Constant fear

[Katie*]

Hello everyone

I've been afraid of dying for about 5 years now. First I was afraid I had some kind of liver problem, then I was afraid of cancer.

I was through a period with a lot of stress. My mother committed suicide when I was pregnant, we moved, I had my son. I started to suffer from vertigo, then tingling in my hands. Then I made the mistake of visiting Dr. Google, and now I'm convinced I have MS.

I have slight vision problems. (Only with white on dark backgrounds for some reason.)
I have dizziness.
I have backpain.
I have pins and needles waking me up at night.
I have buzzing / vibrating and muscle spasms. (This started the day after reading about MS and went from 0 to 100 in a couple of hours.)

I've been to see my doctor twice, he thinks it's all in my head. Could this all be from anxiety? I WANT to believe that, because this is hell, I am so afraid of losing my mind, losing my life, I can't be happy with my family because of this. On the other hand, I went through all kinds of tests when I had stomach pains, thinking I had cancer, and it was pure hell, turned out nothing was wrong. I don't want to go through all kinds of tests again if I'm actually fine.

I hate myself for not being able to be happy. I've been surrounded by a lot of death, it makes me feel as if I'm next. I know a lot of people are saying that MS isn't that bad, but I've known two people who had it, and I'd rather just die now than walk down that path. I'm afraid that I'll just find something else to be afraid of, if it turns out I don't have MS. I don't have numbness or problems speaking / walking.

I am going to see a psychiatrist in a few days, hopefully medication is going to help! I have been drinking far too much to calm my nerves. Exercise helps a little, I've noticed I don't wake up with pins and needles so much when I've done my workout.

Katie

[Mountainclimber]

Dont spend anymore time worrying it doesnt get you anywhere. Think positive thoughts, as soon as you get a negative thought disract the thought by doing something . It will burn out in time as your not feeding the thought. Good Luck:winks:

[Katie*]

I know, thank you. :) I will keep trying. I had a good night's sleep with no pins and needles after doing a good workout.

[xxlisaxx08]

I know exactly how you feel. I've believed I've had many illnesses too. Just now it's cancer. I'm currently waiting on the results of a sigmoidoscopy & imaging the worst. I can pretty much guarantee you that it's anxiety. Lots of people around me died too when my health anxiety first began, I think it's a common trigger for health anxiety. It's horrible not being able to enjoy life anymore. There's a blog - maybeican(dot)blogspot(dot)com - the woman on it was going through exactly what you are know same symptoms. All her tests came back fine & it was definitely anxiety. She's now on meds for it. I hope the psychiatrist helps and you feel better soon x

[Worriedgirl87]

Hi I feel like you. I am constantly worried about something.
It's a terrible crappy habit we have of constantly worrying.
No matter how many times you go to the doc u will never believe him. :/

You just have to stop worrying cold turkey