sjmorrison
06-03-12, 13:47
Hi all.
I registered here a few months ago, but never felt able to say anything until now. I'm struggling to find anyone to speak to at the moment, and thought I'd talk here and see how I go.
After trying to have a family for over 12 years, my wife got ill from fertility tests, and ended up getting a hysterectomy 4 years ago, with 2 more operations since then to sort out the mess. She is well again now thankfully, and I am grateful for this, but the lack of children still hurts us both.
I have had some work issues, and that combined with the above has caused depression and anxiety over the last few years. I also have irritable bowel syndrome connected with this.
I'm currently on cipralex for the depression, and the anxiety comes and goes. My medication has been changed a few times, firstly after I self harmed at work 2 years ago. I had an argument with my boss's boss, and went out at lunchtime and hurt myself.
I overall feel better than I have for a while, but some days I still feel really uptight and anxious.
I find it really hard to explain to my wife how I feel, and she gets over protective at times, and this causes friction. On the other hand sometimes I do need to talk, and especially when I'm at work I struggle to find someone I can confide in. I'm on a policy at work called Management of Capability, which is to make sure I can do my job properly. My depression and associated problems have caused a lot of sick leave, and they are making sure I am well and able enough to cope. I'm supposed to be getting support from my employer, but my contact is my boss, and its hard to talk to him about how I feel.
With regards my lack of children, I feel sad that my wife and I cant experience a family, but I also have great feelings of guilt, because before the hysterectomy I didnt think I was too bothered about it. Some days I just feel like everything is my own fault, and beat myself up about it.
The slightest thing can set me off thinking about this, books, movies, TV and such.
I've had some counselling, and it helped a little. I dont ever really hear men talk about this sort of thing, most of my friends and colleagues either have children, or dont want them. I've never really spoken to any other men in my own position.
I'm hoping this hasnt become a wall of text too much to read, but I feel its time to get some of my feelings out and written down. I hope that there may be some folks here who may be in a similar situation who may be able to share their feelings with me.
Appreciate your taking the time to read this.
Regards
Scott.
I registered here a few months ago, but never felt able to say anything until now. I'm struggling to find anyone to speak to at the moment, and thought I'd talk here and see how I go.
After trying to have a family for over 12 years, my wife got ill from fertility tests, and ended up getting a hysterectomy 4 years ago, with 2 more operations since then to sort out the mess. She is well again now thankfully, and I am grateful for this, but the lack of children still hurts us both.
I have had some work issues, and that combined with the above has caused depression and anxiety over the last few years. I also have irritable bowel syndrome connected with this.
I'm currently on cipralex for the depression, and the anxiety comes and goes. My medication has been changed a few times, firstly after I self harmed at work 2 years ago. I had an argument with my boss's boss, and went out at lunchtime and hurt myself.
I overall feel better than I have for a while, but some days I still feel really uptight and anxious.
I find it really hard to explain to my wife how I feel, and she gets over protective at times, and this causes friction. On the other hand sometimes I do need to talk, and especially when I'm at work I struggle to find someone I can confide in. I'm on a policy at work called Management of Capability, which is to make sure I can do my job properly. My depression and associated problems have caused a lot of sick leave, and they are making sure I am well and able enough to cope. I'm supposed to be getting support from my employer, but my contact is my boss, and its hard to talk to him about how I feel.
With regards my lack of children, I feel sad that my wife and I cant experience a family, but I also have great feelings of guilt, because before the hysterectomy I didnt think I was too bothered about it. Some days I just feel like everything is my own fault, and beat myself up about it.
The slightest thing can set me off thinking about this, books, movies, TV and such.
I've had some counselling, and it helped a little. I dont ever really hear men talk about this sort of thing, most of my friends and colleagues either have children, or dont want them. I've never really spoken to any other men in my own position.
I'm hoping this hasnt become a wall of text too much to read, but I feel its time to get some of my feelings out and written down. I hope that there may be some folks here who may be in a similar situation who may be able to share their feelings with me.
Appreciate your taking the time to read this.
Regards
Scott.