctor the truth? I am so confused but i know I cant continue like i am.
I should want to get thought this and back to the months i had of feeling great because i had finally over come it.:weep:
I started taking Citalopram in 2010 after suffering 6years with anxiety. My anxiety, like most, has no logic what-so-ever. Its surrounded by the thought that i worry about being ill in public but because i'm worrying about it, i therefore am destroying myself and my life. I was on 10mg's for about 6-7months before upping it to 20mgs. I also go to yoga twice a week. I recently last christmas(2011) just stopped taking them, without my doctor knowing. My life was all back together, i was able to go anywhere without a shadow of a doubt. I thought "fantastic! I'm back, My life is back"
I went thought all the withdrawals. It took about 2weeks of dizziness and a spaced feeling, like my life was a dream before my eyes. I came through it and felt great.
My partners long term mates committed suicide in August (2011) a week before my birthday. I only knew him through my partner yet i felt a great lose. I held myself together and was strong for all around me. After coming off Citalopram, all i can think about is Why. Why did he do it? I know we will never get an answer. I don't know why it has taken to now to affect me. My partner is more over it then me. I think because i am always there for others, i am a mender, a fixer, a healer. I am devastated that our friend felt he could not talk to anyone about his problems. He too was like me, a helper to others. He wrote in his note how alone he felt, yet at the funeral, the place was overflowing with all the people he has touched. I also work in a negative place, my new boss takes out all her stress on the rest of the work force and talks down to other, this also has lowered my self esteem.
Since coming off my medication, things have gone backwards, I hate waking up and going to work. Its a continuous battle with my anxiety.
I have started back up again on 10mgs and my doctor has requested to see me, probably noticing that i havent been getting my prescription for a few months and then suddenly asking for it a few months later.
Am i doing the right thing? and should i just tell my doctor the truth? I am so confused but i know I cant continue like i am.
I should want to get thought this and back to the months i had of feeling great because i had finally over come it.:weep: