Katie*
06-03-12, 16:16
Hello everyone
I've been afraid of dying for about 5 years now. First I was afraid I had some kind of liver problem, then I was afraid of cancer.
I was through a period with a lot of stress. My mother committed suicide when I was pregnant, we moved, I had my son. I started to suffer from vertigo, then tingling in my hands. Then I made the mistake of visiting Dr. Google, and now I'm convinced I have MS.
I have slight vision problems. (Only with white on dark backgrounds for some reason.)
I have dizziness.
I have backpain.
I have pins and needles waking me up at night.
I have buzzing / vibrating and muscle spasms. (This started the day after reading about MS and went from 0 to 100 in a couple of hours.)
I've been to see my doctor twice, he thinks it's all in my head. Could this all be from anxiety? I WANT to believe that, because this is hell, I am so afraid of losing my mind, losing my life, I can't be happy with my family because of this. On the other hand, I went through all kinds of tests when I had stomach pains, thinking I had cancer, and it was pure hell, turned out nothing was wrong. I don't want to go through all kinds of tests again if I'm actually fine.
I hate myself for not being able to be happy. I've been surrounded by a lot of death, it makes me feel as if I'm next. I know a lot of people are saying that MS isn't that bad, but I've known two people who had it, and I'd rather just die now than walk down that path. I'm afraid that I'll just find something else to be afraid of, if it turns out I don't have MS. I don't have numbness or problems speaking / walking.
I am going to see a psychiatrist in a few days, hopefully medication is going to help! I have been drinking far too much to calm my nerves. Exercise helps a little, I've noticed I don't wake up with pins and needles so much when I've done my workout.
Katie
I've been afraid of dying for about 5 years now. First I was afraid I had some kind of liver problem, then I was afraid of cancer.
I was through a period with a lot of stress. My mother committed suicide when I was pregnant, we moved, I had my son. I started to suffer from vertigo, then tingling in my hands. Then I made the mistake of visiting Dr. Google, and now I'm convinced I have MS.
I have slight vision problems. (Only with white on dark backgrounds for some reason.)
I have dizziness.
I have backpain.
I have pins and needles waking me up at night.
I have buzzing / vibrating and muscle spasms. (This started the day after reading about MS and went from 0 to 100 in a couple of hours.)
I've been to see my doctor twice, he thinks it's all in my head. Could this all be from anxiety? I WANT to believe that, because this is hell, I am so afraid of losing my mind, losing my life, I can't be happy with my family because of this. On the other hand, I went through all kinds of tests when I had stomach pains, thinking I had cancer, and it was pure hell, turned out nothing was wrong. I don't want to go through all kinds of tests again if I'm actually fine.
I hate myself for not being able to be happy. I've been surrounded by a lot of death, it makes me feel as if I'm next. I know a lot of people are saying that MS isn't that bad, but I've known two people who had it, and I'd rather just die now than walk down that path. I'm afraid that I'll just find something else to be afraid of, if it turns out I don't have MS. I don't have numbness or problems speaking / walking.
I am going to see a psychiatrist in a few days, hopefully medication is going to help! I have been drinking far too much to calm my nerves. Exercise helps a little, I've noticed I don't wake up with pins and needles so much when I've done my workout.
Katie