ukmale
05-03-12, 13:54
Hi all this is my first post on this site.
A little background info on me, 5 years ago i started with anxiety, it become worse, i went through all the different types ranging from health anxiety and it had a massive affect on me as a person, i lost girlfriends, my business suffered and the doctors never really helped.
Anyway it took a good 2 years of really working on myself and hell of a struggle but i finally got over it completely (was the worst few years of my life i was so ill)
I have been fine now for well over 2 years and although il never forget it it was becoming a distant memory.
The reason i am posting on here is for a bit of help/advice.
6 months ago i met my current partner, i know for sure she's the one and i couldn't be happier, we have already made the step to move in together and are already talking about children next year and marriage were both 30 years old.
Last week she received a friend request from a friend, i asked who it was she said just a friend so i though no more of it. 5 mins later she received a text of this guy saying thanks for the birthday text on her new phone and number.... so as you can imagine i asked how he had her new number etc etc, something didn't sit right in my head so i asked were she met him and she said on holiday 2.5 years ago..... i had to ask did you sleep together? i got the answer yes... i trust her 100% and she was totally honest and admitted she text him few weeks back saying happy birthday and thats all there is too it, he's now married, they are not in any sort of regular contact and she didn't realise it would make me mad, was a difference of opinion but anyway thats not the problem all tat is resolved as far as our relationship is concerned.
But ever since then I'm not sure if this has triggered my anxiety off again, i cannot get this out my mind, i am over anylising it non stop and believe me she is totally committed to me, there are o trust issues and she is really the best girl i have ever met but now my mind is wandering to all sorts, I'm wondering about other partners, wondering what happened on that holiday 2.5 years ago, i cannot stop thinking and if i don't sort this i could potentially ruin the relationship.
Im panicking if she doesn't text as much as she used to, questioning to myself if she loves me, worrying non stop that she didn't say love you at the end of a phone call, telling myself that she's acting different and worrying about splitting up etc etc it goes on and on, all i can think about is negative thoughts although the reality is our relationship is perfect. yes somedays she doesn't send as many meaningful texts or contact me as much but in my head i turn this into a full scale battle, wondering why, wondering is she loosing interest etc etc. my emotions seem to be running so high i cannot think straight.
would you all say this is relationship anxiety or i have cause to worry about the relationship?
thanks for reading, i just need some constructive comments to point me in the right direction
A little background info on me, 5 years ago i started with anxiety, it become worse, i went through all the different types ranging from health anxiety and it had a massive affect on me as a person, i lost girlfriends, my business suffered and the doctors never really helped.
Anyway it took a good 2 years of really working on myself and hell of a struggle but i finally got over it completely (was the worst few years of my life i was so ill)
I have been fine now for well over 2 years and although il never forget it it was becoming a distant memory.
The reason i am posting on here is for a bit of help/advice.
6 months ago i met my current partner, i know for sure she's the one and i couldn't be happier, we have already made the step to move in together and are already talking about children next year and marriage were both 30 years old.
Last week she received a friend request from a friend, i asked who it was she said just a friend so i though no more of it. 5 mins later she received a text of this guy saying thanks for the birthday text on her new phone and number.... so as you can imagine i asked how he had her new number etc etc, something didn't sit right in my head so i asked were she met him and she said on holiday 2.5 years ago..... i had to ask did you sleep together? i got the answer yes... i trust her 100% and she was totally honest and admitted she text him few weeks back saying happy birthday and thats all there is too it, he's now married, they are not in any sort of regular contact and she didn't realise it would make me mad, was a difference of opinion but anyway thats not the problem all tat is resolved as far as our relationship is concerned.
But ever since then I'm not sure if this has triggered my anxiety off again, i cannot get this out my mind, i am over anylising it non stop and believe me she is totally committed to me, there are o trust issues and she is really the best girl i have ever met but now my mind is wandering to all sorts, I'm wondering about other partners, wondering what happened on that holiday 2.5 years ago, i cannot stop thinking and if i don't sort this i could potentially ruin the relationship.
Im panicking if she doesn't text as much as she used to, questioning to myself if she loves me, worrying non stop that she didn't say love you at the end of a phone call, telling myself that she's acting different and worrying about splitting up etc etc it goes on and on, all i can think about is negative thoughts although the reality is our relationship is perfect. yes somedays she doesn't send as many meaningful texts or contact me as much but in my head i turn this into a full scale battle, wondering why, wondering is she loosing interest etc etc. my emotions seem to be running so high i cannot think straight.
would you all say this is relationship anxiety or i have cause to worry about the relationship?
thanks for reading, i just need some constructive comments to point me in the right direction